Story - III

I felt pressure being applied to my throat, and immediately jolted awake.

The smell of blood. Damp earth.

I opened my eyes in a cold sweat.

“Calm down. You’ll be okay.”

It was nighttime. I couldn’t exactly make out the face of the person speaking, but I knew that gentle voice all too well. Romka. She was the one who had taken me here from the altar, and now I seemed to be sitting against a tree in the woods.

She was wrapping something around my throat, probably to keep me from losing blood. I still had an uneasy feeling when she touched it.

“Why…did you do that?” I asked in a low voice.

She didn’t respond. The hands tending to my wound were a bit shaky.

“Is the ritual ruined now? What’ll happen to us?”

Still, she said nothing.

“Romka…why?”

She finally paused, her hands resting against the bandage.

“...I just couldn’t bear it.”

I didn’t understand, so I waited for her to explain.

“How could salvation…require the death of a child?”

I tilted my head in confusion.

“How else can we reach it?”

She seemed a little surprised by my question. Slowly, she raised her hand and placed it on my cheek.

“Do you really believe it, Midas? That your death meant salvation for everyone?”

Her hand was cold. It was nothing like the warmth I’d known from her.

“Why was it you?” she asked. “You didn’t choose to be a vessel. But they made you believe you had to be.”

She lowered her hand.

“...We made you believe.”

My eyes widened. I didn’t respond. There was nothing to respond with.

Romka raised her hands once more and placed them on my shoulders.

“There was so much more you wanted to do, right…?” she said. “You were asking me about the outside world. You want to go there, don’t you?”

She wasn’t wrong. And I was too honest to lie.

“I…was thinking about it on the altar…” I muttered.

It was dark, but I could see her frown and discern the pain in her eyes.

Seconds of silence passed. She held her expression.

And then slowly, she spoke.

“I’m sorry…”

I raised my eyebrows.

“...Why are you sorry?”

All of a sudden, she pulled me closer. She then wrapped her arms around me.

She was embracing me.

Had anyone ever held me like this before?

“You didn’t deserve this life,” she said. “I should’ve done something sooner.”
How was I supposed to act?

“All I could do was comfort you with cheap words. I’m truly, truly sorry, Midas. I don’t know what I was thinking. You can put all of the blame on me. I’m a terrible person.”

For some reason, her words stung. I didn’t want to hear them.

So I gently held her arm.

“...I don’t think you did anything wrong,” I said.

She pulled back and looked at me with worried eyes. Then, they changed into ones of pity.

“If only you knew…if only you could understand.”

“...I don’t understand?”

There was a pause.

Romka seemed to want to say more, but she just laughed under her breath.

“It’s fine. You shouldn’t worry about anything right now.”

She was smiling again.

Good.

Suddenly, in the distance, I could see a light. Romka quickly noticed it too.

“They’ll find us if we stay here any longer,” she whispered. “Do you think you can walk? I don’t think your injuries are that bad. You probably lost consciousness before because of stress, not the cut on your neck.”

I steadily rose from the tree I was resting on.

“Yeah…I can walk.”

“Right,” she said, taking my hand and smiling. “Let’s go. Be careful.”

We trudged through the grass and mud of the woods we were in, gradually picking up our pace. I didn’t know why, but I wasn’t scared. It could’ve been because I had just been at death’s door, or simply because I was with her.

But it didn’t really matter, I suppose.

We ran for several minutes until we lost our pursuers, and then we found a new little spot to settle at.

Romka sat me down once again and wiped dirt from my arms and legs. She checked my bandage to make sure it was still intact.

“Do you feel okay? Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“I’m okay,” I said.

She gave me a gentle grin and then sat down against a tree next to me, removing her hood and letting her hair flow.

“...What are we going to do now?” I asked.

She looked up.

“Well, there’s a train station nearby. You’ve never been on one of those before, right? It’ll be exciting. I have an old friend who lives close, so we can probably meet up with him and get his help.”

“An old friend?”

“His name is Siel Malric. I knew him from before I joined the cult.”

“Oh.”

There was moonlight dripping down through the leaves above. It allowed me to see her face.

She really was beautiful. Her long eyelashes, her dark brown hair and eyes.

“Why are you staring at me?”

I must’ve looked for too long.

“...I always thought you had really pretty hair,” I said.

Her eyes lit up.

“Aww, look at you being all bashful!” she teased as she pinched me on the cheek. “You’re so cute!”

A smile crept out before I could stop it.

“It wasn’t always brown,” she added. “I dye it every now and then.”

“Oh.”

A silence fell between us. Romka then turned towards me.

“Are you tired? You can sleep if you want.”

I shook my head. In truth, however, I was actually quite exhausted. It didn’t take long for me to let my guard down.

Romka seemed to have noticed. She placed her arms around me and gave me a gentle hug.

Then I just fell asleep. It had never been easier.

***

During my slumber, there was a certain dream I had.

I was alone, sprinting through the woods. My heart was beating incredibly fast.

In the distance, I saw something—a train.

I rushed towards it as if I was late to something.

That was it.

***

“Wake up! Midas, wake up!”

I quickly sprang up.

“...Huh? What?”

Footsteps. I could hear them.

“They’re close. I don’t know how they found us so fast, but we need to go,” Romka said, helping me up.

“How long was I asleep for?” I asked.

“Not long at all. I just wanted you to get some rest, but I think it’ll have to wait. Sorry.”

She dragged me along and we once again ran through the woods as fast as we could. Every time I looked back, I could see the disoriented flickers of flashlights.

“We’ll be okay. You don’t have to look back,” Romka said.

But I still kept looking. The lights…they seemed to be getting closer.

I knew it. I was slowing her down.

“We have to go faster,” I said.

She didn’t respond, and we just kept running. We were both out of breath, but we couldn’t stop. Our footsteps were heavy on the roots and mud below us.

I suddenly felt an urge to look back for a second time.

I knew I shouldn’t have.

But I did. And that’s when I saw it.

Lights. Pointed directly at us.

Then we heard a shout.

“It’s Romka! She’s with the vessel!”

Romka looked back too, and her face was full of distress.

Gradually, her pace slowed. I glanced at her.

“What are you doing?! We have to run!” I exclaimed.

She reached in her pocket and took out a sharp metallic object—a knife. Then she looked at me.

“The train station is east of here. Just follow the sun. It’s rising as we speak.”

“Romka, what—”

She patted me on the head, giving me a pained smile.

“You have to go by yourself. I’m sorry, but I can’t come with you.”

“No, we have to run! We can make it!”

She looked at me with regretful eyes, as if she wished such a reality was possible.

“I…”

She started to speak, but stopped herself. Her lips pressed into a line.

“Thank you, Midas. You have to run now,” she uttered.

“What? I-I can’t…”

Romka clenched her knife in hand. She gazed at our pursuers.

And with a deep breath, she ran towards them.

“Wait! Don’t go!”

“Leave, please!” she yelled without looking back.

My body wouldn’t move. She wanted me to run…but I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with her!

I saw with widened eyes as she rushed in, stabbing one of the cultists with her knife.

“Curse you, woman!”

The others grabbed her and threw her on the ground, and then took out blades of their own.

“Run, Midas!” she yelled. “You have to go!”

I couldn't move. I really couldn’t.

But then all of a sudden, I did.

…What?

Without a word, I turned around and ran in the other direction, following the sun and going east.

What’s happening…?

My body wasn’t responding to me. It was as if some other entity had taken control of it.

I can’t go! I can’t! I can’t leave her behind!

It wouldn’t listen. I used every ounce of my willpower to hold myself back, but it was futile.

I heard shrieks in the distance. The painful sounds echoed throughout the woods.

And yet…I couldn’t do anything but run.

I ran, and ran, and ran.

I didn’t want to! I truly didn’t!

But I still ran.

Stop! Please!

No matter what I did, my body moved east. I must’ve begged it to stop for minutes on end.

And at last, as I reached the end of the woods, I saw something in the distance.

A train. A train station.

I rushed towards it, ignoring the pleas of my own soul.

Why…

There was a sharp pain in my chest. I’d never felt anything like it before.

Why couldn’t I just die with her…?

I was supposed to die anyway, so why…?

My legs continued to move. They had finally reached the train, and I was about to board.

Please, let me die…

Please!

My vision had become blurry. I felt something wet running down my cheeks.

I hadn’t realized, but I was crying.

I boarded the train and sat down on one of the cracked vinyl seats.

My tears wouldn’t stop. I could still recognize Romka’s scent on me. Her gentle smile kept flashing in my mind.

Why must I live?

Was death too kind for me?

Is this my punishment?

Please…tell me!

Why couldn’t I die with her?!

I continued to entreat, but I didn’t even know…

Who was it that I was talking to?

Was it the Devil?

Was he the one?

It had to have been…

Nobody else could’ve cursed me in such a way!

I was a vessel. The Devil had taken control of me.

That was the only explanation.

My tears suddenly stopped flowing. I had another vision.

Then I subconsciously uttered something under my breath.

“Siel Malric…”

I remembered Romka’s words.

“I have an old friend who lives close…his name is Siel Malric.”

The Devil was planning on finding him. I was sure of it.

Now, slowly, I regained my free will.

I looked out of the window beside me.

This was the first time I’d ever been on a train. Romka was the one who guided me to it.

I missed her so. My heart ached every time I thought of her. The scent on my clothes, and her tender smile…they wouldn’t go away.

I truly wish I had just died with her.

But now…I was sharing my body with the Devil.

This is how I’d have to live. I didn’t know if I could accept it.

I didn’t have a choice though, did I?

I would soon understand something, however.

There might’ve been a chance…

Perhaps…

It was a possibility…

Perhaps he and I were one and the same.

Just maybe.

I couldn’t help but curse myself.

***

I sat on the edge of the balcony, gazing up at the clear blue sky.

What a normal life this was.

I slowly closed my eyes, letting the sunlight seep through my lashes like threads of gold.

Then—I saw it.

I was lying on the ground, agony pulsing through my abdomen.

I looked around. Trees swayed overhead. Grass brushed against my skin. Blood pooled beneath me, staining the dirt a murky red color.

I couldn’t take any more. My eyes snapped open, and a thin layer of sweat covered my skin.

Oh…

I realized.

There was always…so much to think about.