Sly Fox

With the seminar over and done with, Raian thought of no better way to make use of his newfound knowledge than to spend the next fifteen minutes helping Professor Faloux operate a vending machine.

He caught the old elf repeating ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to the hunk of metal in the middle of the hallway. The elf was still apt in many fields despite his age, but the rise of technology in recent years didn’t quite grasp the man.

Eventually though, after much faffing about, Raian caved and used his own spare coins to get the professor one of them newfangled carbonated beverages everyone was rattling on about these days.

With the promise of cheese when they next meet, Raian thought that maybe it wasn’t such a bad encounter after all.

But speaking of bad encounters, his demonic companion chose to announce their sudden appearance with a leap and a hefty smack on the back of his head. Passing academics gave scornful looks as Raian didn’t chastise Unali, but rather himself. A few years ago, he could’ve seen that coming and dodged it with ease.

And with the lack of wanting to hit back with his notebook, the man realised he was losing his edge.

“So?!” Unali beamed, matching his pace and leaning in closer.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?”

“What do you mean ‘what do you mean’?” Raian growled, his patience already razor thin.

The demon’s eyes widened as visible frustration came over them, waving their limbs about like a muppet. They took a moment to sidestep an Aberrant of the Crab variant that shot them a passing salute.

“I mean how did it go?!” they shrugged.

“Oh!” the realisation finally hit him, “It went smoothly; Grimsby only cried a little bit. I also discovered that Orca Aberrants are born with at least two hearts, and they fuse together when they reach adulthood.”

Admittedly, Unali didn’t know that, and found that genuinely interesting, despite it raising more questions. But that wasn’t what they meant either, as evident by the sudden punch in the shoulder Raian earned.

“Last night!” the demon cried, “You didn’t tell me anything about last night!”

In all fairness, they did have a concussion and a pretty gnarly head wound. Any words Raian put in their head would’ve simply rolled out.

“It was fine,” Raian swallowed, feeling the Senrali’s glare on him, “he dragged me into the ocean a bit, I threw him into the ocean a bit, bought some junk, ate at Pablo’s Place, very quickly left, and then, ah… I took him to that fountain.”

“You took him there of all places?” the demon’s voice raised an octave, “Damn, alright.”

“What? That fountain’s a nice place!”

“You’re right, it is a nice place,” Unali shrugged, “and the last four girls you took there all thought the same too.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Whether consciously or not, Raian immediately picked up the pace in a futile attempt to outwalk his companion.

“Oh, come on!” Unali cackled as they caught up, “He didn’t ask to go there, you took him there, didn’t you?”

He didn’t even need to turn around to know they had the most insufferable smirk plastered across their face right now.

“You’ve so got intentions.” They continued, sticking their tongue out by the end.

“Yeah, I intend to make his days fun, it’s my job.” The handler spun around to face Unali, continuing to pace backwards, “It’s not that deep, Unali, I just took him to a place that I like. Plus, he enjoyed himself, and that’s what’s important.”

Unali let out a series of affirming hums just dripping with sarcasm and insincerity.

“By the way,” the demon began, lifting their horned head with a grin, “Mochi said he wants to ask you some questions.”

“About what?”

“Random stuff, I guess. He’s quite driven to know more about you,” Unali raised a hand to silently tell Raian to move out of the way of an oncoming Aberrant, “what brought that on?” They asked curiously.

The man exhaled, twirling around once more to face forward and whacking his notebook against his leg.

“I ah…” the handler bit into his tongue, “I told him about Luca.”

Unali’s teasing snarl faded, and they went quiet.

“I see.” They spoke dismissively.

“He said he wants to meet her.”

The Senrali scoffed as their tail rapidly swayed from left to right. The two remained silent for the time being as a pack of rowdy maintenance personnel shaking their brooms about passed by. Then, Unali stopped in their tracks, doubling back to reach toward a door embedded into the wall too small for any larger Aberrants.

“What’re you doing?” Raian called backwards.

“Hold on one mo’,” the demon staggered in their tracks, wrapping their violet fingers about the doorhandle, “I need to change God’s Wound’s bandages after lunch.”

And as doors typically do, the gateway to this supply closet creaked open. Unali swung their digits around, eyeing up the rather disorganised wall of important clutter with scrutiny.

Soon, Raian joined the search, with both parties ignoring the fact that Grimsby was huddled in the corner quietly having a mental breakdown.

The elf’s weeping and wailing became almost a weekly routine; everyone knew, and everyone figured it best to just leave him to it. Get it out of his system, if you will.

And that was why Unali, upon realising the crying mess was obstructing their goal, shoved said obstruction to the side with a loud rattle without even acknowledging him.

With bandages in hand, the supply closet belonged to Grimsby once more as the door slammed shut.

“What kind of name is ‘God’s Wound’ anyway? Who the hell came up with that? I’m gonna try getting it changed.” Their face screwed up, silently bringing up the notion of finding whoever named him and throwing eggs at them.

Raian hummed with disinterest, only paying attention to his suddenly growling stomach.

“Can you pay for my food?” Raian piped up as the two continued on their journey, “I used the last of my coins helping Faloux figure out how to use the vending machine.”

“Faloux?”

“Yeah.”

The Senrali’s brow lowered, looking over their shoulder down the hallway.

“You know his son invented those things, right?”

“What.” Raian glared.

“Yeah – why wouldn’t he know how to use them?”

The duo came to a standstill just outside the entryway to the cafeteria, and with the muffled roar of the crowd coming from inside, Raian remained petrified, stricken with the look of someone trying to solve an incredibly complicated mathematical problem.

“Bruh,” the demon bared their fangs in a tormenting grin once more, giving their friend a consoling pat on the shoulder in passing, “you just got scammed by a war veteran.”