Days 4-31: Ava

On the way back there weren't many issues. No flat tires, no criminals, or anything of that nature. It had only been a few days in so thankfully nothing was destroyed and the road was clear. Except for some passing cars, they were probably heading home too. The trip took us about a week because we stopped at a lot of places to gather supplies like water, snacks, gasoline—just in case we ran out and no one was running the gas stations. For someone like Leo, he was more prepared than I thought. Thinking about it now, he always had this sense of dread, so it was weird seeing him be so productive. He was a good worker, but he never seemed to care about what he did. Then again, I guess no one’s really passionate about being a server. Even so, it felt like he was never truly there. Now, though… I guess the end of the world changed him for the better.

During the trip, Leo often tried to talk to me. He could tell I was still upset and kept making small talk. I always replied, but our conversations would quickly fizzle out—I just didn’t feel like talking. He was persistent, though. No matter what, he kept asking how I was doing and if I was okay. That first day, I was dismissive and gave him a half-assed response like ‘I’m fine’ or ‘There’s nothing wrong.’ Obviously, that wasn’t the truth, but it felt weird opening up to someone—especially someone I barely knew. It’s strange—I wasn’t willing to open up to him, yet I was fine being on the road with him for a week. Maybe it wasn’t about trust. Maybe it was just easier to let someone protect you than to let them see you

For the first few days, we didn’t really talk. But on the fourth day, I got curious. I wanted to know why he was being so kind to me, why he was going out of his way to stay close to someone he barely knew.

“Leo… can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Why do you put so much effort into helping me?”

“Well... you remind me of someone I used to know.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, this person would look at life through such a sad lens. They would think that there is no meaning in life and that every action they make is meaningless because they would be better off dead. I guess that last part is more like them, not you.”

The way he said it—it didn’t sound like he was talking about someone else. I’ll just ask to see what he says, “Oh, was this person close to you?”

“Yeah, you could say that I guess.” He continued to stare at the road, “I also wanted to help you because I believe that everyone’s life is important and is worth protecting. Every life, even the scum who tried to assault you—I could’ve killed him. No—more like I should’ve killed him. But he was a human being and didn't deserve to have his life taken away by another person."

I wasn’t sure if I agreed. Part of me thought he should’ve done it—that guy deserved worse even. But I also knew Leo was clinging to something… maybe something was holding him back.

At that moment both of us froze. No words, no noise, just silence. I could tell that he was thinking about something. 

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked him.

“Oh yeah me? I’m perfectly fine. It’s not like I got hurt so don’t worry about me okay?”

“Yeah sure…”

Our conversation ended there, but I couldn’t help worrying about him. Something was going on in his head, and he wasn’t telling me. I knew it wasn’t my place to pry—it’s not like I’m his girlfriend or anything. But still... I want to help.

We eventually arrived at his home, but something was bugging me.

Wait. He never mentioned it was a farm. A massive one too. With land stretching forever—and was that a lake? Did they seriously own a lake?

While we were pulling in, I stared out the window like a child pulling up to a playground. At that moment I kind of forgot about the end of the world and was just happy to be staying at such a nice place.

“You good?”

“Yeah, you didn’t tell me that your family was loaded?”

“Just a little I guess."

“A little huh. By the way if you were this rich then why did you work so much? I swear I saw you there everyday .”

“Uh, just needed the money,” he mumbled, eyes darting away. Liar.

“Whatever you say…”

As we pulled in his parents rushed out, it looked like they were about to cry. He got out of the car and was immediately met with a hug. His parents seem kind, they really did care for their child. His mom asked him if he was okay and if he was hurt by any criminals. He said that he was fine but his mom insisted that he goes inside and gets some rest. I then awkwardly step outside of the car and they immediately notice.

“Leo!” his dad said. His voice was deep and strong, he kind of sounded angry. “You didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend.” His tone switches to a joking one. “So, what’s your name, pretty lady?”

“Uh I’m Ava. But—”

“Well nice to meet you Ava. I sure hope my son hasn’t caused you any trouble.”

I slowly looked over at Leo and his face was red. He was embarrassed.

“She isn’t my girlfriend, Dad. Just a friend,” he said in a panic.

“You just show up out of nowhere with a girl, and I’m supposed to believe she’s just a friend?”

“YES!”

“Now, now dear.” his mom said, “I’m sure Leo and his—friend has had a long drive and is in need of a break.”

Leo’s dad lets out a disappointed sigh, “Yeah you’re right.” He quickly turns to Leo, “You can show her around yourself,” he said with a wink.

“Okay, but it’s not like that dad.” His face is still red.

“Sure sure.” Leo’s dad said with a smug expression.

I can’t help but let out a little giggle at their interaction. His parents were so nice—caring, even. It was odd. I couldn’t help but be a little jealous. As Leo gives me a house tour he apologizes for his parents’ behavior. I told him that it was fine and that it was nice to see something that funny in a time like this. Despite all the land they owned, their house wasn’t too big. They had three rooms, one for him, one for his parents, and a storage room. I told his parents that I was fine sleeping in the storage room or on the couch but they said I could sleep in Leo’s room. I looked over at Leo to see if it was okay, and he didn’t seem too bothered by it, so I accepted the offer. His room was huge. A couch, a mini-fridge, posters still hanging on the walls like nothing had changed. It felt weird — abnormal, even. Anyways, after settling down and resting for a while it was dinner time.

Their tone shifted, like they’d become completely different people. They got serious—it was kind of scary how quickly they could switch like that. They talked about the news and what he was planning to do. He said that he was planning to live what life he had left to the fullest. They asked me the same thing but I didn’t really have an answer for them. I just told them that I’d tag along with Leo. His parents warned us of the rising amounts of crimes since people are willing to do whatever they want now. We were already aware of those kinds of people, and I told them Leo had protected me from one. Their tone shifted again, they started to tease Leo. It was kind of nice seeing them tease Leo. I couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered face. After we ate, we went to bed. A week-long road trip was exhausting, so we both fell asleep quickly.

We stayed at his family’s farm for a while. Leo showed me around—it was fun. I got to meet the animals (the same ones we’d eventually eat), and he even taught me how to milk a cow. It was kind of weird, but hey, free milk. Leo showed me all the plants and grains. It was cool how they ran the whole operation. But more importantly, I got to see the lake. It was huge and they had boats we could ride in. I looked over at Leo, eyes pleading, silently begging him to let me take one of the boats out. Even the paddle boats would’ve been enough—I just wanted to get in the lake. It didn’t take much convincing—he let me ride a boat, and I was thrilled. I had always wanted to go to a beach, a lake, a pool—anything. And now, finally, I could.

There was also a small forest near their home with deer in it. He told me that he used to go hunting with his father. I asked him to teach me, he was hesitant at first… but after a little bit of begging, he caved. His parents had a hidden basement full of guns. Most of them were for hunting so we went there to grab some before heading out. It took us a while but we eventually found a deer. Prior to this, he had shown me how to shoot a gun, and now it was time to use that knowledge. I already knew what to do, but Leo wanted to demonstrate first—before letting me try it myself. He aimed his rifle at the deer but didn’t pull the trigger. I glanced over at him and noticed that his hands were trembling. He couldn’t kill the deer. I told him that if killing the deer was troubling him then he didn’t have to do it for my sake. He told me that it was fine and focused on the deer. He couldn’t do it. I asked him if I could just try and shoot the deer without him providing an example. He said sure and I was able to kill the deer with ease. I thought killing the deer would be harder. It just felt like a chore, something I had to do. We walked over to the deer and I asked him how I did. I knew I did well, but I still wanted a bit of praise from him. But he didn’t say anything. He froze while staring at the deer’s body. His expression was one of fear and anxiety. I asked Leo if he was okay… and he said yeah. We loaded the deer’s body into the trunk and headed home.

I guess I could still have fun—even at the end of the world. Throughout the days we would spend it either having fun in the lake or wandering around the farm and messing with the animals. It was fun. But even with all this fun, I still thought about my death. I was actually going to die. It was strange but it was a fact. A fact that kept me up some nights. Yes, I was having fun. But I didn’t want to die—at least, not yet. I wasn’t ready. Some nights, Leo would catch me breaking down over this thought. He would, of course, comfort me with reassuring words. But no matter what he’d say I couldn’t get this thought out of my mind. I tried to distract myself from this fact by trying to have fun but it’s hard to ignore something like this. I just wanted to live a normal life. Was that really too much to ask?

It's been 31 days since the news was announced. Crazy right? It had been a whole month. By then, I had stopped having fun at the farm... I was constantly reminded by the end of the world because of the farm. Yes, I was having fun. But death kept pulling at the edges. I wasn’t ready—not yet. Too young, too alive. Leo could see this in me and would try to find new things to do. He was like a bored child trying to find new games to play. I was grateful for what he was trying to accomplish but I wouldn’t budge.

I had noticed that Leo disappeared. He kept coming up with things for us to do, but I guess he got tired of it too. Still, I wandered around looking for him until I eventually bumped into his father.

“Have you seen Leo around?” I asked.

“He left not too long ago.”

“Oh…” I hesitated, disappointed. “Do you know where he went?”

“Uhm,” he was hesitant to answer.

Noticing his hesitation I said, “If it’s something personal then you don’t have to answer sir.”

“Oh no, it’s not that. It’s just that…” He took a deep breath. “Before I tell you… what are you to him?”

The question landed harder than I expected. What was I to Leo? His friend? Someone he had to save?

Caught off guard, I didn’t know how to answer, “Uhm, what do you mean by that?”

“I want to know your relationship before telling you this. I want to know if you could help.”

“I—I don’t know,” I admitted, voice low. “He’s been there for me when no one else was. I want to be there for him too… but I don’t even know why he cares so much.”

His father studied me for a moment, like he was trying to see through me.

“That’s honest. Maybe honest is what he needs right now. He’s at the cemetery. Take his car—I don’t want you walking all that way by yourself.”

“Why the cemetery?”

“It’s something he doesn’t talk about—but you might be able to reach him.”

I said bye to his father and made my way to the cemetery. I pull into the cemetery slowly, gravel crunching beneath the tires. I spot him almost immediately—alone, standing over a grave.

He turns when he hears me. His eyes are red and swollen. “Oh. It’s just you.”

“Yeah… Your dad said you might be here.”

I glance at the headstone. John. “Was he your friend?”

Leo doesn’t answer right away. When he speaks, his voice is low. “He was my best friend. But I don’t know if I deserve to call him that anymore. "Something in his voice cracks—guilt laced with grief.

“Did something happen between you two?” I know I’m prying, but his dad said I could help. I want to help.

Leo doesn’t look at me. “Yeah. I killed him.”

“Wait, what?”

“You heard me,” his voice was filled with shame.

“D-did you really?”

He didn’t answer me. I step closer. “Leo… what happened?”

He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

He turns to leave, but I reach out—gently—and grab his arm. He stops. Then suddenly, he drops to his knees. A soft thud on the grass. He breaks.

“He took a bullet for me!” he chokes out. “We were being robbed and I wasn’t willing to give up my money. They aimed their guns at me. He pushed me out of the way… and then he was just gone. Just like that. Gone.”

I kneel beside him, not saying anything at first. Just letting him cry.

When he calms, he says softly, “That’s why I couldn’t shoot the deer. Why I can’t even think about killing someone. Because I’ve seen what it looks like. The body. The blood. The eyes. I don’t want to be the reason that ever happens again.”

It makes sense now—why he can’t bring himself to kill. But there’s still one thing I don’t get.

I nod slowly. “You didn’t kill him though.”

He doesn’t respond.

“You didn’t pull the trigger. You didn’t ask him to die. He chose to save you. That was his decision. You’re not dishonoring him by surviving.”

“He should still be alive,” he whispers.

“And so should you. He died for a reason. You being here—it matters. You matter. Without you I would be dead right now.”

He finally looks at me. Really looks at me. “Thank you,” he says. His voice is weak, but steady. Sincere. He still seems troubled but he seems better.

“Let’s head back,” I said.

“Yeah.”

A shot cracks through the silence. Then another. And another. Not hunting—too fast, too close.

I glance at Leo. “That’s the farm,” I say.

His eyes go wide. “Are they being robbed?”