Part I - Summer (Late) - "I was too late."

Cameron wandered around the village after that. The sun beginning to set. Replaying in his mind the two encounters that had just taken place, back-to-back, neither one having gone the way he'd expected. (… One of them really not being what he'd expected.)

The first one being a complete shrug of an answer.

The second one being an absolute, steadfast refusal. (To put it mildly.)

Cameron-kun … Have you spoken to Miyu about any of this? Properly?

But … They had talked … Hadn't they? In their own … Miyu-Cameron way? Those faint smiles, warm glances, whenever he mentioned about their future—which he had always tried to weave so tactfully, organically into whatever adjacent conversation they were having; always with off-hand, subtle remarks—had he been wrong to take those as tacit agreements, implied alignments on a future together? … If she had a different future in mind, surely she would've spoken up about it … Right?

… Wasn't that something he'd always taken as a point of pride about their relationship together? That they weren't messy, they weren't full of drama, like some of the other couples he'd seen at school?

Three years in and they were still tickling each other on the crystal train, or poking each other's cheeks, all in lieu of discussions about things they were already on the same page about anyway.

That was … That was a good thing, right?

Actions speak louder than words, right?

… Right!?

And how do you expect, any of that to be done? … Is this your idea of a twisted joke?

And what had Elegia meant by this? … Miyu's brother had always been cold, aloof, sure—but Cameron never would've imagined that he disapproved of their relationship altogether.

… not fit to marry my sister.

Was it because he was human? Was it because she was Lazumere's avatar? She didn't want to abandon her duties here? … Okay, fine, they could work around that—the crystal rail exists, maybe they'd have to go a few months every year without seeing each other. Miyu in Lazumere. Cameron in the City. Big deal. They were doing that already.

I can see now that you never were.

Cameron couldn't breathe. His thoughts spiraling. He walked the entirety of the village, at least twice. Dark out now. Mrs Nocturne was probably wondering where he was, why he hadn't shown up for supper.

And you never will be.

He kept replaying the earlier conversations, looking for something, anything, he'd missed. His mind analyzing, re-analyzing each second. Going around in circles.

When he was back at school, working on particularly difficult problems, or troubleshooting his machines that weren't working as he expected, his mind spun similarly as it worked toward a solution. But those problems were all solveable. They always had a solution. And he loved the thrill of it, the challenge behind it, the way his head hummed and buzzed as it fired on all cylinders, in pursuit of a solution.

… Well. His mind was hard at work now, but even he knew there'd be no solution waiting at the end of it.

Mister engineer. You gotta turn this thing of yours off. People aren't like the machines you build, you know.

Thanks, Yuka. Oh, he knew, alright.

… But he also knew, he had no idea how to stop his brain, when it got like this.

At some point during his walk toward the Reliquary—not headed there for any particular reason, just letting his feet take him wherever—he considered buying some rice wine, and drinking just enough that he could dull his mind, just for a bit. But he thought better of it, knowing the entire village would hear about how he was buying alcohol alone from the general store owner by the next morning.

It was right when he entered the Reliquary, and saw some of the kneeling elves drinking crystalbrew from the small metal cups, that he remembered Heinrich's words.

Well, you get a bit of a buzz from it. Numbs your brain, sorta. Like your head's … empty? I guess?

And no sooner had he recalled those words than he was already approaching one of the lesser priestesses.

The priestess seemed confused, at first. She tilted her head, asking him something he couldn't understand, in her elfen tongue. She didn't seem to speak any Common.

"Y-yes … Please. The—the cup. The crystalbrew." he said, gesturing at the cup in her hand. Why'd he have to choose the one priestess who didn't speak any Common around here? Where was Miyu? Maybe she could—… Wait, no. He didn't want Miyu to see him like this. Better to drink, and get out of here as fast as possible. Miyu'd see right through what he was doing. … Using a sacred ceremonial drink that was supposed to connect elves to their departed loved ones as a way to try and forget his troubles.

Not Cameron's proudest moment.

But he just couldn't—stop—all—the—thoughts. He had so many of them. They threatened to consume him.

Why—why did he have to go into Elegia's room!? It hadn't been part of his original plan. But with Mr Nocturne's unsatisfying non-answer, Cameron couldn't just end things like that. In his infinite naivety, he had genuinely expected Elegia to give his blessing. Hey, maybe not an enthusiastic, "Oh, yes! You betcha, future brother-in-law!," but he would've settled for a cool, "… Sure. You're a good dude, Cameron." … But he could never have prepared for what actually happened. And why did—

—And there he went again, thoughts spiraling off for the trillionth time.

Heinrich, at some point, maybe during first year, or second year—or whatever, who even cares what year, remarking: You know, Cam, I'm scared to see what it's like in your head. Like—if we wrote down your internal monologue, I'm sure it'd be a complete nightmare. You're always jumping from thought to thought, man. You gotta switch off, sometimes.

Yes, thank you, Heinrich who lived in Cameron's head. Now shut up and let him drink this crystal. The sooner he drank, the better.

But the priestess seemed unsure, still. Muttering something he couldn't understand. She looked around, as if hoping for another priestess to step in. Cameron started to grow impatient.

"Please? The cup?" He was almost begging by this point.

Hesitantly, she handed it over.

And as he took it from her—not rudely, exactly, but perhaps without the proper reverence such an offering demanded—and placed it to his lips, his mind already at work thinking about how he might be able to surreptitiously visit a different priestess to score a second serving, he downed the entirety of the cup in a swift gulp, paying no attention to the way the lesser priestess in front of him gasped in horror—

Heinrich was right. It was bitter.

He didn't remember too much after that.

The cup dropped to the ground, his motor control the first thing to go.

Breathing quickly became impossible. His vision swimming. Heart beating out of his chest.

He remembered seeing the lesser priestess in front of him freaking out, nearly hysterical.

A crowd forming around him.

The last thing he heard was Miyu's voice from somewhere above him, her voice stricken with panic: "Cameron? Cameron! Don't tell me you drank—… Did you drink the entire cup!? … You're only supposed to take a sip of—"

He didn't hear the rest.

Everything went dark after that.