Some Finality

The first runaway night came.
After eating another dinner prepared by yours truly, I set John to brainstorm for the next few chapters as I got to drawing his ideas out.

I would usually need to do both processes at once, even with James assisting me, but now that I can hand this task of organizing the plot ideas to someone else, this means that my drawings can get the full attention they deserve. This was something I was looking forward to. Drawing allows for the emotions I cannot fully express to come out. As an outlet, it is top tier.

That’s what I’m hoping this brainstorming is for John too. He needs to let his emotions out soon. That's just a fact of life at this point. He has let out bits and pieces here and there, like with how he let out some tears at the last dinner I made him, but that must be nothing in comparison to the years of repressed emotions he’s been holding in.

So please, John, make good use of this chance I’m giving you.

And yet, when I glance over at him, those fingers do not move. His eyes remain empty, just as they have since I saw him return. Something must have happened that shook him during his walk in the university. That's the only conclusion I can come to, since he will not speak a word to me. He only replied to me in “Hm.” and “Mhm.”
It’s even getting to me now. This cannot go on.

   “Hey.”
I tried to poke him with words once more. He remains unmoving, still staring at that keyboard.
    “Hey.”
I tried again. The word reflects throughout the room, thanks to the award paneled walls. Even this did not cause him to react.
Feeling some kind of frustration, I stood up, went over to his left side and poked his cheek.
    “Hey.”
Still no response. He doesn't even blink. It’s like he’s totally blanked out. But why? Why did he revert back to this state? I thought we fixed him a little over the last few days.
This feeling of mine is at its limit. I can’t take it anymore. My arms practically throw themselves around him, causing a hug from the back to naturally occur.
    “Hey.”
I poke him verbally one last time, with my arms wrapped around him. This time his head shakes a little.
    “What?”
He responded meekly.
    “What happened?”

…
He took a while to respond.
    “I saw someone I shouldn't have. Considering how I failed I shouldn't have seen her.”
    “Ah. How did she respond?”
    “I don’t remember.”
A lie.
    “Why do you feel this way?”
    “Because this was a mission set out by her, and I failed.”
    “How did you fail?”
    “This is the second time I failed to meet someone’s expectations.”
I’m sure he means the expectations of himself. Amelia couldn't have set this weird goal of his on him, right?
    “You didn’t want to fail, no?”
    “Of course not.”
    “So tell me then. What are you going to do to fix that?”
    “Fix…? I was going to just stop.”
    “Even though stopping wasn’t going to fix anything?”
    “Well…”

He paused again.
My arms remain around him. I don’t let go. This is the only thing I can do for him right now. It's the only thing no one has done for him for years.

…
After a while, he began to speak once more.
    “You’re right. Yeah. You’re right.”
I heard him sniff a little.
    “Thank you. Really. Thank you.”
A thug on my left arm can be felt. It’s the second time he’s cried around me, second time in a week. That must be more than the last few years for him.

After he let some of those feelings out, he spoke once more.

    “I’m sorry for everything. I thought I could escape the guilt, but now that I think about it, that guilt of failure might follow me into the afterlife.”
    “That’s right. That’s why you need to fix that, starting from today.”
    “Yeah. I’m so stupid.”
    “No, just misguided. You know your path now.”
    “Kind of. I’ll still need someone to guide me.”
All of this has been stuff I’ve never really felt before. I don’t remember having a heart to heart like this with Father. It’s been years since Mom even contacted me, so I have no comparison there.
I like this warm feeling. Not only the warmth of this touch, but these feelings too.

Ah.
I failed to notice that he wasn’t the only one lacking this warmth.
I was too.

    “I’ll be there to guide you, as long as you stick by my side too.”
    “Haha. You really need me for your comic, don’t you?”
    “I can’t live without you.”
    “Now that’s an over-exaggeration if I ever heard one.”
    “It’s appropriate for the situation, shush.”

This warm feeling is something we should have looked for a long time ago. Well, you can’t fix past mistakes. You can only work towards the future.
After that heartfelt moment, we got back to work. There was a chapter due this week, after all.

However.
A stern knock on the door stopped all of that.
    “Who could it be at this hour?”
John asked this obvious question as he made his way towards the door. His face grew confused as he peeked at the peephole, then opened the door.
    “Can I help you?”
    “I need to speak to my daughter.”
I felt my soul drop out of my body once that voice reverberated into my ears.

Why is Father here?

    “Your daughter? Who are you, sir?”
    “Of course you wouldn't know. Please move aside.”
    “Only if you tell me who you are, sir.”
    “Ronan Bedwyn. Alice’s father. Now, step aside.”

John did so with caution.
Father stepped into the award covered room.
    “Such presentation. You were right to set this room up in such a way. I am impressed.”
He let out a single clap.
    “Those would be my thoughts if I were of good mood. However, since my rebellious daughter is here, and the man I tried to break remains unbroken, you could say that my kettle is boiled.”
    “What kind of metaphor is that?”
I just had to ask.
    “The kindest one I could think of in the moment. Now then. Alice Bedwyn. I command you to return to your place of residence at once.”
    “I refuse.”
I stood up to match his energy. I remember how he trained me to obey his commands. Those trainings never sat with me fully. It never felt right.
This is what allowed me to stand straight against his fuming anger.
    “Alice Bedwyn. Not only are you behind on your studies, you have violated all of the plans I have painstakingly laid out for you. This behaviour is beyond outrageous. Again, I command-”
    “Jesus, old man. Can you take a hint already?”
    “Old man? You dare speak to me in that way?”

He snapped towards John, who was leaning on the doorway. His apartment door remained open.
    “The term would be accurate, no?”
    “Doesn’t matter. I have a lineage far greater than yours, which demands respect at all times. Of course a commoner like you wouldn't know that. Even so, your insults will not be tolerated.”
Father began to step towards John with a raised hand.

Is he THAT pissed off? Just what has gotten to him?

Instinctively I tried to rush to John, only to be outmatched by Father’s speed. He is a big and bulky man, so a punch from him would send John flying.I flicnhed at the sheer speed of the punch Father threw.

...
And yet, post punch, John stood there as if nothing happened, with Father standing in shock.

    “I knew those self-defense classes would come in handy! Yes! I never got to show this off to anyone. I thank you for this opportunity, sir!”
Just what kind of comeback is that?
No. Just what is this?
    “So, I can’t touch you physically and spiritually. Just who are you?”
I can’t believe my eyes.

He stood up with a smirk that I’ve never seen before, with an energy that can only be described as bright as a newborn star.

    “Heh. The name’s John Smyth, Sir!.”
He even did a little bow.
The man actually bested my Father.
    “STOOOOOOP!!”
Amelia and George come running into the opened door, only for their jaws to drop.
    “Ah. More people have come along to witness this performance?”
John turned around to greet the two.
    “Hello George, Mother. Former mother. Amelia.”
    “Did you really have to say those?”
    “I’m not too sure. I just felt like it.”
A sigh left Amelia.
    “Whatever. Sir Bedwyn, you didn’t just throw a punch at a student, no?”
    “What? I would never.”
    “Please, sir. Do not lie. You already have witnesses here. Also, little known fact, this apartment complex has cameras facing each door.”
Oh. That's why he kept the door open.
Father looked at John, dumbfounded.
    “I tried to hire you. If you can outsmart me like that, then you’d make a great asset.”
    “Sir, in all due respect, you need to stop thinking of people as assets.”
    “Yeah!”
I found myself suddenly jumping and shouting.
    “Father! You have been an asshole!”
I said it. I said what I was feeling. Finally.
    “Ah. I have tried to set out a path for you-”
    “But I never wanted it! Don’t you see?! I already have something I’m chasing!”
    "But there is a set path-"
    "This is the one I'm going to follow, Father. You can't change that."
I've put my foot down. Father sees this clearly.
He pauses to think for a moment, then he opens his mouth to-