Steam & Silence

After finishing the dishes, Audra wandered to the living room. Zephyr was sprawled on the couch half-buried in a book, lit warmly as the heater hummed in the background.

"All good?" He glanced at her from behind its pages.

"Yeah. Thanks again for the food."

"Don't mention it. You can watch some TV or something, or if you want to turn in early, you know where the bedroom is. Either way though, you should probably take a shower first. You need it."

"I'll probably call it a night soon, so—Hey. Wait a minute."

She crossed her arms in indignity.

"Are you saying I stink?"

"Just suggesting is that a shower is in order—that's all. Anything else I shall remain silent on." The lightest of snickers escaped him.

In all honesty, Audra knew he was right. She couldn't remember the last time she'd bathed properly. Every 'shower' she'd had this past week was rainwater and paper napkins.

She kicked the carpet to express her stinky pride's discontent.

"Fine, but I hope your water heater works. Otherwise, I'll be complaining the whole time."

"I assure you; it works. Just try not to use all the water. It takes a bit for the heater to refresh. Oh, and the towels are in the cabinet next to the door. Use the blue ones. They're clean."

This time, he almost sounded like her mother. She opened her mouth to quip something but stopped in better judgment.

When would her brain stop doing that? Drawing parallels and wandering? When would she learn to just grow up and shut it?

She made her way to the bathroom.

It was simple and smelled faintly of bleach, with a toilet and shower on one end and a sink and mirror on the other. The walls were tiled white and blue, and a thick, plush mat lay in front of the shower door.

She flicked a switch and a fan buzzed as it vented air outside.

Not too shabby. Almost reminded her of—

Audra locked the door before the thought could go any further.

"Damn it."

She glared in the mirror. Tangled hair, exhausted amber eyes, a face nearly drained of color—she barely recognized herself. Though when had she ever really? Her eyes wandered to her prosthetics, both her and not.

A sigh escaped as she turned on the hot water.

"Wonder how long I can stay in…"

Her clothes dropped to the floor in a heap.

***

After an unknown amount of time, Audra stepped out onto the tile. Her skin tingled in the well-steamed air. She cradled a towel and dried her hair.

The shower had helped in a lot of ways, though it'd renewed a few mental demons in exchange.

The fan buzzed as water steamed from her bionics.

It was admittedly cool to watch. A small heating element kept her prosthetics dry, and a thin waterproof film protected against moisture—though thicker things could leave residue.

Aside from their functionality, it was the only thing she liked about her prosthetics.

Audra palmed her fresh clothes from hand to hand.

She hated how the prosthetics looked—the clear divide they created in her physicality. Even if her brain recognized it as part of her, her heart would never agree. She would forever be a 3-D puzzle that didn't fit together right.

Her lips scrunched as she ran her hand through her damp locks. At least her hair and half her body were still hers.

She exited after brushing her teeth and dressing, making her way back to the living room.

"Hey, Zeph, I'm done. There should probably be some hot water left."

However, there was no response.

Curious, she shuffled from the doorway to the couch.

"Hey, Zeph. Do you copy? Don't tell me your hearing's shot."

His eyes were open, and his book was still tightly clutched in his hands. However, he looked unfocused, like his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"Zephyr!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook.

His silver pupils jarred back on reality.

"Ah!—Oh, sorry. What's wrong?"

"I should be asking you that. You alright?"

"Ah, yeah." He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"…Are you sure that's it? Do you need a doctor or something?"

"N-no, it's alright. Long day, you know?"

His gaze intentionally avoided hers as he nursed his head. "I should be fine after a shower and rest. Speaking of, you should probably do the same. There are extra blankets in the hallway closet if you need."

She squinted as he stood. He was definitely hiding something from her, but with a sigh, she let it go. She didn't want to force an explanation.

"Fine. Good night, I suppose."

"Yeah. Good night, Audra."

Once the bathroom lock clicked, she entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her and climbing into bed with her teddy.

The scent of detergent relaxed her as she sunk into the bedding. The faint noise of the shower droned in the background.

"…" It was almost like she was back home. Except she wasn't.

Audra rolled over, burying her face into the pillow.

Damn it. She didn't want to think about it, but her body wouldn't listen.

It all came back in a crash of heartbeats. The rain. The screams. The pain.

The guilt of living—blood that steamed off her bionics.

She burrowed into the mattress like a bunker, struggling to quiet her traitorous thoughts. Deep breaths. In and out.

It took a while, but it eventually worked. Enough to move her mind onto another topic: Zeph.

Her chest tightened.

He was a strange one, at least when compared to most, but he'd let her stay here and fed her, so he probably wasn't bad.

Honestly, it was more kindness than she'd expected—than she deserved.

She didn't know how much of his story she could actually believe—especially with the weird spacing out thing—but it didn't really matter now.

She tried to will herself to sleep. A part of her wondered how long she would stay here, and a smaller, quieter one wondered what would happen after. But those were questions that could wait.

Right now, she just needed to rest.