Seeker

How did this happen? I hadn’t even seen an animal injured. Father might have taken me on the hunts before, but I never saw what they caught until they were already considered processed. So much blood, it was just going everywhere. I wanted to scream, but sounds couldn’t even leave my throat. Everything constricted tight like fingers wrapped around me. I choked and collapsed. Shallow breathing and heavy beating of my heart, everything was loud in my head. The last thing I ate came rushing out.

Everything blurred and I couldn’t focus.

Snapping back to reality, I sat up in bed. Bed? I looked around, how did I get here? I guess I passed out? That’s embarrassing. I stood up still feeling a little foggy and slammed my hand against the desk for balance. “Woah, my head…”

I made it out into the hall as my body recovered. There was a low noise filling the whole space as if the stone itself was alive and speaking. I saw several passing through the hall as it seemed like every part of the temple was filled with visitors. How long was I out?

Slowly making it over to the main chamber, I staggered back seeing it nearly packed with people. It was larger than Linoth, how many were inside? I leaned against the wall not even moving. I hope none of them saw me. I didn’t need that attention.

It took me a while, but I slowly moved around to the hall and exit of the temple. Anywhere but all those people would be better right now. Outside, I froze up for a moment seeing the blood on the stone. The person that had been there was gone, but the image remained burned in my mind. I need to get away from this all!

Quickly, I hurried out the left side. It was the closest way. There were people, but I didn’t even notice. I’m sorry, but I can’t stay! I broke out into a run. It didn’t matter where I ended up. Left, right, I turned all over down the street and alley until I couldn’t move anymore. I crashed at the side of the road somewhere in Rastron.

I dropped to the dirt just staring out. I don’t know where I ended up. I was probably lost, but I couldn’t care about that now. Looking around, there were homes and shops up and down the street. Most seemed to be combined, probably businesses that they went into their home after.

There were less people wandering as when I entered Rastron and a noticeable different energy to them. I could feel the despair even from those that looked to be showing less. This was what I expected. Would they be able to recover as the Speaker hoped? They know their end is coming.

Searching around aimlessly, I saw a stall that looked to have been ransacked. The counter had broken boards. Pottery laid on the ground in numerous pieces like it had been thrown. Did they even know that it happened? Would they even care now? Why would they even want to destroy it? What did it do? Where was the logic in it?

Aren’t we supposed to follow Her reasoning? She breathed that into us and nurtured it, and yet we abandoned it so easily? Is this what we really are? Is this the purpose of Her words?

No, I refuse to believe that She sees us as something broken. She loves and cares for us. Only because of Her word do we grow and improve. She wants us to be better. But it’s all over. So what was it all for? Was it just pointless?

Did it have to be over?

How long did I stay there? The sun was down I think. I saw Kather on the rise. It had been too long. My stomach groaned. “How long has it been since I ate? Yesterday?” The only thing I remember was mother’s midday meal. Crap, I forgot to eat what she packed me!

I slowly walked back guessing on where I had to go. Looking at the stars, I didn’t see when something broke nearby me. I jumped back and looked to see that I nearly ran into someone. They staggered back, nearly thrown. I jerked around hearing a yelling voice.

“Say that again, you bastard!” It was a young man, a bit older than me thick with muscle and raging. He had such a dark and severe expression carved deep into his face that I thought I was looking at evil drawn to life. What’s going on? He grabbed the man that fell by his collar and rammed his fist into his face.

Slowly I pulled away seeing that it wasn’t the first blow. They were both bloody. It was a fight. Why? What happened? He just kept throwing his fist demanding him repeat whatever it was, but not even allowing him the chance. What’s happened to everyone?! Is everyone crazy?

I ran again.

It wasn’t long before I panted, but seeing those bloodied men made the scene from early rush back to me. The image chased after me, keeping me sprinting away from it. Its specter followed wherever I went. Dammit! I just want to sleep and forget all of this!

Nearly collapsing, I leaned forward, forced to stop from my body giving up. My legs refused to run another step. My heart burned like everything was on fire going up into my throat. I needed water.

Glancing up as I tried to recover, I saw a haze of light from around the edge of Rastron. I followed slowly after it hoping that it was what I thought. A couple of turns and a few slow walks, I could finally see the temple again with the familiar trees. But the light wasn’t the temple, rather the trees were on fire. How could that do this to Her temple?

I pushed myself to get back thinking that there was something that I could do. But as I got close the blaze had consumed the entire tree and to the surrounding ones. It didn’t matter how big of a bucket I had, I wasn’t putting that large of a fire out.

Trying to hold in my thoughts, I stepped into the plaza catching a black mark on the pillar. Part of the bushes and flowers looked torn up and roughly written out “Liar”. I grabbed my chest and turned away. Is this all we are? Please, Ministra, we’re better than this! Don’t view this as all we are!

Please!

Inside the chamber, the crowd remained, though looking a little thinner. Were they just ignoring everything outside? You’re being vandalized and no one is stopping them! I just pushed on to the hall.

“Speaker! I’m relieved to see you’re fine.”

Startled, I jumped back and saw that it was Priest Gerth. I should have recognized his voice. “Priest Gerth! Have you seen what’s happened?”

“Yes and I’m glad that you’re safe. When you were missing from your quarters, I got concerned.”

“Aren’t you even bothered by what they’re doing?”

“Everyone deals with trauma in different ways. I can’t change or stop how they choose to vent those emotions. I can only provide support and aid should they seek me.”

“But shouldn’t someone go to the people and calm them down?”

“Are you volunteering, Speaker?”

“W-what?!” I pulled back at even the suggestion.

He laughed a bit, which seemed hardly like the right time. What was wrong with him? How could he be like this? “I wouldn’t ask you to do that. This is our home and our problem. But I do wish to ask you something. Do you feel that you have fulfilled Head Priest Cathlin’s orders?”

“What do you mean?”

“He sent you here to help find answers to Her word. Do you feel that you have found that answer?”

We didn’t even discuss that. You used me to swing a vote in the end. And now your town is in complete chaos. Why are you asking me about answers? “What does that matter now? There are more important things happening.”

“On the contrary, what is happening in Rastron is happening all over I fear and with time that will fade or grow worse.”

“But I can’t do anything about that.”

“Perhaps you can.” I shook my head. What are you trying to say? “We’ve told the people that our home is ending. But what people don’t know is, why. For many, that is more important than that it is even happening. You can give them that piece of mind.”

“I don’t know that answer.”

“That was why you were sent though. You want to know why Ministra says we’re dying. Find that answer for us, Speaker. Give the thousands of souls under Ministra’s shadow the peace of knowing why things end.”

Why me? I’m just a Speaker! Why are you all throwing this on me? Why must it be me?!