Chapter 7: The Case of the Missing Mandate

The immediate aftermath of Director Phthogg's spectacular downfall was, predictably, chaotic. The Department of Extradimensional Affairs, already a monument to bureaucratic inefficiency, descended into a state of near-total paralysis. Rumors flew faster than improperly filed interdimensional travel requests. Lower-level employees, sensing a power vacuum, began engaging in petty turf wars over office supplies and preferred coffee blends. The extradimensional entities awaiting processing in the lobby, understandably confused, started filing formal complaints (in triplicate, naturally).

Corvus, Rivet, and Umbral found themselves thrust into the unlikely role of interim management, tasked with restoring order to a system that seemed determined to self-destruct. It was, Corvus reflected, a lot like trying to herd cats while simultaneously defusing a bomb made of paperwork.

"We need a plan," Corvus said, surveying the scene of pandemonium from the Director's (now former Director's) office. The velvet upholstery suddenly seemed a lot less comfortable. "We can't take on the entire Bureaucratic Elite at once. We need to prioritize."

"Phthogg gave us a list of names," Rivet said, adjusting his goggles. "But it's just a list. We need to figure out who's the most dangerous, who's the most vulnerable, and who's holding the keys to the biggest secrets."

"I can access the Department's internal records," Umbral rumbled. "I can compile a dossier on each member of the Bureaucratic Elite, detailing their activities, their assets, and their weaknesses."

"Excellent," Corvus said. "Umbral, you focus on gathering intelligence. Rivet, I want you to analyze Phthogg's documents. See if you can find any patterns, any connections, any clues that might help us unravel their conspiracy."

"What about you, Corvus?" Rivet asked. "What are you going to do?"

Corvus smiled, a glint of determination in his eyes. "I'm going to do what I do best," he said. "I'm going to navigate the bureaucracy."

He paused, then added with a touch of mischief, "And maybe rewrite a few regulations along the way."

He spent the next few hours immersed in the Department's internal systems, a labyrinth of forms, files, and databases that would have sent a lesser mortal screaming into the void. But Corvus, armed with his bureaucratic knowledge and the Flaming Pen of Damnation, was in his element.

He discovered a hidden network of shell corporations, used by the Bureaucratic Elite to siphon off Department funds. He uncovered a secret program to suppress extradimensional innovation, designed to maintain the Elite's control over the flow of technology. He even found evidence of a conspiracy to manipulate interdimensional trade agreements, enriching the Elite at the expense of countless sentient beings.

The more he learned, the more outraged he became. The Bureaucratic Elite were not just corrupt; they were actively harming the Department, Aethel, and the entire extradimensional community. They had to be stopped.

As he delved deeper into the system, he stumbled upon a curious anomaly. A series of files, all related to a single project, had been inexplicably deleted. The project was code-named "Mandate," and the files were heavily encrypted.

"Mandate," Corvus muttered. "What is Mandate?"

He tried to access the files, but the encryption was too strong. He needed a decryption key, and he had no idea where to find it.

Frustrated, he leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He was starting to feel overwhelmed. The task of reforming the Department seemed increasingly daunting.

And then, a knock on the door.

"Come in," Corvus said, his voice weary.

The door opened, and a young woman hesitantly entered the office. She was small and unassuming, with bright, intelligent eyes and a nervous demeanor. She wore a Department uniform that was slightly too big for her, and she clutched a stack of files to her chest.

"Excuse me, Mr. Quill," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm... I'm Zinnia. I'm the new intern."

Corvus stared at her, surprised. He had completely forgotten about the intern program. In the chaos of the past few days, he had assumed that all the interns had either quit or been eaten by rogue filing cabinets.

"Zinnia," he said, forcing a smile. "Right. Welcome to the Department. I'm afraid things are a little...unconventional at the moment."

"I've noticed," Zinnia said, her eyes darting around the office. "Is it true that Director Phthogg was arrested?"

"It is," Corvus said. "He was involved in some...unethical activities."

"I always thought he was a bit creepy," Zinnia said. "He kept staring at my stapler."

Corvus raised an eyebrow. "Your stapler?"

"Yes," Zinnia said. "It's a vintage Swingline. My grandfather gave it to me. It's very reliable."

Corvus stared at her, a sudden thought dawning on him. "Zinnia," he said, "do you know anything about encryption?"

Zinnia's eyes widened. "Encryption?" she said. "I'm a cryptography enthusiast! I've been studying encryption algorithms since I was a child! I even built my own quantum encryption device out of spare parts!"

Corvus grinned. "Zinnia," he said, "I think you and I are going to get along just fine."

He explained the situation to Zinnia, telling her about the deleted files and the encrypted project code-named "Mandate." He asked her if she could help him decrypt the files.

Zinnia's eyes lit up. "Decrypt encrypted files?" she said. "That sounds like fun! I'll get right on it!"

She set to work immediately, her fingers flying across the keyboard. She muttered to herself, spouting arcane jargon and complex mathematical equations. Corvus watched in amazement, realizing that he had stumbled upon a hidden gem.

After several hours of intense concentration, Zinnia finally cracked the encryption.

"I did it!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with triumph. "I decrypted the files!"

She opened the files, revealing their contents. Corvus stared at the screen, his heart pounding in his chest.

The files contained detailed information about Project Mandate. It was a top-secret program to develop a weapon that could manipulate the very fabric of bureaucracy. A weapon that could rewrite regulations, alter procedures, and control the flow of information. A weapon that could give the Bureaucratic Elite absolute power.

"This is terrifying," Corvus said, his voice trembling. "They were planning to use this weapon to control the entire Department."

"But why?" Zinnia asked. "What was their ultimate goal?"

Corvus scrolled through the files, searching for an answer. And then, he found it.

A single document, buried deep within the encrypted data. A document that revealed the true purpose of Project Mandate.

The document was a mandate.

A mandate from an unknown source, ordering the Bureaucratic Elite to prepare Aethel for an impending invasion.

An invasion from another dimension.

"Oh, no," Corvus whispered. "This is much bigger than we thought."

The revelation that the Bureaucratic Elite weren't just corrupt bureaucrats, but also pawns in an impending interdimensional invasion, landed on Corvus with the force of a thousand improperly filed complaints. He stared at the document Zinnia had unearthed, the Extradimensional Eviction Notice (as he mentally dubbed it), feeling a cold dread creep into his bones.

"An invasion?" Rivet exclaimed, his goggles nearly popping off his face. "Are you serious? Who's invading? And why?"

"The document doesn't say," Corvus said, scrolling through the file. "It just mentions a 'Superior Authority' and a 'Necessary Relocation.' It seems the Bureaucratic Elite were tasked with preparing Aethel for... well, for being taken over."

"But why didn't they just tell anyone?" Zinnia asked, her voice trembling. "Why all the secrecy and corruption?"

"Because they were promised power," Umbral rumbled. "The Superior Authority offered them positions of authority in the new regime. They were willing to betray Aethel for their own personal gain."

Corvus sighed, rubbing his temples. "So, let me get this straight. We're not just fighting corrupt bureaucrats; we're fighting an interdimensional conspiracy. And the fate of Aethel rests on our shoulders. Just another Tuesday, I guess."

He paused, then added with a touch of gallows humor, "I really need a vacation."

"We don't have time for vacations, Corvus," Rivet said. "We need to figure out who these invaders are and how to stop them."

"Agreed," Corvus said. "Umbral, can you use your connections to gather intelligence on this 'Superior Authority'?"

"I will try," Umbral said. "But my resources are limited. The Bureaucratic Elite controlled access to most of the Department's intelligence networks."

"Zinnia," Corvus said, turning to the young intern, "can you use your cryptography skills to track the source of the Extradimensional Eviction Notice? Maybe we can find out who sent it."

"I can try," Zinnia said. "But it might be difficult. The document is heavily encrypted, and the transmission protocols are unlike anything I've ever seen."

"Do your best," Corvus said. "Every clue counts."

He paused, thinking. "In the meantime," he said, "we need to secure the Department. We can't let the Bureaucratic Elite continue to operate, even from behind bars. We need to take control of their assets, shut down their operations, and expose their conspiracy to the world."

"Easier said than done," Rivet said. "The Bureaucratic Elite have loyal followers throughout the Department. They won't give up without a fight."

"Then we'll give them a fight they won't forget," Corvus said, a glint of determination in his eyes. "We're going to clean house. And we're going to start with the most powerful member of the Bureaucratic Elite still at large: Undersecretary Regulus."

Undersecretary Regulus was a formidable opponent. A master of bureaucratic manipulation, he had spent decades building a network of influence within the Department. He controlled access to vital resources, manipulated key regulations, and silenced anyone who dared to challenge him.

He was also, Corvus suspected, the mastermind behind Project Mandate. He had the power, the resources, and the ruthlessness to orchestrate such a complex and dangerous conspiracy.

To take down Regulus, Corvus needed a plan. He needed to outmaneuver him, outsmart him, and expose his crimes to the world.

He spent the next few hours brainstorming with Rivet, Umbral, and Zinnia, trying to come up with a strategy. They considered various options, from launching a full-scale assault on Regulus's office to leaking incriminating documents to the press.

But none of the options seemed quite right. They were either too risky, too complicated, or too likely to fail.

And then, Zinnia had an idea.

"What if," she said, her voice hesitant, "what if we used the regulations against him?"

Corvus stared at her, his eyes widening. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Zinnia said, "Regulus is a bureaucrat, right? He lives and breathes regulations. What if we found a regulation that he's violating, and then used that regulation to take him down?"

Corvus grinned. "That's brilliant, Zinnia!" he exclaimed. "That's exactly the kind of thinking we need!"

He turned to Umbral. "Umbral, can you access the Department's regulations database? I want you to search for any regulation that Regulus might be violating."

"I will begin the search immediately," Umbral rumbled.

He spent the next few hours scouring the regulations database, searching for a loophole, a technicality, a violation that they could exploit.

And then, he found it.

Regulation 666-Y, subsection 13, paragraph 7, stated that all Department personnel were required to maintain a clean and organized workspace. Failure to comply with this regulation could result in disciplinary action, including suspension, demotion, or even termination.

"Regulation 666-Y," Corvus muttered. "Maintain a clean and organized workspace. That's it?"

"It may seem insignificant," Zinnia said, "but it's the perfect weapon. Regulus is a notorious slob. His office is always a mess. We can use this regulation to launch an investigation, expose his incompetence, and ultimately, take him down."

Corvus grinned. "I love it," he said. "It's so simple, so elegant, so...bureaucratic."

He reached for the Flaming Pen of Damnation, preparing to write a formal complaint.

"Wait," Rivet said. "We can't just file a complaint. We need evidence. We need proof that Regulus's office is a mess."

"I have a plan," Corvus said, smiling. "We're going to conduct a surprise inspection."

The surprise inspection of Undersecretary Regulus's office was a masterpiece of bureaucratic theater.

Corvus, Rivet, Umbral, and Zinnia arrived at Regulus's office unannounced, armed with clipboards, measuring tapes, and a portable sanitation testing kit.

Regulus, a tall, gaunt man with a perpetually sour expression, stared at them in disbelief.

"What is the meaning of this intrusion?" he demanded, his voice dripping with disdain. "I am Undersecretary Regulus! I don't have time for this nonsense!"

"We're here to conduct a surprise inspection," Corvus said, flashing a form that he had created with the Flaming Pen of Damnation. "Form 888-Z. Authorization for Surprise Inspection of Workspace. Completed in triplicate, signed by inspector, approved by supervisor, countersigned by director, notarized by interdimensional notary, accompanied by a detailed explanation of the reasons for the inspection, a list of the items to be inspected, and a statement of compliance with all applicable regulations."

Regulus took the form and scanned it with his eyes. "This form is...absurd," he said. "But it appears to be in order."

He sighed, then gestured towards his office. "Fine," he said. "But I assure you, you won't find anything."

Corvus, Rivet, Umbral, and Zinnia entered Regulus's office, leaving the bewildered Undersecretary behind.

The office was even worse than they had imagined. Piles of paperwork towered over the desks, threatening to topple over at any moment. Empty coffee cups littered the floor, attracting swarms of flies. Half-eaten sandwiches lay rotting on the shelves, emitting a foul stench.

"This is disgusting," Rivet muttered, holding his nose. "How can anyone work in this filth?"

"This is a clear violation of Regulation 666-Y," Corvus said, his voice filled with satisfaction. "Let the inspection begin!"

They spent the next few hours meticulously documenting the state of Regulus's office, taking photographs, measuring the height of the paperwork piles, and testing the sanitation levels.

They found dust bunnies the size of small dogs, mold colonies growing on the walls, and a family of sentient cockroaches living in the filing cabinet.

"This is beyond belief," Zinnia said, shaking her head. "I've never seen anything so unsanitary."

"We have more than enough evidence to take him down," Corvus said, smiling. "But I think we can do even better."

He looked around the office, his eyes scanning every detail. And then, he saw it.