Chapter 12: The Voidbringer's Vendor Contract

The revelation of the Voidbringer's impending arrival hung heavy in the air, thicker than the stench of stale coffee and desperation that permeated the Department of Revenue. Corvus felt a familiar pang of existential dread, the kind he usually experienced when Mr. Abernathy announced a mandatory team-building exercise involving trust falls and interpretive dance. This, however, was significantly worse. A trust fall with the Voidbringer, he imagined, would likely result in the utter annihilation of one's soul.

"The Voidbringer," Lyra repeated, her voice barely a whisper. "I've heard the stories, the legends… but I never thought it was real."

"Neither did I," Ms. Grimshaw said, her face grim. "But the evidence is undeniable. The incursions are growing stronger, the energy signatures are unmistakable, and the Guardian… well, she wouldn't have disappeared unless she was facing something truly terrifying."

"So, what do we do?" Rivet asked, his goggles dimming with anxiety. "How do we stop the Voidbringer?"

"That's the million-grumbleberry question," Ms. Grimshaw said. "We've consulted with every mage, every scholar, every interdimensional expert we could find. But no one knows how to stop the Voidbringer. It's said to be invincible, unstoppable, the ultimate force of destruction."

"There has to be a way," Corvus insisted, his mind racing. "Every problem has a solution. Every challenge has an answer. We just need to find it."

He paused, thinking. "What about the ancient texts?" he asked. "Do they say anything about the Voidbringer's weaknesses?"

"The texts are vague," Ms. Grimshaw said. "They say that the Voidbringer is vulnerable to… the power of creation. The power of hope. The power of… interdimensional Grub."

"Interdimensional Grub?" Rivet exclaimed, his goggles flashing with disbelief. "You're telling me that the Voidbringer is vulnerable to… a goblin's cooking?"

"It sounds ridiculous, I know," Ms. Grimshaw said. "But the texts are clear. The Voidbringer is a being of pure destruction, a force of utter negation. It is repelled by anything that is positive, anything that is creative, anything that is… delicious."

Corvus chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, I guess we know what we have to do," he said. "We need to find Grizelda and stock up on Interdimensional Grub. Lots and lots of Interdimensional Grub."

"That's not all," Lyra said. "The texts also say that the Voidbringer is bound by… a contract."

Corvus stared at Lyra, his eyes widening in surprise. "A contract?" he said. "You're telling me that the Voidbringer is bound by… paperwork?"

"It sounds absurd, I know," Lyra said. "But the texts are clear. The Voidbringer is a being of immense power, but it is also bound by ancient laws, by cosmic agreements, by… service level agreements."

Corvus's mind was reeling. A contract? A service level agreement? That was something he understood. That was something he could work with.

"What kind of contract?" Corvus asked. "What are the terms? What are the conditions? And who is the other party?"

"The texts don't say," Lyra said. "They just say that the Voidbringer is bound by a contract, and that the contract is the key to stopping it."

"Then we need to find this contract," Corvus said. "We need to find out who the Voidbringer is working for, and what they're getting in return."

He paused, thinking. "Where would we even begin to look?" he asked. "The Voidbringer is a being of immense power. It could have signed a contract with anyone, anywhere, in any dimension."

"There is one place that might have information," Ms. Grimshaw said. "The Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements. It's a neutral organization, dedicated to enforcing contracts and resolving disputes between parties from different dimensions."

"The Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements?" Corvus repeated. "I've heard of it. It's said to be the most bureaucratic organization in the entire extradimensional universe."

"That's an understatement," Ms. Grimshaw said. "The IBC is so bureaucratic, it makes the Department of Revenue look like a playground. But it's also the only place that might have information about the Voidbringer's contract."

"Then we need to go there," Corvus said. "We need to find this contract, and we need to find a way to exploit it."

The Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements was located in a sprawling office complex that straddled the border between several different dimensions. The building was a chaotic mix of architectural styles, with gothic spires, art deco facades, and futuristic domes all crammed together in a bizarre and unsettling manner.

The interior of the building was even more chaotic. The hallways were filled with endless queues of beings from all over the extradimensional universe, all waiting to file complaints, request information, or negotiate the terms of their contracts. The air was thick with the scent of ink, parchment, and the faint, lingering aroma of desperation.

Corvus, Lyra, Rivet, and Umbral cautiously made their way through the building, trying to avoid the gaze of the overworked bureaucrats who patrolled the hallways.

"This place is insane," Rivet said, adjusting his goggles. "It's like a bureaucratic zoo."

"Maintain your composure," Umbral rumbled. "We do not want to attract attention."

Corvus led the team towards the office of the Director of the IBC, a being known only as the Arbiter. The Arbiter was said to be the most impartial, the most objective, and the most bureaucratic being in the entire extradimensional universe.

Corvus knocked on the Arbiter's door, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Enter," a voice droned from inside.

Corvus took a deep breath and pushed open the door, stepping into the Arbiter's office.

The office was vast, sterile, and utterly devoid of personality. The walls were lined with towering filing cabinets, each one meticulously labeled and organized. The desk was covered in stacks of contracts, agreements, and various other bureaucratic documents.

Behind the desk sat the Arbiter. It was a tall, slender being, with smooth, grey skin, blank, white eyes, and a perfectly symmetrical face. It wore a grey suit that was even more starched and rigid than the suits worn by Ms. Grimshaw.

"State your business," the Arbiter said, its voice monotone and devoid of emotion.

"We're here to request information about a contract," Corvus said, his voice calm and professional. "A contract signed by the Voidbringer."

The Arbiter stared at Corvus, its eyes widening slightly. "The Voidbringer?" it said, its voice still monotone, but with a hint of surprise. "You are seeking information about a contract signed by the Voidbringer?"

"That's correct," Corvus said. "We believe that the contract is the key to stopping the Voidbringer, and we need your help to find it."

The Arbiter hesitated, then sighed. "I am afraid that I cannot assist you," it said. "The Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements is a neutral organization. We cannot provide information about contracts to unauthorized parties."

"But this is a matter of life and death!" Lyra exclaimed. "The Voidbringer is about to destroy Aethel! We need your help to stop it!"

"I understand your concern," the Arbiter said. "But I cannot violate the terms of my office. I am bound by the laws of the IBC, and those laws prohibit me from releasing confidential information."

"There has to be a way," Corvus said. "There has to be some loophole, some technicality, some bureaucratic procedure that we can exploit."

He paused, thinking. "What about a Freedom of Information Act request?" he asked. "Are you subject to the Aethelian Freedom of Information Act?"

The Arbiter stared at Corvus, its eyes widening slightly. "The Aethelian Freedom of Information Act?" it said. "That is… a novel argument."

It paused, then added with a sigh, "I am afraid that the Aethelian Freedom of Information Act does not apply to the Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements. We are an interdimensional organization, and we are not subject to the laws of any particular dimension."

"What about an interdimensional Freedom of Information Act?" Corvus asked. "Does such a thing exist?"

The Arbiter hesitated, then nodded slowly. "It does," it said. "But it is… incredibly complicated."

"How complicated?" Corvus asked.

"The Interdimensional Freedom of Information Act requires that you file a request in every dimension that is a party to the contract," the Arbiter said. "You must also provide proof that you are authorized to access the information in each of those dimensions. And you must pay a filing fee in every dimension, which can be… quite substantial."

Corvus stared at the Arbiter, his jaw dropping. "That's impossible," he said. "We could never file a request in every dimension. It would take years, and it would cost a fortune."

"I am aware of that," the Arbiter said. "That is why the Interdimensional Freedom of Information Act is rarely used."

"There has to be another way," Corvus said. "There has to be some other procedure, some other loophole, some other bureaucratic technicality that we can exploit."

He paused, thinking. "What about a subpoena?" he asked. "Could we subpoena the contract?"

The Arbiter hesitated, then nodded slowly. "It is possible," it said. "But it would require a court order from a judge in every dimension that is a party to the contract. And it would require proof that the contract is relevant to an ongoing criminal investigation."

"We can get a court order," Corvus said. "And we can prove that the contract is relevant to an ongoing criminal investigation. The Voidbringer is about to destroy Aethel. That's a pretty serious crime."

"It is," the Arbiter said. "But obtaining a court order in every dimension would still be… incredibly difficult."

"We can do it," Corvus said. "We have to. The fate of Aethel depends on it."

He paused, then added with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Besides, I have a feeling that the Interdimensional Bureau of Contracts and Agreements wouldn't want to be accused of obstructing justice."

The Arbiter stared at Corvus, its face contorted with fury. "You are a persistent one, Mr. Quill," it said. "I'll give you that. But I assure you, you will regret this."

The Arbiter's grudging acquiescence to the subpoena gambit felt less like a victory and more like a stay of execution. Corvus knew that obtaining court orders in multiple dimensions would be a logistical nightmare, a bureaucratic Everest, a TPS report on a cosmic scale. But the fate of Aethel hung in the balance, and he wasn't about to back down.

"Alright, team," Corvus said, addressing Lyra, Rivet, and Umbral. "We have a mountain of paperwork to climb. We need to identify every dimension that's a party to the Voidbringer's contract, and then we need to obtain a court order from each of those dimensions."

"How do we even find out which dimensions are involved?" Rivet asked, adjusting his goggles. "The Arbiter didn't exactly offer to help us with our research."

"We'll have to do it the old-fashioned way," Corvus said. "By poring over the IBC's records. We need to find any mention of the Voidbringer, any reference to a contract, any hint of a dimensional connection."

"That could take weeks," Lyra said, sighing. "The IBC's records are vast, disorganized, and written in a language that's only decipherable by highly trained bureaucrats."

"Then we'll have to become highly trained bureaucrats," Corvus said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Fortunately, I have some experience in that area."

He led the team back into the IBC's archives, a labyrinth of towering shelves, dusty tomes, and disgruntled filing clerks. The air was thick with the scent of mildew, despair, and the faint, lingering aroma of regret.

"Alright, let's split up," Corvus said. "Rivet, you're good with gadgets. See if you can hack into the IBC's computer system and access their records electronically."

"I'll do my best," Rivet said. "But the IBC's security system is said to be impenetrable. It's guarded by sentient firewalls, digital dragons, and a team of highly skilled code monkeys."

"Just try not to get eaten by the firewalls," Corvus said. "Lyra, you're good with magic. See if you can use your powers to locate any magical signatures on the contracts."

"I can try," Lyra said. "But the IBC's archives are shielded by powerful anti-magic wards. It's going to be difficult to sense anything."

"Just try not to set off any alarms," Corvus said. "Umbral, you're good at… intimidating people. See if you can persuade any of the filing clerks to give us some information."

"I will do what I can," Umbral rumbled. "But the filing clerks are notoriously uncooperative. They are said to be immune to threats, bribes, and even… flattery."

"Just try not to scare them too much," Corvus said. "As for me, I'll be poring over the contracts themselves. I'm looking for any mention of the Voidbringer, any reference to a dimensional connection, any… grammatical errors."

"Grammatical errors?" Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow. "What do grammatical errors have to do with stopping the Voidbringer?"

"You'd be surprised," Corvus said, smiling. "A well-placed apostrophe can be a powerful weapon. Trust me."

He spent the next few hours poring over the IBC's contracts, his eyes scanning the endless pages of legal jargon, bureaucratic boilerplate, and interdimensional legalese. The task was mind-numbing, tedious, and utterly soul-crushing. But Corvus refused to give up. He knew that the fate of Aethel depended on him finding the Voidbringer's contract.

As he was reading through a particularly dense and convoluted contract, he noticed something. A small, almost imperceptible error. The contract referred to the "Voidbringer's" obligations, but it used the possessive apostrophe incorrectly. It should have been "Voidbringers'," indicating that the obligations belonged to multiple Voidbringers.

Corvus's heart skipped a beat. Could this be it? Could this be the clue he was looking for?

He examined the contract more closely, his eyes scanning the list of parties involved. The contract was between the Voidbringer and a mysterious organization known as the "Interdimensional Consortium of Dark Arts." The Consortium was based in a dimension known only as "the Shadowlands."

Corvus smiled. He had found his first dimension.

He continued to pore over the contracts, searching for more clues, more errors, more dimensional connections. He found another contract, this one between the Voidbringer and a group of interdimensional mercenaries known as the "Grim Legion." The Grim Legion was based in a dimension known as "the Wastelands."

Corvus smiled again. He had found his second dimension.

He spent the rest of the day searching through the IBC's archives, finding more and more contracts, more and more dimensions. By the end of the day, he had identified a dozen dimensions that were connected to the Voidbringer's contract.

"Alright, team," Corvus said, gathering Lyra, Rivet, and Umbral together. "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I've identified a dozen dimensions that are connected to the Voidbringer's contract. The bad news is, we need to obtain a court order from each of those dimensions."

"That's going to be a challenge," Lyra said, sighing. "Each dimension has its own legal system, its own bureaucratic procedures, its own… preferred method of bribery."

"Then we'll have to adapt," Corvus said. "We'll have to learn the laws of each dimension, navigate their bureaucratic systems, and… find a way to persuade their judges to issue a court order."

He paused, thinking. "Rivet, you're good with gadgets. See if you can create some kind of device that will allow us to travel to these dimensions quickly and safely."

"I can try," Rivet said. "But interdimensional travel is tricky. It requires a lot of power, a lot of precision, and a lot of… luck."

"Just try not to get us lost in the wrong dimension," Corvus said. "Lyra, you're good with magic. See if you can create some kind of spell that will help us navigate the legal systems of these dimensions."

"I can try," Lyra said. "But magical influence is frowned upon in most legal systems. We'll have to be careful not to get caught."

"Just try not to get us arrested," Corvus said. "Umbral, you're good at… intimidating people. See if you can persuade the judges to issue the court orders."

"I will do what I can," Umbral rumbled. "But judges are notoriously difficult to intimidate. They are said to be immune to threats, bribes, and even… veiled suggestions of violence."

"Just try not to get us thrown in jail," Corvus said. "As for me, I'll be studying the laws of each dimension, preparing our legal arguments, and… perfecting my courtroom demeanor."

"Your courtroom demeanor?" Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow. "What does that involve?"

"It involves a lot of smiling, a lot of nodding, and a lot of… strategic coughing," Corvus said, smiling. "Trust me, it works."