Hopefully, your memories linger

Forty hours until rescue ship arrival

"Do you know what my earliest memory is?" I asked. "It's of Nova and I... trying to bake a cake. I know it's silly. Considering everything that happened over the past year, that's the memory that comes to mind. Maybe... maybe that's when it first felt real to me, you know? Since we're at the end, it's only natural to think of the beginning.

"It was a year after Father Alcor took us in. I think we were about five at the time. You see, I have no memory of my birth parents. Not who they are nor what they look like. I could've walked past them every day without knowing it. For as long as I've known, it's only been me... and Nova." I wiped the tear away with a sniff.

"Now, on that day so many years ago, we were trying to bake a cake. Somebody told us, I don't remember who, that it was Father Alcor's birthday. We wanted to surprise him. We were kids, so when we heard `birthday' we heard `cake'. All birthdays have cake. How can you have a birthday without cake?

"Father Alcor, well, he didn't care as much for cake. He was as big a grouch back then as he is today. Nova and I knew he would dismiss the idea if we brought it up. So we planned everything in secret. Every night, we brainstormed ideas for the ‘biggest, bestest birthday cake ever'." I tried to mimic my younger voice. "We would draw pictures of cakes bigger than the domes, decorated with everything we could think of. Candles, stars, glitter... you name it. I think we even added some pizza slices to the cake. Nova always loved pizza.

"So on Father Alcor's birthday, Nova and I set to work. We waited until Father Alcor left before attacking his kitchen. Neither of us could read, so we weren't sure how to bake a cake, but we watched some videos. It looked easy. You only had to mix some stuff in a bowl and put it in the oven, right? Easy. Luckily, we never got as far as the oven. We might have burned the house down if we did.

"But the mess we made." My voice hitched with a chuckle. "We covered the kitchen in filth. There was even cake mix dripping down from the ceiling. Not to mention us. Nova and I looked like slimy, goop-colored ghosts when Father Alcor came home. Oh, his look was priceless. You could see his courage falter every second he stared at the kitchen. Nova and I, well, we didn't know what to expect.

"Father Alcor didn't scold us. He rushed us to the bath and gave us a good scrubbing. He led us to the living room after that. ‘This is it,' Nova and I thought as Father Alcor stepped out. He would call somebody to take us away. Nova and I would return to the streets without a place to call home. All because we wanted to treat our guardian. But do you know what Father Alcor did? He came back. He didn't smile. Father Alcor never smiled unless it was to impress a lady friend, but he carried something with him. Three plates. And do you know what was on those three plates? A single slice of cake. One for each of us.

"I think..." I clenched my eyes to block the tears. "I think that was the first time I understood what it meant to be part of a family. That there are people who won't throw you away because of something you can't remember. People who would do their best to care for and protect you. Oh, there were times when Father Alcor scolded us. He was never shy to do so when we screwed up. But I knew I would be safe with him and Nova by my side. I knew that no matter what happened, they would be there for me.

"So, that's why... that's why this hurts so much.” I stayed quiet for a few seconds. "I've lost something. Something I'll never be able to regain no matter what I do. Even if the rescue ships arrive tomorrow and they give us all nice and comfy homes. Even if they invent some magical weapon to kill every demon, it will be without my brother. Without a part of my family. I know there's a good chance you don't understand. And I know it's odd that you're the first one I've come to after everything that's happened. I've even connected despite the dull pains echoing throughout my body. I know the sting of death will dull as time passes, but Cerviel, right now, this hurts."

Cerviel didn't answer. I didn't expect her to. What would she say? That she understood? I would laugh sarcastically at such a comment.

I wasn't sure why I came here. Both Mira and Father Alcor would offer more comfort. And they tried. I saw the tears through their visors. I knew their hearts ached as much as mine did. Yet, they still made an effort to talk to me. I did nothing other than sit there like a zombie, staring vacantly in their eyes as they tried to comfort me. Words like `it wasn't your fault' and `you did your best' were spoken endlessly. I was sick of hearing it. I've heard similar words since the war against the demons broke out.

No. Long ago, I read that people deal with grief in different ways. Some get angry and want to fight the world to fix their loss. Others sought comfort in those close to them. The third group sought solitude as they worked through their emotions. I was part of this group. Cerviel wasn’t my intended destination. I merely wished to be away from everybody. I was still upset at her for having overwritten my commands, even if she was right to do so. Yet I found myself standing beside her after an hour of aimless wandering.

Maybe that's why I came here. Cerviel wouldn't try to console me. She wouldn't try to make me feel better. She would listen to my pain and file it away in her data banks. Or maybe her advanced reasoning would classify me as unsound of mind and make her override more of my commands.

"But, thanks for listening, I guess." I blew out a breath.

"You are welcome, pilot Vega."

"Father Alcor always said talking to yourself helps. I guess this is an advanced version of that."

"Yes, pilot Vega."

Fatigue started to set it. I wouldn't be surprised if I nodded off. Doing so while connected to Cerviel wouldn't be wise. Even with a low neural load, I'd still wake up with a headache.

Through the visor, I saw several people wandering through the remaining domes. There was no hurry. Their movements seemingly had no purpose other than to stretch their legs until the power turned on. Maybe they were part of the competition. I heard of one where people compared the most interesting things they could scavenge. Anything to pass the time, I guess.

Or maybe it was to stay sane. The loss of the Command Center cut off all long-range communications. There would be no way to tell the rescue ships we're still alive. The promise that they would arrive in two days was all we had. The Overseer did send a message before we activated the Eclipse Protocol. The reactor blew up before he received a response. We could only hope that they got the message. I only hoped that nobody would do anything desperate. Hope can only take you so far before fear and anxiety set in.

My earpiece gave the tingle of an incoming call.

"Vega? This is Engineer Bootes. Are you there?"

"Go ahead, Bootes."

"How are you feeling? Any side effects from the previous fight?"

Don't be mean, Vega. He's only doing his job. I cleared my throat to hide the thought. "Headache. Several dull pains and my movements are still somewhat sluggish, but I'll live."

"I am glad to hear it." He paused.

I would have chuckled if I were in a better mental state. His pause was a familiar one. I don't know what process Command's team used to determine their leader, but Bootes had won. His call meant he wanted to ask something but he didn't quite know how to approach the situation.

"Give it to me straight, Bootes." I decided to help him along. "What do you need?"

"Yes. Eh, where are you now?'

"I'm with Cerviel."

"With... ah. That's good news. What are her current power levels?'

"Primary power is hovering around seventy percent," I said. "Auxiliary power is full. Why do you ask?"

"As you probably know, we've lost long-range scanning capabilities when the Command Center exploded. We won't be able to communicate with the rescue ships when they arrive."

If they arrive.

"We're also at risk if the demons attack again. I've discussed this problem with the other engineers. We believe Cerviel's long-range radar can fix this gap. Nova did something similar when Seir teleported him away."

"Nova burned out Valoel's antenna when he performed his scan."

"Nova redirected as much energy as possible into Valoel's antenna to determine the enemy forces. We don't need that much power. We only need to scan the imminent vicinity."

"Cerviel? Can you do it?" I asked.

"I am capable of performing this function. I can relay any information to your and engineer Bootes' displays."

"That would help a lot. Thank you," said Bootes.

"Communicating with the research ships is one thing, but what are you planning on doing if the demons attack again?" I asked. "Do you have a contingency for that?"

"To hide," Bootes answered. "That's all we can do at this stage."