We Subside | Lost in Your Eyes | We Burned So Bright

Sayane found them asleep in the sunlight. It had been a few days since they returned. Though everyone had hoped that they would have enough strength to make it to the end of the blossoming season, the Naoe and Hazuki that returned from travel were already half gone. It seemed as though the joy and peace of the trip had let their spirits accept the oncoming end, thus accelerating it even more. After gifts had been shared, photos revealed, and stories were told, Hazuki collapsed in the hall and vomited an unhealthy amount of blood. Naie’s decline was less dramatic. She merely seemed smaller and quieter with every day.

It was almost too much when Matsumoto and Sayane revealed their biggest surprise: in the time they had been traveling, Inabe’s tourism and parks teams had organized a decent-sized festival to celebrate the plum blossoms arriving. It was to be that weekend. Festivities were to start in the early afternoon, followed by educational, hands-on time with the trees and soil. Fireworks would round out the evening.

The reveal had illicited a sincere and appreciative clap from both Naoe and Hazuki. Still, their decline was undeniable. But that didn’t stop them. Hazuki volunteered to help give tours. Naoe volunteered to speak about the trees. Then, she uttered the words no one was prepared to hear.

“I… I think I am ready. After that. Maybe even that night. If that is okay with you, Hazuki,” she whispered.

Sayane couldn’t speak. Hazuki nodded.

“I was thinking the same thing. I don’t have much strength left, and I fear if I wait any longer, there won’t be enough of me to neutralize the villagers’ curse. I am ready as well.”

No one challenged them. No one spoke. After a moment, Arthur finally cleared his throat.

“I will call Shinji first thing tomorrow morning. He was going to join us at the festival anyways. Please, get some rest,” he replied.

Rest they did. The two of them laid in the sunspots that dappled along the living room floor, soaking in as much light and warmth as possible. That is where Sayane found them. Softly she crossed the room and retrieved Naoe’s favorite blanket before returning to them and draping it over their trembling bodies.

“Thank you,” Naoe whispered from a half-asleep daze.

“Shhhhh,” Sayane replied as she rubbed Naoe’s hair.

Their last night arrived, and Matsumoto appeared at the house door with a bottle of sake and Shinji in tow with cookies.

For a brief moment, even with their bodies failing, Hazuki and Naoe were able to laugh and talk with friends once more. Towards the end of the evening, Shinji’s tone became serious.

“I… I have asked Guji to come assist me. I was not confident enough in my abilities, and we four wanted to be able to support you as much as we could. I will be there with Arthur, Matsumoto, and Sayane,” he said.

“In whatever way we can help, we will. We will be with you until the end,” added Sayane.

“Thank you all. You do not have to do that,” replied Naoe.

“We know. But we want to,” replied Matsumoto.

“You will not face your final moments by yourselves,” added Arthur.

“The last thing I must ask you both: are your hearts ready?” Shinji asked.

Naoe nodded. Hazuki paused.

“Hazuki, you have great rage in your heart, but in order for this to work, your offering must be of grace, compassion, kindness, and love,” Shinji added.

Hazuki understood, and as he looked around the room with a mind that was clear for the first time in years, he finally fully embraced what he felt. He was once afraid and apathetic. He was once abused and broken. He was once alone and lost. Now, he was healing. He wasn’t mended, but he was better. And that was enough.

“It is. I know now. What I feel, how I see the world, it’s no longer darkness. My heart is full of happiness and light. Not just from Naoe, but from all of you. I, we, wouldn’t have made it without the kindness you have shown us. We owe you all very much. Thank you for everything. From my heart, thank you,” he said with a bow.

With that, Shinji bowed and smiled. The night ended, then Arthur and Sayane walked with them down the hall. Neither Arthur nor Sayane could speak, with Sayane instead offering her arms for embrace. Naoe hugged her and thanked them both, followed by Hazuki. Arthur bowed to them before he and Sayane retired to their room and closed their door.

“Can we sit outside? One last night?” Naoe asked.

Hazuki led her to the patio and set a blanket out on the ground. Naoe followed him, holding in her hands all of the photos she had taken. Thousands of memories and stories were never captured in their years together, but at least she had those. A sob from Hazuki caused her to look up.

“I never should have left you that evening. I never should have left that grove. I wouldn’t have wanted to rush from my home as bad as I did. I wouldn’t have gotten hit. Things might have been so different. I wanted so much more time,” he finally admitted.

“Me as well,” Naoe said in a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything,” he said.

“None of it was your fault. We found each other again is all that matters. This last year with you has been the greatest joy of my life,” she replied as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Mine too. Do you want to try to stay up through the night?” Hazuki asked.

Though they were both were beyond exhausted, neither of them could bear the thought of closing their eyes one last time. Every waking moment was now sacred. They agreed to stay up as long as they could, and if possible, not sleep at all. Naoe’s photos were strewn across Hazuki’s bedroom floor, and they sat for hours looking through the recent memories, as well as reminiscing on moments long passed. Each of them decided to select a photo to take with them to the ceremony in final remembrance.

Naoe chose the photo of the two of them at the kintsugi shop, smiling and holding their bowls. Hazuki chose a photo of Naoe alone at the beach, ankles in the waters, that he had taken on the second day.

Then they told one another their favorite stories or moments they had shared. Both of them admitted it was the day they were finally reunited last year at Hazuki’s tent. Even though it was in a sad, isolated way, and so much pain led them to that state, they both still cherished the fact that no matter what it had meant that they were able to be together again. Everything that followed stemmed from that moment.

They spoke of their favorite food. Their favorite city and sight. Their favorite scent. Hazuki spoke of his grandparents and the time he won a swim meet. Then, their lips met. Hours were spent softly entangled in one another as skin grazed skin and touch memorized touch. It was slow, patient, thoughtful. Tender feelings were soaked into flesh and bone as the minutes drained away forever.

The sun began to rise. They had made it through the night. Naoe quietly fetched her books of poetry.

“Can I read you something?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” replied Hazuki.

Naoe skimmed through marked pages until she found her destination and cleared her throat.

“I… I wrote this,” she whispered.

“Oh wow!” Hazuki exclaimed as he sat more upright.

“It’s a waka: Our brief meeting. A dream I did not yet know. Like a flower blooms. I do not mourn its falling. Only that it bloomed for you.”

Once again, Hazuki felt the sting of tears.

“You’re very good. I love it,” he smiled.

“Thank you. That’s the first poem I’ve ever written down. I’ve written them in my head, but never had paper. Thank you for giving me so many small moments you never knew about,” said Naoe.

“Can you write it on my arms?” Hazuki blurted out.

“On your arms?” Naoe repeated.

“I think I’m going to need as much support as possible. I think if I look down and see that, that would give me strength.”

Naoe agreed and Hazuki handed her a wide-tip pen. Her hands wrote the script in shaky characters made of unrefined linework. She had never learned to write in any proper sense. That made it even more special for him.

“Would you write something on me?” she asked.

Hazuki agreed and thought of what to write. Minutes passed as he drafted his message. He arrived at a haiku. He spoke the words aloud as he wrote.

“Your smile, morning. I thank the dawns we received. Still, I crave one more.”

Naoe smiled and kissed his hand.

“Forever was never long enough,” she whispered.

“No, it wouldn’t have been. I love you,” Hazuki said.

“I love you,” she replied.

The two of them decided to shower together for one final ritual rinse. Several minutes were spent holding each other as the water ran down their bodies in comforting warm streaks. Arthur’s alarm began to sound not long after they exited and returned to the bedroom to dress. The day was upon them. Today, was to be the day they died. Today, they were to disappear forever. But above all, today, they would finally know release.