Empty

Lies and deceit. That’s all that it was in the end. Damn puppets, just objects to watch and to die. There was no thought to our wellbeing. No concern for our health or existence, so long as someone survived. And now not even that was possible. We’re just tossed aside. Shit.

What am I supposed to do? There was no point in what I did. The truth didn’t help me. Sure, it changed me, but all it changed was love into hate. So much burning, rage, like a torrent of flame endlessly fed. Nothing I could do would calm it. Just uncontrollable and spreading as ivy through every corner of my body.

I swear I could feel it under my skin crawling away. It itched and boiled. It wanted to sear my skin away. If I could rub it off me I would. No matter how much I scraped and scratched at my palms and arms it did nothing. It built deeper and deeper. I was infected.

A sudden loud crack pierced through my head like an arrow. It snapped me back. Back? I was in the camp? When did I? I looked around to see I was in the familiar tent of Heist. How much time passed?

Another deep crunch came from behind. What did I miss? Turning around I followed the noise with my eyes. It was some wooden sculpture that I had seen in his tent. He always had it on display. Praying to it, it must have been something related to his faith in Ministra. And now it was shattered into a half dozen chunks of wood with splinters and fragments dusting the table. I started to move towards him only for another breaking sound to recoil me.

The Commander’s eyes were aflame and intense like I had never witnessed. Even when he interrogated me they were never so wild. I stepped away. There was no connecting with that. He was consumed, possessed. And nothing would stop him.

In seconds what seemed like a lifetime of deeply personal possessions laid in ruin. The heaviness of his breath reached even me. I thought I might sink under its weight. It vibrated through me like he was some unearthly creature. Everything in me shook, his heat blew out anything that I had coursing through me.

I could only shake and slowly back away watching his primal fury being unleashed. He smashed every piece that seemed important to him, but that wasn’t enough. The table took his anger next as he rammed the broken chunks into it repeatedly. Each pounding echoed deeper into my body to my heart. I couldn’t stop myself from shivering as if it was winter and buried in snow.

All I could do was ask my feet to flee. I turned around and rushed out. I don’t think he noticed me, right? Please, don’t. My head tilted back a little anxious that the sound I heard was Heist. It wasn’t. But I also didn’t know what it was.

Then I slammed straight into a wall nearly falling over until it grabbed me. Huh? “Eshikra?” I looked up with clear eyes to see that it was Rothe. Confusion and worry covered his face as he looked down at me. We had worked so closely for the weeks into months, but I couldn’t remember him ever being this close to me. I felt flung out of my previous state all over again.

“Rothe! I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking.”

“You’re shaking. Is something wrong?” He shook his head. “No, of course. I’m sorry for asking such an obvious question. Do you need help?”

I slowly tried to nod to him. I didn’t want to get into it. The lies upon lies that kept stacking. How many times did I have to be burdened with until she was happy? Though I guess it wasn’t even her, was it. No, there wasn’t anyone. Just the mocking emptiness of the stars and beyond to laugh at me.

Dammit. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even mutter out a word for him. Everything felt so hollow.

Suddenly, warmth surrounded me. I gasped in shock, but I didn’t reject it. I didn’t push him away. My hands squeezed up in pain. It helped, but didn’t. All the fire returned. But it couldn’t go anywhere. It just spun about endlessly freezing everything in its path. I could only fall against him.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.

Time disappeared on me. Haze covered me once more. I just wanted to fall into the pit. Take me in whole and never give me up, please. I don’t want to return. Leave me behind, please.

And yet reality yanked back on me, like it had a rope tied around my waist. Rothe jerked back pulling me to snap me out. Shouting and yelling filled the distant camp spreading closer and closer. A bright light began to bake against my cheek. It shouldn’t be daylight anymore, night had fallen. I pulled towards it in curiosity.

My eyes widened to see Heist’s tent ablaze towering into the night air. Were they under attack? No, I couldn’t see anyone or hear the frightening familiar sounds of battle. It was something else. Did he? No. “Commander Heist!” I tugged on Rothe’s arms to get free. He could still be in the tent! “Rothe, we need to check on Heist! Rothe!”

He clung to my waist. I noticed some shaking from him. I turned back to see a pain expression slowly sweeping over his face. It was complicated and torn. What was he thinking? “Rothe? Let me go!”

Sharply, he whipped around putting himself between me and the fire. It had completely grown to take the whole tent. It looked more like a bonfire than a tent anymore. Please, don’t be in there! “What are you doing?”

“Eshikra, you need to leave.”

“What?! But the fire, there’s—“

“Eshikra!” he shouted, the struggling emotions fighting him. “Please. You’ve completed your mission. Return home. Be with your family. We’ll be fine. Focus on what’s important to you. That’s all anyone can do now.”

“Important?” He nodded and pushed me away, abandoning me. I stared at him as his eyes pleaded with me to just run away. He wished I would escape. This wasn’t where I belonged. This wasn’t safe anymore. The void just grew. It wanted more. It was a greedy thief desperate to claim everything and everyone in reach. It wasn’t going to stop until it claimed me too.

Rothe wanted me free.

I blinked, feeling tears starting down my cheeks as I fought. I took a step away and then another. Before I knew it was running, not even looking back. I went for an hour, maybe more until my body finally screamed too loud for me to ignore. I dropped to my knees finally catching myself.

Slowly turning, I braved a glance. I could only guess how far I went, but the inferno filled the night sky clearly. It had to have spread through half of the camp at the size. I hung my head down, unable to stop crying thinking about everyone back there. I just left. How could I do that? But he told me to. I shouldn’t have gone. What should I have done?

Ministra?

No, that was pointless. Why am I asking her? Stupid habit. I’m just alone.

Alone.

Everything faded from my mind with the rest of that night. I just gave myself over. I accepted the invitation and disappeared. It was peaceful, if not dull. Everything was still. But I didn’t need anything.

Then it all came to a stop. I looked up to see a smiling face at me. A young woman and man maybe a little older than me, maybe even married. I don’t know, but I hadn’t seen anyone with a warm glow about them in a long time. Since before the last prophecy. Why were they smiling? Where am I?

“Announcement! Good day, young miss! Do you need help?”

“Help?” I looked around thinking that maybe I ran across them in the Wastes or something. I had to be near the army, right? This wasn’t the Wastes at all. It was a village or town, I couldn’t really tell just from the view. Homes filled my sights with happy people walking cheerfully down the dirt road. Everyone just looked to be going about their day as if they didn’t even know their death was foretold.

Had no one told them? Where was their Pillar and Speaker? What’s happening here?