Part I - Summer (Late) - "We had a fight."

"Miyu, what made you decide to come to Crystal City in the first place?"

She was still stroking his hair. "What do you mean?"

"Going to school, all the way across the continent. So far from home. First time away from Lazumere. It's a pretty big life decision."

"It … was, yeah."

"I mean—so Elegia was headed off to Crystal City already, right? He'd decided that for a long time."

"Right …?" Not sure where this was going.

"So, what … You just decided to follow him all the way to Crystal City Academy? On a whim?"

"I wouldn't call it 'on a whim' …"

"Like a little sister, tagging along with big bro to the playground."

"Cameron, come on … You're making it sound like I was some little kid."

"You'd think you would have a pretty good idea what to study, before you left."

She stroked his hair. A little slower, now.

Cameron continued, "Crystal Engineering, eh? But then, you switched majors not even a few weeks into it. …"

"… Okay?"

"I never really stopped to wonder, how you got accepted in, with what must have been awful grades. You being completely lost in our lectures. Your one school in Lazumere must be pretty lenient in their marking, huh?"

She knocked lightly on his head. "My grades were just fine, thank you very much." Playfully, sure … but with the slightest hint of an edge creeping in now. "What is this, an interrogation about my academic history? … You're being kind of rude, Cameron."

"I mean, I'm just saying. You never really cared for crystal machines. Math and science. You told me as much. So, what, was it for the money? You wanted to get a good job building autowagons when you graduated? You wanted to design crystal rails? Yeah, I'm sure the priestess of Lazumere could juggle a full-time job in the City, with her duties in Lazumere."

She'd stopped stroking his hair, now. "… I don't understand what this is all about, all of a sudden. Cameron … Let's … take a break, okay? You're tired. The recovery's been hard on you."

"And all those things you wanted to do, in Crystal City. All the things you wanted to see—cherry blossoms, winter illuminations, the Underground … the Mother Crystal … Seems like kind of a specific checklist you needed to get through, huh?"

"Cameron …"

"Were you really doing all of this because you wanted to? Because you wanted to?"

She didn't say anything.

"… Was 'falling in love' part of that checklist too, Miyu?"

Silence.

"It could've been anyone, huh? That first day, when you were lost in front of the map of the schoolgrounds? I was just there, wasn't I? You were lost at school, and I was the first person to come along."

More silence.

"Were you doing any of this for yourself? … Or were you trying to fulfill someone else's dreams? … Someone who couldn't do it for themselves, any longer?"

He heard her breath catch.

"Was any of this what you wanted? …"

He felt a chill from her. A silent warning: Be very careful with your next words.

"… Or was it all for Archie?"

Cameron sat up, slowly. Their eyes met. Miyu, stone-faced. They stared at each other for a long time.

At last, she spoke. "… Cameron, please don't. … Just stop."

"… Tell me I'm wrong. That you weren't just trying to do all the things that he couldn't. That that's not the reason you came to Crystal City."

She didn't say anything.

"See? … You can't. Can you?"

She couldn't.

Of course she couldn't.

Miyu Nocturne, honest to a fault.

"You know, everyone keeps telling me how different you used to be. They won't let me forget it, no matter where I went, this summer. At first, I thought okay—so you used to be different. Gloomier, sadder—hey, maybe I'm just such a great guy, that I brought so much sunshine into your life, right? Ha. … Kidding, of course. Even I'm not that much of a narcissist. … But anyway, I shrugged it all off. Nothing more to me than a curiosity. So what if you were different? The girl I dated, the cheery, happy-go-lucky elf. The only Miyu I ever knew. The Miyu people knew now, different from the one they knew before. But then—I saw you, Miyu. You … and him."

At those words, a flicker of realization in her eyes.

"… There were two versions of you back then, weren't there? One that you hid away, even from the rest of Lazumere. One that you only ever showed him. The village knew you only as the cold, emotionless priestess, who existed only to serve. The private Miyu, the real you, locked inside. Only ever willing to show that part of you to him. I mean, even I don't know who Miyu Nocturne is. After all, I've never met her."

Her gaze turned cold. All but glaring at him now.

"… Well, you did a pretty good job, Miyu, maintaining this new mask for three entire years. For me. For everyone else in Lazumere … Hey, instead of a priestess, maybe you should've been an actress. Like in one of those Underground troupes. You'd be a fucking natural at it."

A very long silence between them.

When she spoke again, her voice was firm. Resolute. "Cameron, you don't have any idea what you're talking about. You never met Archie. You didn't know him. I don't know exactly what you saw, but a couple of random visions while you were out—"

And that's when he lost it.

"BUT I DO, MIYU! I DO KNOW HIM!"

Cameron slammed the floor with his palm.

"More than you could even imagine! You don't understand. These weren't random, unconnected snippets of the two of you together. No. No—I … was … there."

Another long silence.

"… I only spent a mere seven days in that coma, Miyu, but I was inside there for much, much longer. I was alongside you two for years. I saw—I lived—every single moment that took place between the two of you. If you two were there, so was I. … I saw a version of you I have never been witness to in all of our three years together. I saw the way you acted around the villagers: stoic, composed, emotionless. I saw the way you acted around him: a more relaxed version of the village priestess—a version of you only Archie knew. This was the real you. You knew it, he knew it. And now I know it.

"And after he was gone … You took his words to heart. About how he wanted everybody to see what a kind and wonderful person his Nee-chan was. But you didn't know how to do it, did you? You didn't know how to honor those words properly. And what emerged was a new Miyu, a false Miyu, whose mannerisms were ripped straight from Archie's personality. Because you don't actually know how to be cheery, to be happy. Everything you know, on how to put on a happy face, you took from your little brother. Even that trademark smugness of yours, which I'd always loved so much …"

Ohh, I get it. Little Cammy is a big scaredy-cat. …

Ohh, I get it. Nee-chan is a big scaredy-cat. She's too afraid to leave her comfort zone of the boonies! …

… Are you sure you don't have experience taking other girls up here? Hmm? Maybe you're a secret playboy all this time … Surely you won't lose me to a little boy, right? You'll fight for me, right?

… Ehh-hh? Is Nee-chan embarrassed? Ha ha ha! Maybe next time I'll ask you about this kind of stuff while we're in the Reliquary, in front of all the other priestesses!

"… Everything you ever said to me, not even from your own heart—but from the shadow of another's."

Miyu said nothing for a very long time.

And then, her jaw tightened, and then, to Cameron's surprise, her face contorted into a look he'd never seen on her, as she glared back at him, saying: "… And here I thought you didn't believe in that stuff."

It was then that Cameron realized that, in all their years together, he had never actually seen Miyu Nocturne angry before. Not truly. And as such, he had no idea, until now, what it looked like.

It was Miyu's turn on the offensive now. "You hate this stuff, Cameron. Admit it. You hate it when I talk about being the avatar. Actually, even worse than hate—you think you're above it all. I see those looks on your face. Every time we talk about Princess Aerya, it's like you're looking down on us. Looking down on me. 'Those quaint little elves, look at them and their primitive beliefs.' No, not you, mister man of science, mister crystal machines. So much more enlightened than us backwoods elves, right?"

"Th-that's not …"

"I mean, you left the Reliquary, for good, only two days after Observance began! You never came back! Except to … drink our sacred brew to try and get a buzz! No, don't look at me like that. Don't even try to deny it. … You left after two days, like you couldn't stand to be around all of it! And you know what the worst thing is? I … wanted you to see me, Cameron. You talk about the real me, but me, in those robes, guiding the souls to where they need to go, helping others deal with their grief … That is me. And I wanted you to see me.

"That day in the glade—Cameron, I showed you our secret place. You clearly don't realize what that means. Nobody else has been there. Ever. It was for me and Archie alone. That means I trusted you enough, I loved you enough to invite you in. I told you about him there, and you looked like you could hardly wait to leave the entire time. You didn't ask a single question. You didn't want to know more. That day—it's like none of it meant anything to you. Not even Elegia had been there. And I thought, you were important enough, special enough to me, to take up there. And maybe that Archie would be happy with that, if it was you. … But maybe I was wrong."

Both of them said nothing for a while.

Cameron had been sitting on the floor now, for some time. His still-weak legs had given out.

Miyu sat down now, across from him. Both of them exhausted.

Miyu, looking at the floor: "So … Is this it?"

She was talking around it, but he knew what she meant.

He sighed. "No, of course not. Miyu, I still love you. … I love you, and I want to grow old with you. … I want to have several kids with you, and live in a big house, and get a good job so I can provide for our family."

At which Miyu looked up from the floor, slowly, to meet his gaze.

"Cameron," she said. "The priestess of Lazumere isn't allowed to have children."

He stared back at her. "… What are you talking about?"

"The avatar is not allowed offspring of her own. She embodies Princess Aerya, and is her vessel. She cannot risk another body inhabiting the same vessel."

Cameron's head spun. "… You're choosing your faith over me. … Over a family with me."

Miyu's face grew severe. "No. Cameron. I mean, I physically can't bear children. 'The Rite of Crystallization', when I was young. … They made sure I can't."