Agreement

Erinara

Quite some time passed with neither of us saying anything, much less moving at all.
To an outsider, this scene would look tranquil and serene.
In reality, however, both Jin and I were desperately trying to force ourselves to regain control of our thoughts.

We seemed to finally conquer our minds and turned our heads to look at each other at the same time.
Once my gaze met his green eyes, a surge of emotions immediately resurfaced within me.
‘This is too much’, I thought, while simultaneously finding it absolutely impossible to avert my eyes.
Instead of finally speaking up, which was what I had been gathering strength to do the entire time, I found myself captivated by the knight in front of me again.
Images began rushing through my mind once more. The blush covering my face grew hotter. 
Any moment now, I’d fully lose myself to the enticing delusions.

Before that happened, Jin finally managed to break the silence:
“Sorry, Erinara”, hearing him say my name made me startle slightly, “I really did not want to run you over like that, uhm, metaphorically and literally”, a slight sound of amusement was hidden in his voice, although it was massively overshadowed by a tone of uncertainty and tentative worry. Jin really hadn't progressed much further in his decision-making than me it appeared. Even then, somehow the sound of his voice had helped me return to reality just a bit.
“I hope you are alright”, he added.
“I… think I am as all right as I can be”, I replied.
One part of my brain was telling me to ask him about the emotions running rampant within me, wanting nothing more than to ask him if he felt the same. The other, louder part of my internal voice was screaming that this was not the correct option currently. I froze, unable to formulate a sentence.
Jin had apparently picked up on that. He forced himself out of the laid down position to sit upright. His breathing was still uneven. I hadn’t seen him out of breath even once in combat, barring this last instance at least. 

He was clearly straining himself to try to come up with something to say.
“Can I be of assistance to you?”
Neither of us were in any shape to be of assistance to the other currently. I was, however, impressed, and slightly enamored, by his determination.
Seeing him trying to help me sharpened my own resolve.
The first thought that had popped up in my head was, in some way, requiring his assistance after all. Though I could hardly request to get that close to his face. The visual of that thought alone sent a fresh tint of pink to cover my cheeks.

I noticed an ever so slight shivering movement in his muscles, a seemingly uncomfortable tension ran through them.
Taking a shaky, deep breath, I rose to my feet.
“No, that’s quite alright. Thank you.”

‘Ah screw it’, I thought, it appeared that at long last, my signature calculating cold logic had returned partially, ‘we won’t do each other any good by just exchanging pleasantries. We need a system to abide by.’
“Hey, listen…”, I began. Simultaneously, Jin said: “So, about what’s going on…”
We stared at each in disbelief. Before Jin managed to open his mouth, I said:
“You go first, I’m in no rush.”
For a moment it looked like he wanted to object, but he either thought better of it or decided to not make this conversation even more complicated.

“Right”, he stood up as well, steadying himself, “I can’t lie and say that this interaction hasn’t changed something in me fundamentally, but at the same time I would like to propose giving it a few days, so that both of us can process what is going on.”
I broke into quiet laughter.
Jin looked at me with worry inscribed in his eyes.
“No, no, don’t worry. It’s just”, I paused in between short bouts of laughter, “I was going to say the exact same thing. Decisions made in the heat of a moment aren’t necessarily good, they tend to be woven with uncertainties that are simply tossed to the side, patiently waiting to resurface later”, I paused once again, my voice growing steady and slightly anxious, “I take it you also… uhm… felt something of a connection?”
Jin looked at me sheepishly. His answer was very slow to come out, I almost wondered if I had even asked a question in the first place due to the time it took for him to speak.
“Very much so, yes.”

It took all my might to resist the heavy urge to wrap my arms around him. Emotions started fighting against the very agreement we made just a second ago.
I just wanted to be closer to him, in any way possible.

With the prospect of similar emotions confirmed, I suddenly grew extremely conscious of my appearance. Even if Jin didn’t see me as an omen, would my physical omen traits be off-putting? I knew that he wouldn’t be someone to care, but the seed of worry had taken root in its own corner in my mind.

“How about this then. We continue with training for the next few days, and then take it from there?”, he asked. A sense of longing was carried in his voice. Instead of being subtle and hidden like when he talked before, this time it sounded clear and full of hope. He seemed to notice that slight slip up as well, as he quickly covered his mouth with his hand, as if that could change the tone of the last sentence he spoke.

Suddenly, the warm sensation from a couple minutes ago had returned for a moment. My entire body seemed to briefly be relieved of my usual coldness.
“That sounds like a great idea”, I agreed.

For the next four days, we simply returned to training Jin in runic magic. The teaching entailed a mixture of theoretic knowledge being taught by me, as well as practical training in the form of sparring matches that did not end in tackles. 

One thing didn’t change however. The feeling I got whenever I was close to Jin, or when I noticed him trying to steal a glance at me while creating runes to study or research. Not that I would deny that I was trying to look at him as much as I possibly could either.
Every moment spent together amplified the love I had realized I felt for him.
The moments apart only made me want to be near him all the more.

Finally, at the dawn of the fifth day I decided that my patience had reached its end. I made up my mind to talk to Jin today. I wanted to take the leap of faith.
My heart had long stopped being undecided.
In full honesty, I think it had ever since the end of the first sparring match, if not earlier still. Even though I agreed that taking some time to figure out the maelstrom of this new emotion was the right motion, the time for the next step had come.

As fate would have it, it appeared that Jin had come to the same conclusion.
Today was the day this situation would resolve itself in one way or another.