Regrets

The evening light faded onto a dull grey.

The scent of freshly cooked rice and simmered vegetables filled the small home. They sat down around the low table, the wooden floor creaking beneath them. Ren quietly folded his arms in his lap. Asahi kept his gaze fixed on his plate, while Haruto stared openly at Yume.

Yume served the food quietly. The clatter of bowls and the soft sloshing of soup were the only sounds.

Halfway through the meal, Asahi finally broke the silence.

“Where’s your mother?” he asked.

Yume’s hand froze for a moment before she resumed ladling broth into her own bowl. “She went to a neighbor’s place,” she said. “She’ll be back soon.”

The meal ended without further conversation. When they finished, Yume cleared the table and gestured for them to sit in the living room.

She sat down across from them. “The villagers told you, didn’t they?”

Asahi gave a small nod.

“Fine,” she said after a long exhale. “You deserve the truth.”

There was a long, brittle pause before she began.

“I loved Kurosawa,” she said. Her voice was low but clear. “I still do. But… back then. I was confused. I though loving someone meant that all the doubts would go away. That all the cracks would disappear if I just tried hard enough.”

Her hands trembled as she pressed them tighter.

“And then Yukawa – “ her voice caught. “He was there when I felt most lost. When Kurosawa and I fought, when I thought he didn’t understand me anymore… Yukawa listened. He made me feel seen again.” She smiled bitterly. “At least, that’s what I thought.”

She looked up at them, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“I’m not going to pretend I didn’t know what I was doing,” she whispered. “I did. Every step into that betrayal… I knew. And I hated myself for it even as it happened.”

The room remained dead silent.

“Naomi,” she continued, “he saw the cracks too. And he widened them. Quietly. Gently. Just enough that I didn’t realize until it was too late. He twisted things, made me think… maybe I deserved something more. Someone better who wouldn’t fight with me. Someone simpler.”

She laughed in a broken voice.

“I was a fool. A coward. I hurt the only person who ever loved me unconditionally, just because I was too weak to face my own fears.”

She wiped her tears.

“I did despicable things. When Kurosawa found out… he just stared at me, with blank eyes. My emotions had already twisted by Naomi. I thought that Kurosawa just wasn’t meant for me. He was the one holding me back…”

Her voice broke.

“And I… I was so afraid. So twisted inside that I lashed out. I threatened to falsely testify against him… and I did,” Yume whispered.

“I accused him of hurting me. Of hurting Emi… Yukawa backed me up. He altered the reports to frame Kurosawa as unstable and unfit. I was granted full custody of Emi.”

Haruto’s hands clenched.

“I thought… with Emi with me, I could lead a peaceful life with Yukawa,” Yume said in a trembling voice.

“That I could move on, even after all I’d done.”

A long, ragged breath escaped her.

“But Kurosawa… he was broken. Naomi found him and recruited him. Yukawa hated it. He couldn’t stand that Kurosawa was still valuable. That Naomi had essentially just provoked him.”

Her voice fell to a whisper.

“And so… Yukawa used me again. He conviced me that Naomi was a threat to Emi… He twisted my fear and my guilt. He made me believe that the only way to be free was to get rid of Naomi.”

Her body shook.

“So I… I… seduced him,” Yukawa said, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Since the first day, I had noticed the eyes with which he used to stare at me… at my body. So I used this to gain his trust. I waited until he let his guard down… and then… I killed him.”

Silence.

The word hung there.

“I murdered a man,” Yume said. “Not because I wanted to. But because I let myself be led like a dog on leash. Because I was too scared to say no.”

She buried her face in her hands.

“And when Naomi’s body hit the ground… when his blood soaked into my hands… I realized what I had done.”

Her shoulders shook violently.

“The weight of everything hit me like a truck. I wasn’t a victim,” she sobbed. “I wasn’t innocent. I was… a monster.”

The room was still, except for the ragged sound of her cries.

“I killed Naomi. I ruined Kurosawa's life…” Yume wept. “I betrayed him. Lied about him. Took away his child. All because I was too weak.”

She continued in a raw voice, “I’m sorry… Kurosawa… Please… forgive me…”

She pressed her forehead to the tatami, bowing deeply in complete and utter shame.

Haruto stood, shaking with rage.

“You think an apology can fix this? You think you can cry away what you’ve done?” he hissed.

Yume didn’t move. Didn’t lift her head. She stayed bowed.

“You destroyed him,” he hissed. “You ripped apart Kurosawa's life. You tore his daughter away from him. You murdered a man in cold blood.”

Still, Yume didn’t move.

“And for what?” he snarled. “For a promise of peace? For a lie?”

Haruto leaned down before whispering in her ears.

“Did you know how they are now? DEAD! Kurosawa and Emi are DEAD!”

Yume’s mouth opened, but no sound came out.

“And who killed them?” Haruto spat. “Your precious Yukawa.”

Then, Haruto’s hand lashed out cracking sharply across Yume’s face.

She fell sideways with a broken, breathless gasp, sprawling across the tatami like a discarded doll.

Asahi immediately stood up, “Oi Haruto!” but seeing the rage in Haruto’s eyes, he didn’t dare to interfere.

And then –

She screamed.

It was the raw, guttural shriek of something shattering from inside out.

“No…” she sobbed. “No… no… no…”

She clawed at her own arms.

“I killed them… I… killed them…”

She slammed her forehead against the floor, over and over again.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Kurosawa… Emi… Please… please… forgive me…”

Her tears flooded the floor beneath her, her nose running, her mouth slack, her cries choking her. She tried to speak, but the words caught n her throat, strangled by the weight of her guilt. Her hands desperately tried clutching the floor as if trying to hold onto something – anything – before the suffocating silence swallowed her whole.

It was pitiful.

It was disgusting.

It was what she deserved.

And as she sobbed in the ruins of her own life, the moon outside hung low and hollow in the sky, watching in silence.