To You, The Person I Love

A loud knock came from the door, pulling Kousei abruptly from the calm of his dream.

In his dream, he was with Mahiru. They were much younger at first, playing together in front of his school. Time seemed to stretch and bend as they grew up side by side, fell in love with each other, and grew old together. In just a few instants, his dream gave him an entire lifetime.

An entire lifetime with Mahiru.

The knocks on his door grew louder, more frequent.

“Just five more minutes!”

He desperately longed to return to his dream, to feel the gentle warmth embracing him as his consciousness drifted away.

Because, unlike the softness of his dream, his bed felt cold. Kousei hadn’t experienced this coldness in a while. When was the last time? Before Mahiru came to live with him? When he used to sleep in his bed alo–

His eyes snapped open before he could even finish his own thought.

There was nobody next to him on the bed.

Mahiru was gone.

At the same time the realisation hit him like a punch to the gut, his mother opened the door to his room.

“Have you seen Yuu– Oh.”

Silence lingered between them for a few seconds, and when Kousei instinctively touched his cold face, he suddenly understood the source of his mother’s surprise.

How much…have I been crying?

“I see. Once you feel better, please come downstairs. Yuuna seems to have gone outside,” his mother explained in a tender voice.

“O-okay.”

Kousei’s mind still hadn’t quite set into reality, but the coldness around his heart made his entire body freeze.

Mahiru was gone.

His dream had only been a dream.

Would he ever see her again?

No, she had promised she’d come back.

She just had to.

There were still too many things they were supposed to experience together.

It’s so cold.

In an attempt to shake off the freezing weight of his thoughts, Kousei stood up from the bed. Scanning the room, he recognised that nothing had changed since yesterday. Mahiru had left all of her belongings here, just as she had announced.

The only thing missing in the room was herself.

But when Kousei approached his desk, he noticed something else had changed overnight.

A letter lay on it, with a single cornflower delicately placed on top.

This was…from Mahiru.

As soon as he realised who had left the letter here, he picked it up and started reading.

Her handwriting looked lively and elegant, reminding Kousei of the person she was. Memories from their time together came flashing through his mind.

Dear Kousei,

by the time you’re reading this, I’ll probably be back in the East. Or maybe you might only find this letter once I’m back. (Please don’t, I guess that would be kind of awkward.)

Anyways, I’m not sure what’s going to be waiting for me back home.

It might be something trivial, or something that will turn my whole life upside down.

I have no way of knowing it.

But the truth is, I’m scared.

I’m so scared that I won’t be able to come back, that I’ll have to break our promise.

I’m scared that I will never get to see you again.

I know I often said it as a joke or because I wanted to escape my current life. But let me be serious this one time.

I really want to marry you one day.

Did this come as a surprise? Aww, I’d love to see the expression on your face right now.

But seriously, you really are an amazing person, Kousei.

To help out a girl you didn’t even know, risking your own well-being by letting me stay by your side.

How can one person be so kind?

If I do manage to come back, would you mind teaching me to become kinder?

And if I don’t…

Please never forget me, okay?

I said I’ll definitely come back, but deep down, my fears are eating me alive.

And I can’t even bring myself to be honest with you because I know it would only make you suffer even more.

When you started to cry earlier and begged me not to leave, my heart twisted in a way it never had before.

I think it’s because I realised something.

You worry about me.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was needed by someone.

I realised you need me, but at the same time…

I need you as well.

So I’ll do everything possible to be back as soon as I can. No matter what it takes, I want to be by your side again.

When I still lived at home, I made a choice to come to the West.

I made a choice, and I met you.

At first, I just wanted to experience the life my grandfather had told me about.

The freedom, the feeling of belonging, a family that cared about me.

I found all that, but I also realised how different the West is from what I imagined.

Like, can we talk about the prices here? I don't understand how people over here don’t go insane with them.

Or why am I not allowed to attend university as a woman? Geez, you’re all so old-fashioned.

Maybe some of my expectations regarding the West were a little utopian, though. After all, I guess no country is perfect.

But I would never have expected to meet someone as amazing as you, to fall in love so deeply.

We met a month ago, but it feels like I’ve known you my whole life.

The things you’ve taught me, the secrets we’ve shared, the kisses we’ve exchanged, the number of times you’ve made me so happy.

All of this felt incredibly special, like I was destined to meet you.

Like I’ve been waiting all my life for you.

Like you’ve been waiting all your life for me.

Who would have thought that such a profound love would be waiting for me on the other side of the wall?

Hey, now that I write it down, “Love awaits on the other side” sounds like a title from one of those corny romance movies, right?

If a movie with that title ever comes out, I want to see it with you.

There are so many things I still want to do with you.

Because I love you, Kousei.

That’s right, I finally managed to say it.

(I know, it’s only in written form, but it’s the best I can do right now. I’ll make sure to really say it once we meet again.)

I love you.

You, you, you.

You alone are going to be the reason for my second visit to the West.

And this time, I’ll make sure it will be a permanent visit.

Until then, please take care. And please take care of your parents and Yuuna as well.

I can’t wait to see you again.

With all my heart,

to you, the person I love,

Mahiru

The moment Kousei put the letter away, his breath stopped.

Towards the end of the text, the handwriting became a little messier, blurred by the stain of tears.

A few of them undoubtedly belonged to Mahiru, but the majority… The majority were his own.

He was crying.

He was crying without restraint, without shame, as if the very act of holding it in would break him even more.

He pressed his head against the desk, his hands gripping his ears in an attempt to silence the overwhelming pain that consumed him.

Kousei had never cried like this before, had never experienced this sort of heartbreak in his life.

He was grieving.

The cornflower on the desk seemed to stare back at him, reminding him of their first encounter.

Her beautiful face.

Her elegant black dress.

Her flowery fragrance.

Her soft touch.

Her infectious laugh.

Her gentle kiss.

Every memory crashed into him at once, a relentless wave threatening to pull him under, to drown him in the weight of it all.

Mahiru had said it best in her letter.

They’d been waiting all their lives to meet each other.

The reason they were alive was to meet each other.

Which is why he had to see her again.

Kousei ran out of his room as fast as he could, leaving the house in a rush while ignoring his parents’ calls fading behind him.

Mahiru, Mahiru, Mahiru, he thought, tears still streaming down his face.

He ran and ran, his breath ragged and desperate.

The blue sky above. It reminded him of Mahiru’s eyes.

The saturated grass. It reminded him of the hope Mahiru always carried.

A small white cloud lazily across the sky. It reminded him of the kiss she had placed on his cheek under the umbrella, that quiet, perfect moment when time had seemed to stand still.

No matter where he looked, he could only see Mahiru.

A painting on the Grand Wall of two men kissing each other, a symbol of love defying everything. Of course, it reminded him of the kisses he’d shared with Mahiru.

Mahiru, Mahiru, Mahiru.

His entire mind was consumed by a single word.

They had to meet again.

No, they absolutely would meet again.

After all, their love for each other was so strong that it could tear down any wall standing between them.

When he approached the gate to the other side, he was prepared to fight anyone who dared stop him.

The crowd was thicker than usual today. Usually, nobody would dare come near the wall. But for some reason, dozens of guards and policemen were right in front of him.

And amidst all these people…

“Yuuna?” Kousei asked, perplexed.

“Oh, hey there, bro. What are you doing here?” she greeted him casually, her phone in hand.

“Uhm, I should be the one asking you that.”

“Ah, you know, not doing much.” Yuuna flashed him a wide grin, one that seemed even bigger than usual. “Just saving your future wife and every single person in the East.”