Two Sets of Cries |Day ??? After Virus Release|

Lex

When’d I last change her bandages? Frantically, I scatter my bench, looking for fresh cloth and syringes of medicine. Hands on the last roll, I get up with a stir, moving as fast as a drowsy person can. Tangled blankets come into view on the bed. Anneka? Where? On the floor, I notice a small trail of blood that follows to a seat near the window where I see Anneka sitting down and gazing at the outside. I nearly drop to the floor in relief. I’m so glad she can move and is awake. A couple of tears drop, carrying days of flooded tension.

I realize my movement broke the silence; she already knows I am here. Can I explain myself? I feel stiff and heavy-mouthed. Walking closer and wiping my face, she doesn’t move from her post. I speak to her back.

“It is great that you can move around Anneka. I’m sure you noticed that your left arm is … gone. I couldn’t do anything else by myself with no time. I was lost to how you even used it in battle. After the zombie fell the first thing I did was perform surgery on your stomach region. I laid out something warm on a block of marble from the construction zone and started immediately. I was worried about the infection spreading and zombie transformation, but this strain couldn’t replicate or live properly in the body of a normal human. The zombie’s impossible mutation made it lose key features. It bizarrely could have only evolved in infected zombies and thrived in infected conditions. Then I had to read through the surgery book before going through with the rest of the operations. I had the supplies in my bag from quickly scavenging and making them an hour before I found you. Oh yeah. I’m sure you need to know what killed that huge zombie. In one of my bags, there was the medicine you packed. I took a look and saw the effects, but more importantly the high risk for overdose and side effects. I was reminded how little pills could kill humans. I wanted to do the same to giant zombies. I thought that a zombie and a human would have almost the same internal structures, so even if it was gigantic it could still be taken down by what unfortunately kills humans. I gathered and made all types of drugs in the hours before to make a drug concoction. Together, it was more potent, fast acting, and likely to act than the parts. I made it into a tight package that I threw inside its mouth.”

I stay silent and continue staring at the world outside. Two tears outrun my eyes and hit the floor at the same time making house with my blood. “Why? Why’d I survive? I lost the only way to make my dreams survive.”

Softly, I reply. “I’m sorry, I had to listen to my dream too.”

“It wasn’t your station, right, or weight! Maybe you did right by yourself. Don’t extend that to me. In the end, you were saving yourself.”

“I could never leave anyone to die, much less my partner.”

“I was ready. I already had it in mind to give my life up to you.”

“If you were ready to die for me then why aren’t you willing to live for me?” Brazenly, at last, she chooses to peer into me. Her face was of mist, anguish, and maddened determination.

“Live for you? My dream is to be a hero! Living like this is a nightmare. You let our research go for me and everyone is going to die from my absolute failure.”

“I know that you can understand. I wanted to save all people. You wanted to save the world. I couldn’t make them the same, you would always be the glaring difference, Anneka!”

“Enough!” I stand up and painfully trudge toward him placing my hand on his shoulder. This will be the last time I see his face. “I have to leave this place. I have to atone for everything the rest of my life. I’ve killed them all and nothing I can do will redeem me. I carry something inside that can never be fixed or forsaken. After feeling torment all night, I know the only reason I shouldn’t die right now is to save all the survivors I can. I’ll apply myself to the fullest, killing every zombie I come across so that the highest number of people can survive this year. I’ll always know that the number of the living could have been infinitely more and the scars from that will never fade. After I’m done packing up my supplies, I will leave. We can’t be partners anymore.”

Her hand drops to grab her maroon waist and stomach bandages. It alerts me. “Stop. You shouldn’t be exerting yourself for the next few weeks. You’ll die.”

“If I really die from this let it be so.”

“Why do you have to blame yourself! It was only my choice and fault.”

“Wrong, Lex. Your bond to me made you broken. I believed that I was just doing what somebody had to do, but in the end, I was nobody. Not somebody who is stronger or somebody who doesn’t collapse your feelings and logic when you are tasked with what will save us. If we never met, I guarantee someone else would have seen what I saw and kept the world and you safe properly.”

“It may be true that we are bonded as partners, but if you were in my position, Anneka, would you choose to save me, or could you really do what I couldn’t?”

I pause and bring my face up to his. “Even though I fear your death above all. If I were in your place, you would die and be my ruin so that I could save the world. It is all I’ve ever wanted and it is the only thing that matters, but I never had the same gifts as you, Lex. I’m selfish and born with weakness. I don’t have unrelenting faith in the world. The strength to believe in every situation and person. So that I could make the choice that feels wrong. My life has been stones and shattered bones for my dream to survive. After it all, one more obstacle would not be enough to prevent me. I believed that you would be able to do the same.”

“I tried and I couldn’t let more people go. It is admirable how you and Fion turn demerits into strength. You’ve done what I have living with conflict and suffering. I don’t believe that I would have it in me to do the same and be the person you see today. I am thankful to both of you for what you have done for me and shown me. For Fion who could have told us nothing, letting the world rot. For your investment of mortality and trust in this task even with the die of fate and logic being cast against us. So why? Why do I have to let people I respect die in front of me time and time again?” Parallel to my speech is an unconstrained stream from my eyes. “Swear it to me that you wouldn’t falter despite all the memories we shared and that in every world you would choose the people to save.”

I exude defiance glaring over his pleading face until my senses can’t stand it. Faced with my choice in front of me, I twitch my eyes away. “Why does it matter Lex? Everything is long over.”

“Please. Hear me. Bonds don’t make us weaker. They’ve always been helping us all along. In some way, I know that the bonds of humanity will still save this world.”

I fail to heed his meaningless words. I feel endless seeping frustration spurring action. I make my way to a table and then the others.

“Where is my axe?”

“I couldn’t pull it out of the zombie. It was impaled too deep.”

I lost my darling, so in its place, I take Lex’s staff instead. Also, in my pack, I add renewed field rations, medicine, and water. Lastly, I need the map of Seattle. I will need navigational help when I eventually journey deeper inland. Before I roll it up and pack it away, I look at the colored pictures and markings all over the city’s streets and landmarks. My eyes don’t overlook the infested research institution. They sink into it. Reading over it I am mesmerized, with my thoughts tunneling into the picture. With my hand in a fit, the map sways to the table. Here are the incubators we lack.

“Tell me, how many days have I not been awake, Lex?”

“I don’t know. Uhm. Three weeks is my best guess. Factoring in each day I can remember, maybe we are about 65 days into the outbreak.”

“Unbelievable. Three long weeks. We don’t have time. Take a look at this map.”

“Ok, what do you see?” I look over it once, twice, thrice, and see nothing. The visualization of the map inside of my head seems perfectly normal. I finally took a look at the paper instead. Curious. I missed this connection. The physical form allows for different iterations and focuses compared to recall. “Anneka, I told you everything was not lost.”

“Shut up, idiot. You choose wrong which is something you can never take back. Still, we are not done, and this building is unassailable. We will have to scout and find weaknesses to make a plan. Even after we find the incubators, we have to cram in brand new research and modifications.”

“That should be ok. I’ve tested, visualized the sequences, and made their calculations on paper in the park. I believe that I can deliver the necessary changes after the first attempt at a solution. I’ll make the antivirus travel through water the same as the virus. It is very possible to create and precisely experiment with the antivirus in the single month we have left. Any later than that, though, and even through ideal weather patterns, the world will not receive it fast enough. But if completed on time, the mechanism will turn them back to humans without fail.” Anneka covers her mouth when she thinks. She is wincing despite how she manages the pain. “I’ll work on the plan and get the supplies myself. Really, I’ve learned to be self-sufficient and fight taking care and living in your injured absence.”

“You can’t get infected, Lex. We can’t waste away our single chance again. With you gone, there is no one to make the antivirus. I’ll just go in myself and secure the building and area before I give a signal.”

“I don’t know what you see, but that is definitely not going to work. If you would agree, how about we just work together?”

I sigh. “We need to succeed, so working together could be best. Realistically, I am at 30% strength. Let’s get up close and see the situation for ourselves.”