A Proposal

Asuka ends up staying with the Nishimura family for a few days, not feeling ready to set out on another journey just yet with no plan in mind and a broken arm. She had come so close to dying out there. She still has two more things to complete before that. They let her stay in the spacious tatami room that she woke up in on her first day there. She helps with various chores, cooking dinner, and spending time playing board games and the like to keep each other entertained.

It’s actually rather nice. She didn’t expect to enjoy their company this much. It reminds her of the time she’d spent with her family before it fell apart.

But, as expected, the only person she has yet to get along with is the eldest daughter, Hotaru. She’s tried to figure out if this Hotaru really was the girl she’d know in high school. It was difficult, though, because she barely ever left her room. “She’s always like that,” her mom said one night when Hotaru left immediately after finishing her food. But Asuka couldn’t help but wonder if it was because she recognized her from those days.

The Hotaru she knew was a shy, quiet girl. In the past, she would see her around school, but never actually interacted with her. She doesn’t know when it was at her group at the time she had homed in on Hotaru to start and started using her as a gofer. Asuka never participated when Hanako found a new victim, bullying wasn’t her thing. But she knows now that her inactivity made her just as much of a perpetrator as the other members of her group.

It makes her sick to think about.

That’s part of the reason why Asuka is so interested in figuring out which Hotaru she is. She can’t say she is doing all that she had to make up for what happened to her brother, only to ignore someone else she was responsible for hurting.

Days pass without the two ever having a single exchange. But every time she and Hotaru end up coming across each other, she looks at Asuka with what she can only describe as vitriol. After a while, Asuka takes it upon herself to make direct contact with Hotaru. One night, after everyone has said goodnight to each other to get ready for bed, Asuka gets up from her futon and sneaks quietly to her room.

She stands there, shuffling her feet before bringing her hand up to knock on the door. “What is it?” Asuka had been hoping she would come up and open the door before asking anything. There was a chance she would just ignore her if she knew who it was, but Asuka continued anyway. “Um, it’s me,” Asuka expects her to recognize she’s not one of her family members with her voice alone. Her answer is met with silence. “Can we talk?” Asuka says dumbly.

Enough time passes that Asuka wonders if she should just go back to her room to try another time, but eventually Hotaru comes to open the door. She stares at her with the same glare she’s been giving her any time to come face-to-face. “What?”

Asuka hadn’t actually thought very far ahead. She stands there with a hand behind her head trying to find the right thing to say. “Ok, this is gonna sound weird, but did you go to Kokonotsu High School? In Shikoku…” she decides to go for a direct approach, ripping off the bandage. The look on Hotaru’s face changes slightly, like a few more drops of rage were added to her expression.

“What, so you do remember,” she scoffs.

Not wanting to continue the conversation in the hallway, Hotaru took the two of them downstairs and on the engawa veranda to speak in the garden. The night sky was illuminated by a full moon that bathed the greenery in a silver glow.

Hotaru stood leaning against the sliding door with her arms crossed. “Well?” she inquired sarcastically, “did you have anything you want to say to me?”

Shame burns through Asuka’s body like an entire pack of matches have been lit up all at once. “I’m sorry,” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. She rubs her neck and looks away. “I’m sorry for bullying you back then.” It comes out lame and uninspired. She really should have rehearsed what to say.

Hotaru’s eyebrows furrow. “You just stood there and watched,” her expression was dubious.

“I know, I’m sorry.” She looks away. She doesn’t know what she expected when she went to confirm who Hotaru was. It wasn’t exactly forgiveness that she was after, but maybe closure? Closure for the both of them.

Hotaru looks at her, not saying anything for a while. “If you’re really sorry…” she pauses, “then you’ll take me with you.”

Asuka lifts her head up, “what?”

“You heard me, I want to go with you.” Hotaru looks at her defiantly, her mind made up.

Asuka, for one, is incredulous. “What about your family?”

Hotaru shakes her head as if avoiding the question. “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life wasting away in this godforsaken house.”

“I think it’s pretty nice here,” Asuka mumbles, kicking her foot awkwardly.

“Are you crazy? My parents have gone off the deep end! They don’t even let us watch TV anymore.” She was aware of the Nishimura family’s strict policy on electronic entertainment. Possibly having to do with their paranoia regarding the outside world and the incoming asteroid. She can’t say she blames them, though. “You haven’t been out there,” she says. “It’s turning into a war zone. Do you really want to risk your life because you can’t watch television?”

“What about you?” Hotaru jabs back, “you’re planning on going out there again, aren’t you?”

Asuka shakes her head, “I have to. There’s something I need to do, otherwise there’s no point to me being here in the first place.”

Hotaru is silent for a while. Asuka thinks she’s given up when she starts again.

“All my life,” she says with reluctance in her voice, “I’ve been stuck doing what others have told me without question. I was stuck inside practicing for piano recitals, studying until I got the highest grade in the school…” she lifts her eyes to meet Asuka’s, “I even got stuck going around running errands because I was scared of your little friends.”

Low blow, Asuka thinks sardonically.

“This is literally my last chance to do what I’ve always wanted to do. If the world is ending, then I wanna be there. I’m going with you whether you want me to or not.”

Asuka has to admit, that was pretty convincing. The idea of traveling with someone who clearly dislikes her makes her feel troubled, but Asuka can’t say she wouldn’t appreciate the company. Though television was banned in the house, Asuka had been using her phone to get information. The world hasn’t changed much from what she’d seen, but it sure isn’t getting any better. She doesn’t know how long they’ll last even with the two of them, but if there’s two of them it makes it feel less scary. The world’s already ending anyways, what have they got to lose?