Chapter 20: Intimacy

Zophie had an easier time cleaning me up than I’d had with her. Somehow, despite all of it being my blood, she’d gotten it all over herself far more than I had.

When she saw the mostly healed state of my leg, I think she really started to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t human. After she was satisfied with the state of my leg, no longer fussing over me, I wanted to leave— let her relax in the bath in peace.

“Don’t go.” She held onto my arm, looking up at me with begging eyes. Despite the warm humidity throughout the bathroom, I could still see that she was shivering. The shock from everything hadn’t worn off.

“Alright,” I agreed with her, walking to the tub and turning on the faucet. “Want me to sit on the stool while you relax in the tub?”

She shook her head immediately, not an ounce of hesitation. “You sit in the tub first.”

I raised a brow at her, but in the end, I felt that she needed this— the comfort. “Sure.”

Taking off the rest of my underclothes, I got in the tub, leaning against the back. Zophie’s feet pattered against the hard tile, moving to join me in the tub. She got in so quickly that she didn’t have time to get used to the warm temperature. With a fierce wince, she sat down in the shallow water, crossing her legs.

The tension poured out of her as she got used to the water. Eventually, she leaned until she rested her back against my chest, her arms floating lazily as the water level continued to rise. For a while, the only sound was the falling water from the faucet, filling the room with warm steam. The heat from the tub seeped into my muscles and especially relaxed the tightly knit flesh on my calf.

Zophie leaned forward to turn the faucet off after the tub filled before leaning back against me, the water reaching up to her lower neck. I kept my arms out of the tub, resting them on either edge.

“So, you really are a fallen angel?” she said before letting out a hitching breath. The tears stopped, but their aftershocks remained.

“Yeah.”

“Can I see your wings?” She drifted her hands through the water, making small ripples.

“Yeah. They won’t fit in the tub, though.”

“Later, then?”

“Later,” I promised.

She took in a deep, hiccupping breath before releasing it in a steady stream. For a while, we just lay there peacefully, basking in each other’s presence. I’d never seen Zophie so quiet for such a long time, and it reminded me of how strongly she was affected by everything.

So quiet, to the point I think she maybe wasn’t even sure if she really wanted to know the answer, Zophie whispered, “How did you fall?”

A scene flashed by my eyes of me standing inside the gates of heaven. Saint Peter stood before me, a crack of disappointment in his eyes. Then, I was falling, my wings turning black.

“I used to be a guardian angel.” I began, thinking back a millennium ago. “But everywhere I turned, everyone I helped… all of the mortals were the same. None of them deserved redemption. Liars, murderers, rapists, and cheats. Every single one of them.”

Zophie tensed up her shoulders at my words, clearly uncomfortable with the thought.

“So, I decided I was done: done helping the mortals, done helping perpetuate the cycle of sins. It made the Earth a worse place. And now that Heaven has abandoned this planet to its fate… I can’t help but think I was right.”

“You’re wrong,” Zophie said with conviction. “Maybe— maybe there are some evil people like the man who attacked us today. But people are worth helping; you can’t have good without bad, after all. And, I don’t think we’ve been abandoned, either. If we were, then you wouldn’t be here.”

Her words struck something inside of me. I hadn’t considered myself as part of some grand plan for centuries. Yet, here was Zophie, so adamant that I was here to help the Earth or something.

“No, I just punish sinners. That’s it.” Yet, her words made me think.

“I think if God didn’t want you on Earth, you wouldn’t be here.” She scoffed at herself. “And to think God is actually real… wow. I hadn’t really ever paid much attention to religion, honestly. Guess that shows me, huh?”

“God, huh? Yeah. He’s up there somewhere, laughing his ass off, I’m sure.”

Turning in the water, Zophie pushed herself up onto me. I moved my arms to support her, holding her to my chest. She rested the side of her head against me, one arm on my chest. With gentle strokes using the pads of her fingers, she traced the outlines of my muscles. The tickling sensation was pleasant, I decided.

“Today was the first time someone I wanted to help tried to hurt me.”

“It’s amazing that it took that long. This world is full of people who’d love to take advantage of you, Zophie. You’re lucky.”

“Mhm-mhm,” she shook her head in denial. “I’m not lucky. I think maybe that things were supposed to happen this way. Since you really came from heaven, what if we were meant to find each other?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged, not really caring either way. I’d protect her, luck, fate, or divine will be damned.

After another pause, where Zophie continued to trace her fingers against my skin, she eventually spoke up. “I’m really warm, let’s get out,” Zophie suggested, but she made no move to actually get up.

“Sure,” I agreed, despite enjoying the moment myself. “You’ll have to get up first.”

“Don’t wanna,” she said petulantly, contradicting herself.

Snaking my arm beneath her legs, I smoothly maneuvered until I held her in a princess carry. The water rushed off us as I stood up, the air feeling pleasantly cool after the long bath. Then I stepped out of the bath, gently putting Zophie down on her feet.

After exiting the bathroom, we quickly dried off. I grabbed myself a new pair of briefs and a shirt, but Zophie rummaged around in my dresser until she found one of my shirts that was way too big for her. She held it up to her nose, breathing it in. She put it on quickly before rummaging about in her old stuff for her underwear. Her new clothes still needed to be washed.

She followed me like some kind of lost puppy when I went to leave the bedroom. As promised, I wanted to give her the bed, and I’d sleep on the couch.

“Don’t go,” she said again, this time pulling on my sleeve.

I was starting to see a pattern here. “Alright.”

She pulled me to the bed, which was easily big enough for two. As if she was afraid I’d run away, she made sure I got in first before she climbed in herself. She managed to grab most of the blankets, pulling them in like some kind of turtle. Then she lay down on her side, wrapping herself around me. Her cool, wet hair rested against my chest, but I didn’t mind. The rest of her was unbelievably warm, especially with the way she bunched up all the blankets on top of us.

“Asmo?” she asked, disrupting the quiet darkness around us.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being here.”

I’d never been thanked for simply existing before. “Uh, sure. Thank you, too?” I pushed some of her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

She giggled at my awkward reply, not disturbed in the slightest. Letting out a long sigh, she relaxed even further into me. “I’m glad we’re still alive.”

“Me too.”

Bringing my free arm around, I placed it on her lower back. I wasn’t used to going to sleep at night, but I dared not disturb Zophie as she drifted off. I didn’t even so much as move, fearful that even the slightest repositioning could wake her.

But, in the absence of conversation, my mind drifted. I thought about Michael and now Wendigo. Clearly, Michael had brought Wendigo here to soften me up, right after my battle with Hannya. He wanted to keep me strained, not quite recovered. But why would he bother? Why not just attack me directly?

I wasn’t going to let him do as he pleased. Tomorrow, I vowed, I’d hunt down Wendigo myself. Denying Michael his allies could only benefit me.

As I lay in the bed, gently rubbing small circles against Zophie’s back, thoughts of Michael eventually drifted away. What remained in its place was only the darkness around me, and the small bundle of light in my arms.