Let Me Feel the Wind |Day 41 After Virus Release|

Anneka

For the entirety of last night, I couldn’t hope to rest. I figured I would have a few minutes to doze after temporarily making an escape, but what good is that? That type of sleep will make you more restless and prone to fail. Instead, in the time that I lose the giant, I craft spears out of any metal scraps or old tools that will support modifications while dispatching the normal zombies that find me. The materials are gathered in all the buildings that I am running through and scavenging. I give it my all, sharpening and sculpting the tips of these spears so that they are barbed and heavy. Hour by hour, I’ve gotten a better grip on evading and losing this beast’s trail, but it always eventually finds me. The longest I’ve stayed away out of sight from it is one measly half hour. 

When we do meet, I take aim and propel a spear with all my muscles into one of the titan’s two arms before running and evading again out of sight. So far, I’ve given it three wounds. I know that the titan can’t feel pain, so it has no motivation to remove the spears from its body. They are very deep and wrested into the flesh like barbed arrows which are designed to make removal from the body destructive. I’ll use these spears on its body to dodge, swing on, and weave through when attacking its head in the final moment. The only way to win a fight against a monster is to create an environment that suits me. A plan created from its unrelenting strength. Turns out that even feeling no pain could give you a weakness. I continue with this course until the beast has eight spears in its skin making it look ridiculous. I would compare it to an ugly gruesome zombie porcupine with its numerous barbs sticking outward on its body. Maybe if it were more green I would call it a cactus.

Unexpectedly, this zombie has been readily adapting. I used to have 30-minute intervals, but that was the peak that I could not get back to. Now the period the monster takes to find me shortens with each time. I am on my eleventh spear throw, and as I am slightly staggered from sending the spear, postured down toward the ground from momentum. It returns a volley of rocks. This hasn’t happened before except at our first encounter. My battle instinct conveys the trajectory exactly, but in those few decisive seconds, I realize the vast difference between me and this nonhuman. The velocity of the rocks is undodgeable even with foresight. 

I crumble down to my knees. My entire left arm is gruesomely busted from hand to shoulder with broken bones and muscle. It feels limp and the only recognition it is alive is from the fierce pain. I force myself and my body to relax and retreat. I found a newfound parameter to put into the already dangerous equation of dealing with this monster. My mind is split on what is more dangerous. The claws or the instant projectiles. I think everything through once more dodging and ducking through buildings to get out of sight. Arm or not this changes nothing. Sitting on a counter, I maintain and modify every surface of my fire axe. Taking a collection of tools out of my bag along with every proper piece of metal I have been collecting and salvaging; I make my axe’s handle longer and two-handed, the blade heavier and two-sided. The process is unorthodox and exasturbated. Using only one arm is unwieldy. Lastly, I implement sharp metal at the top now, like a pike or spear, and it weighs five pounds more than the starting weight. A significant amount for axes. This will kill it. I can’t have doubt in my shining double-sided circular battle axe!

The second night is over with the flight of the sun over the fully dark city. I remember our map just well enough to head to a construction sight. I can’t run anymore. My time is about up. I spot the many pillars and corners I imagined using as cover, and it is here I can fight with the least collateral destruction to the city. Death is fast approaching, but if I let Lex die when he could be saved by my actions that would be greater than death. Infinite anguish that will come from me losing everything I’ve lived my life for and knowing the world would lose everything as well. EVERYTHING. I sold my soul for you, Lex, and will I walk through the path of darkness for you. It will be me who takes away life so that you can always follow your ideals and path. I just need you to live, you can leave this to me. It is time to let go of the final limiter on my battle instinct’s calculations. The preservation of my life. I’ll not dance to my death, however. A dance of death is a much better performance of art.

With exhilaration, I theatrically unbutton each of the holds on my black jacket. The battered piece served me well throughout this journey. Finally, I can draft up the wind in my sails. My free strands and wispy stripes of hair enjoy the prickly air and subtle intimacy in tune with my surroundings. It feels entirely different to not be stuck fighting with that stuffy accessory on. With just an undershirt on it is just like the good old days. Why would I need a jacket if it offers no protection? I can tell that any blow to my body is going to be lethal even if my jacket were worn. I might as well fight in a way where I can have the most fun. I warm up my body from my arms to my legs and take the medicine I’ve brought. It is designed to help me lose track of my exhaustion. Hopefully, it will do good for my arm as well. Of course, there are numerous delayed side effects. Not that I will be experiencing them. I grab the tiny wad of bandage I have left. I don’t believe it will do any good for my obscene red arm, so with a combination of duct tape, I just use it to wrap my left hand so tightly in contact with my axe’s handle that it hurts. I palm my right hand higher on the makeshift handle.

I glimpse the zombie titan far away on the horizon approaching. I’ve observed what you are now. A nonliving abomination being with no respect for human life. No, actually, all life. It is time that I stop thinking of you as human at all. There is almost certainly no way to turn you back. You are too far gone. I wonder if Fion had you in mind when he created the virus. You splotch of murder mutations. I focus my breath completely and close my eyes. My breath escapes in and out. Just this once, I might as well let my other inner voice enter my head. The one voice that likes to fight endlessly without giving me relief or acknowledgment for my actions. I keep it far away even when I use my battle instinct. I couldn’t have known, but I suppose it was preparing me to fight this eldritch beast. Even so, I still can’t excuse its evil. I snide. Fine, I’ll give you a slight pass. I can tell the voice and I both want to accomplish the same goal for once in the same way. We finally don’t have to think or want anymore. We just have to fight for our sake and the world’s. The only words in my head scream. My eyes only look forward. We’ll kill it. We’ll kill it! WE’LL KILL IT!