First Day

Another early morning, I talked with Emil, drank coffee, and cooked breakfast. But today… I’m finally going to school, trying to be someone who belongs. I waited for Aeter in the living room, thinking I hadn’t seen Ruri, so there was only Emil, who woke up early. I lay on the sofa, waiting…

“Yo.” The shadow of a girl… or maybe it was her face, hidden by the light above me. “Who’s that?” I replied. “We haven’t seen each other for one day, and you already forgot me?” she said, half-joking—but her eyes were searching the seat across from me. “Why’d you skip school?” she added, raising an eyebrow.

I pushed myself to sit. “Yesterday, I think I trained too much, and it’s because of fatigue.” “Heh, but I heard you still train with Aeter in the evening.” Ruri crossed her legs, waiting for my answer. “Yeah, it was just light training. I still don’t fully get what you meant by accepting my weakness. I notice I’m not perfect, but knowing that doesn’t change anything.”

Emil walked toward us. “Here’s your breakfast, Ruri.” I glanced at her momentarily; seeing her perfect image made me wonder about her weakness. Is there any? How did she overcome it? “Wait, Emil-Senpai… how did you accept weakness to cast a spell by hand? And what is yours? How can I adapt to my—“Hold on—can you ask one question at a time?” Emil interrupts.

“Your weakness?” I asked. She stopped and thought with her usual smile.“It’s not always clear. Sometimes, it’s fear. Sometimes, it’s a shame. But there’s always something buried deep… Why don’t you ask Aeter to help with this?” “I-I don’t know…” My body felt heavy. I wanted to sit on the sofa and think—my energy was fading fast. The only thing that came to mind… was the period when we became Ashfall. “Take your time—it's okay. We’re here to help, so don’t worry.” Emil added. I smiled at her, a forced one.

Footsteps echoed down the stairs. Aeter appeared; our eyes met. She gave me a quick signal to head outside. “Aeter, why don’t you teach him to overcome his weakness?” Ruri asked. “It’s something he has to figure out on his own… And it’s only been a few days—don’t rush him.” Aeter replied. She told me yesterday, but I don’t understand the concept. It’s weird because she told me she could help with everything except this…

“Yeah, let’s take it easy, and… let’s go to school,” I said and stood. Unfortunately, I lied about taking the practice easy. I’ve been thinking about it day and night, trying to master it. If I even catch a glimpse of understanding, I’ll stretch time itself to hold onto it.

“Both of you can go. I have to finish my lunch,” Emil said. “W-What? Why did I never hear of that?” “Cause I’m not gonna cook for an absent student who skips school, so you and Aeter are unqualified.” I stared at Aeter… I wanted it too… She chose to ignore it. The message wasn’t received.

“I head to school then,” I said, grabbing my stuff from the dorm. A feeling surged in me. I wanted to prove myself. I didn’t want to disappoint. I wasn’t worthy of asking anything from them… not yet… Time is on my side; the matter now is what I do with it.

“They’re leaving,” Emil said, picking up the plate. “Ruri, you’re gonna let her take your student like that?” She added. “He’s choosing to be with her. It has nothing to do with me. He’s with one of the best mages in our school. My part is already over.”

“Bruw, is that what you truly mean?” Ruri stared through the door, taking a sip of coffee. It’s a strange trait—even for a Dragonkin. “We’re just crazy about new guys at first, but at some point, the hype fades… it just happens early,” Ruri replied. “I prefer the straightforward Ruri.”

“I’m telling you how I feel.”

“Then why don’t you tell him? He’ll be suspended for good if he can’t cast by hand in the first year. If you won’t teach him, Aeter will. And I don’t think there is anyone better than you.”

“That only happens when he keeps rejecting the weaker parts of himself. He’s afraid of being rejected and ignored. But if he overcomes that silence…” Emil, frustrated, clenches her fist but has to accept it.

*

At some point, you have to go back to reality. And that’s school for me. First time walking toward the spiral infrastructure. Excited? Admitted? Neither, more anxiety. Unfamiliar streets. An uneasy mind. Fantastic day, isn’t it? I glanced at Aether. So relaxed, trying to act like her, but it’s unnatural. She glanced back, I snapped back from my train of thought. “Stop sneaking and staring at me. What do you want? Just say it.”

“I’m nervous and thinking about how my classmate would act for a two-day straight absence.”

“They won’t care. You’re just another face to them.”

“Yeah…” I look down at the ground. What’s this feeling? I want to connect with them…But it feels like I’ve already lost my chance. A hand came into my sight. Aeter held out her hand. “Want to hold my hand?” She said with her usual blank expression. “I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Suit yourself.” My neck burned, and my brain stalled, refusing to accept the moment. And it hurt—deep in my chest because some part of me regretted it. I wasn’t worth it. Not yet. Not until I proved something. But she was here. And I wanted to reach for her. “Wait, I needed that,” I said, lifting my hand toward her. “You already lost your chance.” My steps slowed. Aeter kept walking. My hand was still raised. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her hand. It was that I didn’t believe I deserved it.

The reason… Was it embarrassment? Or was it because I felt like I didn’t deserve it? That’s… new. I probably should’ve thought before saying anything. Do I care too much about what other people think? How will they see me, holding her hand? How will they react when I walk into the classroom?

In front of me. The Veltryssian Academy ascended in quiet grandeur. Surrounded by towering white marble, trees, shrubs, and climbing vines, layered like a monument. I could feel the pressure radiating from the buildings, like they were speaking to me… “We go different ways from here,” Aeter said. A bit lonely… but that's how it should be when you come here. It’s just lucky to meet a kind person. I started walking. “If you don’t have anyone to eat lunch with… just come find me.” She added. “Sure.”

This place is different from anything else I have seen. The whole place overwhelmed me. Each step felt overthought. Slow. Like I was trying not to look dumb—and failing. Waterfalls cascaded down the cliffs, and small animals moved through the trees alongside the road. Therefore, a woman in robes I hadn’t seen before stopped me. “Finally decided to attend school?” Assuming she was one of the teachers. “Sorry for making you worry. I was lost yesterday.”

“Yeah, it must be so hard to find a school in a massive structure like this—right in the heart of the city,” she said, her furrowed brow clashing with her sarcasm. “Anyway, I’m Thalia, your classroom teacher. Follow me, you need to introduce yourself to your classmates.”

I followed her through a hall. The building was ancient yet well cared for. White brick and marble showed no signs of crumbling, a quiet tribute to the convenience of magic. The small animals gather around the warm area. We reached the auditorium. Students shuffled back to their seats with only a glance from Thalia. “Yeah, as you know, we had a new student who got lost yesterday,” Thalia said.

Huge blackboard with a strained glass window and a wooden theater-like setting. The windows let in light by color contrast to a response—their chuckles mixed with a few soft giggles. “Stop. Let him introduce himself.” Thalia said.

The first day of school… Maybe I was expecting too much—a warm welcome? They’re nothing like the ones I’ve met. Opened up to me. “I’m Auron.” The giggles and chuckles continued. One guy raised his hand. “Where’d you come from—Rustic?” Laughter exploded across the room. I hid my nervousness, chuckling along. Why did I ever care about those who never gave me a chance? I’ve already found the ones willing to open up to me. And for their judgment? Not anymore. “... Ashfall,” I said. Silence, sometimes scary. But now it doesn’t matter.