Space and the Soul

I took a deep breath, but Shemman spoke first. “Good work today,” he said. “Um. Yes.”

“Thanks. Yeah.” This was so much more awkward than I had hoped. I felt my face growing warm. C’mon, Rakel, you can do this! I had already made up my mind to go up against the entire Empire. Surely this couldn’t be as hard, right? I finally croaked “can we talk about…us?”

“Yes,” he replied. “‘Us’ is a topic I have intended to bring up for some time. But the situation never seemed right.”

“And…it seems right now?”

“In the monasteries, we are trained to avoid attachments if possible. But still, people cannot live without bonds. So it is something of an unwritten rule that no Aijalon warrior goes out on mission with a relationship unsettled, because we never know what mission will be our last. And as there is no guarantee we shall survive our expedition into the Empire, the time is now.”

“Yeah. That makes sense.” I studied the ceiling.

“So, when we, um, spoke, before we left for the real world. When I thought Jepha and I would return to the Empire.”

I steeled my resolve and stared straight into his eyes. “I’m sorry I pushed all that onto you at the time. But my feelings haven’t changed since then. Well, actually, they’ve gotten stronger. I…” my voice broke down to a nervous squeak. “I love you.” I couldn’t take it any more. I resumed staring at the ceiling and began to babble. “I know you don’t feel the same way, and I’m sorry for pushing this on you again, but like you said, we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so I had to tell you. Even though I know you already rejected me.”

Because I was still gazing at the ceiling, I didn’t notice Shemman approach until he wrapped his arms around me in an embrace. His arms were strong, yet gentle. I thought back to the first time we had been this close, when he pinned me to the wall in an escape attempt early on. I felt the same thrill I had felt then, but this time it was untainted with fear.

“Rakel,” Shemman said, still hugging me. “I must make a confession. When you confessed your feelings to me on that day, and I told you I did not reciprocate…I lied.”

“What.”

“I thought we would never see each other again,” he continued in a hurry. “Besides, you are a mage, I am Aijalon. I thought life together would be too hard. And that if I admitted my feelings for you as well, you might risk your life to follow me. But I was too weak to see how strong you are. I regret it, but—”

I pressed my lips against his.

We held the kiss for a moment that felt like it lasted forever. I felt a thrill a hundred times better than the sensation of holding the Expanse.

When we finally broke apart, I was breathing a little heavily. Shemman said “Rakel, that was, uh…”

“Shh,” I said, finding my bravado. “If you keep saying stupid things I’ll have to shut you up again.”

He grinned. “If that is your method of silencing stupidity, I shall endeavor to speak foolishly more frequently.”

I grinned back. “Don’t try it, buster.” We both shared a long, joyous laugh.

***

At noon on the appointed day, I stood at the border of the Pocket, surveying the crowd who had assembled to follow me out into the Empire. Beside me, Liah said with a teasing voice, “by the way, congratulations. But also, what took you so long?”

“What are you talking about, Liah?”

“What happened last night, in the dining hall. When you thought everybody else had left.” She smirked.

I went slightly pink as Liah walked off laughing. I hoped she was just messing with me. The idea that we might have had an audience…

I shook off the thought when I saw Granny approach, walking slowly and leaning heavily on her staff. I ran to give her an arm, which she gratefully accepted. “Granny, I’m so glad you decided to come with us.”

“Hmph. Your training is still incomplete. You only know the basics of Space magic, and your skills in the other domains are badly lacking. I couldn’t abandon my star pupil in that state, now could I, hmm?”

Granny took her place among the crowd. Now that she was here, every single person in the Pocket stood in the crowd. Despite my offer that people could stay here if they wanted, it seemed everyone had decided to leave the Pocket.

My father stood near Granny, beaming with pride. He came to give me a hug. “Your mother would be so proud to see you, Rakel,” he whispered.

“Thank you for everything, Dad.”

He ruffled my hair, then stood back. I took a deep breath to let in the Expanse.

The gestures for this spell were simpler than the one Granny and I had used before. I understood the Pocket well enough now to realize that Granny had worked hard to create a spell that would let us open then close the portal again. But I had no intention of coming back here, so I could just burst right through the spell weave to get back to the real world.

As my hands made the gestures, I glanced over at my friends, standing far enough away so that the Aijalon would not disrupt my magic. Liah whispered something into Rubia’s ear, then laughed when the latter recoiled. Bekah looked around nervously, her research notebook tightly clutched in her right hand. Jepha looked bored and fidgety, like he wanted to start running around. And Shemman met my gaze. He smiled, his expression saying ‘you’ve got this.’

I completed the gestures and felt the spell take effect. I turned and stepped into the grey mist that led back to the real world.