Alicia Loneliness

Why would she do that? Doesn't she believe in me at all?

In my desperation, to not get abandon by her.

“W-why would you say that Milady? It's only my wish to serve you for the rest of my life!”

Lady Alicia stare silently at me.

“What…is your feeling toward me? Is it merely gratitude?, one who i have to repay debt to? loyalty? or something else entirely?”

I silently pay all my attention to listen to heart without let it slip by.

“Ever since i come to this world and experience thing, I…realized that.

I…can't no longer place my trust on you any longer, no…does such thing even exist in the first place? even if you die, I still have others plan in mind that can replace you.”

“But right now, i do not want you to die for my sake, you should live your own life without being bound to someone like me"

Alicia after said that try to get up from her seat.

No! I don't want to let her go!

“Please wait a moment milady! I don't mind die for your sake nor i want you to suffer alone! I know it presumptuous of me to step out my line, but i truly wish for your happiness!!”

“Why…what is the reason you willing to go that far for my sake?”

I…what is my feeling for her? i don't think it merely to pay debt i own to her for rest of my life nor loyaty as servant….it's closer feeling to Love or Admiration.

I adored her like she is the sole light in my life….like that of saintess of her her own will without bend down to others. I admire her will, her resolve her resolution.

But to sum it up, then i think this word is most suitable.

“I….i think i have fallen in love with you Lady Alicia, I…wish to spend the rest of my live together with you be it as your butler or anything as long i can keep stay beside you, I don't mind anything else.”

Alicia face flare up, bright red like rose, her emotion rose to point she unconsciously put my into her eyes turn it into azure like sky gem, despite the light didn't get turn on in room, i can still see her face due moonlight and outside streelight shone out through window, reveal her face.

For the first time, ever since i met her, she her once flawless facades cracked slightly.

“Y-you what are you think to said that!

Do you even know what you meant, when you don't even know anything about me!”

“It's true i do not know anything about your lady, be it your exact relationship with your family nor your circumstances.

All i known is what you had shown me, i know milady are not type to explain properly to other in the first place unless you believe it neccessary to do so.”

I place my right hand to my left chest where my heart lie inside.

“But even then, i will still falling for you, i want to be of help to you, even if mean i'm being treated as tool.

please use my feeling for you as your tool to achieve what milady want to do"

“Could you, milady bestow that chance upon my lowly self?”

I don't know what result my actions will bring about, all i can do right now is to be honest with my feelings.

I…will left everything to Milady decision.

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Alicia POV :

W-what he been saying? Love? He love someone like me? Someone who is calculative and closely guard myself without let anyone into my heart?

Her heart beating become faster, her face flush, and the heat don't seem to die down at all.

For first time in her life, there is someone who without look at her with prejudice eyes, without looking down on her as mistress child of duke.

Being child of mistress, she always being on receive end of contempt of nobles and their servants, like a ugly duck amongst elegant swans.

Yet despite all that they refused to let her go due her unprecedent talents never seen before in Lothian empire history.

She despite being commoner in their eyes possesses something even their so call prestigious lineages doesn't have.

A talent, A power, A mind that allow one to utilize it.

Being genius, she is born with body that suitable to all element of mana, she can learn anything far faster than others, her body strength continue to grow just by breathing.

Her very existence itself is threat for those who enjoyed the privilege as noble, exist far above the ground (commoners), be it royalty or nobles, just by being alive, is threat to their authority.

And those who desires for something, inevitably try to make use of her, be it as their tool or bring her to their side.

She, Alicia have to endured countless jealously from her family, father who only treat her as tool, step-mother and brother who envy her talent and hate her existence, servants who see her as threat to their livelihood, others noble who can't allow themselves to be beneath lowly existence like her.

And Crown prince who despite being her fiancee due adult decision without ever consider her, mistaken her for someone who desperate for his love despite, when all i did is duty required of me as duke daughter.

The world…will always paint me in evil light for the sake of their own convenience.

Countless people try to get rid of me who is in their way.

I saw assassins face even more time than i ever saw my parent or that fake family of their.

She who is always have to put up mask as proud and prideful lady to protect her self, Always have to recheck everything to protect herself from harm, Don't allow even herself to enjoy what she want that might end up become her weakness.

Hiding her true self behind mask known as Villianess Alicia de Roswell.

The hope, what she desired in the past, what she deemed that it's impossible to ever obtain. abandoned to sea of time.

For other to love her, to love her for who she is despite all her shortcomings.

It's dream-like situation for her, It's like someone casted illusion and she failed to resist them despite all countermeasures, the magic she desperately learn to prove her worth to seek others approval and yet only to make their hate toward her grow even deeper.

She who is talented with mana, before long managed to learn how to read others heart, their true nature through her eyes and ability to read their memory by channeling her mana into other persons brain.

That's the reason for her frustration.

What Yuuma said…He truly meant it, without a single bit of lie, his intentions, he really meant what he said.

His heart conveyed to heart is unmistakably pure, devoted solely to her. something she never ever seen or thought before being directed at her and none others.

That's exactly why, she who known that he spoke the truth more so than anyone, can't help but be shocked, feeling good, a satisfaction she never feel before.

And with them a new fire of emotion is born inside her.

‘W-what to do!? How should i answer him!!? I-i do not know what to do in this situation at all!!?”

As result she end up in completely panicked state.

In her panick accidentally punch Yuuma on top of his head with her enchanted body boosted pass beyond human limit.

Knocked him out cold completely in instant and cause his to head to smashed into the wooden floor.

“Ahhhhhhh!!! What have i done!!???”

‘Is He OKAY!? Ahhh!! What to do!?, no wait, i do know basic healing magic!! I might not be proficient with it but…what was incantation again? Ahhh! I can't recall any of them at all!!’

She immediately regretted that she lost control of herself for moment.

Ever since her childhood days, for first time in long while, she don't know what to do at all.

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While i'm waiting my for milady to respond, even if it mean receive her punch or being killed.

I won't have any regret at all.

I did all i believe i could, i confessed my feeling.

As long she answer me by whatever mean, then i think i will be satisfied with just that.

Lady Alicia seem to unable to process her thought, with face redden like tomatoes, no wait that a bit too rude.

With face like that of red rose in full bloom, she open her mouth then close them rapidly, her eyes still growing blue shaking like earthquake going through them, her hand shaking, one of her finger is pointing at me.

….This reaction is more intense than i thought.

I don't know what her action mean since there various way to interpret it.

But i can clearly see her embarrassment, i do not know about her others feeling though, and it most likely rage due my insolent action.

While i'm contemplating on reason while waiting for her.

Before i notice it, i sudden feel the impact on top of my head.

‘Ah…..is this…h..er…a….n..s…..w………”

I lost my consciousness at speed of sound.