Epilogue: My Miklagardia Days

 “In my heart?” I said dumbly.

“That’s right! We have a saying here in Miklagardia! You can think with your heart in a fight, but if you think with your head, you’ll get hurt,” Nika lectured

“What on earth does that mean?”

Nika bopped me on the head.

“Ow!” I cried.

“It means if you overthink things too much, you’ll get hurt.”

“That was something Melissa would do.”

“Maybe she’s rubbing off on me.”

“Now there’s someone I can confidently say I’ll never understand.”

“You’re not alone there. Sometimes, I can’t understand her either!”

We both laughed at that.

“So what am I supposed to do to think with my heart or whatever?” I asked.

“It means you need to find something you love, something you’ll care about so deeply that you realize it’s a part of you. Something you’d do anything to protect. When you find it, all those things you couldn’t comprehend, the things that caused you so much confusion and heartache, you’ll finally understand them. And then you’ll understand us, and we’ll finally be able to understand one another.”

“Sounds pretty vague. I’m pretty skeptical of all this.”

Not to mention cheesy. Love would help me get over the boundaries between? Sounds like something you’d see in one of those sappy romcoms.

“You just need time! Miklagardia wasn’t built in a day, you know!” Nika confidently said as she gazed out at the city. “Miklagardia was built off the hopes and dreams of our ancestors, and those ancestors had children, who were part of that dream. And those children had children, and they passed on their love and dreams to us. That’s why I’m sure you’ll find it! This is the land of all our hopes and dreams! You’ll find what you need, and I’ll be at your side, helping you all the way.”

Geez. That. That was intense. I feel like I’m blushing now.

“You’re crazy Nika,” I laughed. “You’re crazy, and you’re amazing.”

“I’d like to say it’s because I’m a Mavrokordatos, but I’m not that amazing.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s times I find it hard too, where it feels like all my efforts are useless. You probably don’t know, my family is pretty well-known in this country.”

I did, but I elected not to say anything.

“As a historic family, we constantly need to live up to our family name. I gave it my all, but my older sister always outdid me. People always said she was the real heir of the Mavrokordatos family.”

“Your sister?”

“Oh yeah, her name’s Athena. She’s a professor and a real math whiz. The two of you would get along great.”

“That so? Is she at the university?”

Nika shook her head. “No, she took a teaching position abroad last year. Thinking back on it, it was really weird. I hear she’s coming back soon though.”

Knowing what I knew, I wonder if it was a permanent assignment. I shook my head and focused on listening to Nika

“It’s always hard when you‘re being compared to someone who’s always better than you. Growing up, everyone only acknowledged me for either my family’s reputation or as a way to get closer to my sister,” Nika sadly reminisced.

My stomach felt like it was sinking. Was it stress? No, maybe I was hungry. It must be a combination of both. Yeah, that’s all that was.

“That’s why I was really happy when I met you. You were a stranger, and I was happy to find someone who didn’t know my family.”

“If it’s that hard, why don’t you give up? You can be your own person.”

Nika shook her head before relying, “I am my own person. Being a Mavrokordatos, a Miklagardian, these are part of me. I couldn’t give them up so easily. I’d be destroying who I was. But still, I only wanted someone to acknowledge my efforts, that I was doing the right thing. I was really happy when you insisted on buying me food when we first met.”

“You were happy over something that small?”

Nika laughed.

“That’s not how we see it in Miklagardia, especially for someone of my status. For people like me, this is simply what we’re obliged to do. I don’t mind it at all, but when you were so insistent on giving me something as a token of thanks, I felt like someone finally acknowledged my efforts. It meant the world to me.”

“Of course I would! You’ve always been Nika to me.”

Yup, a boastful, haughty, arrogant, bizarrely ultranationalist, crazy, neurotic, kind, empathetic, thoughtful, and lovely girl who loved history and spy shows and was bad at math. That was Nika Mavrokordatos. But to me, she’d be Nika first and foremost.

To that, Nika gave me a brilliant smile.

Somehow, I think I finally understood what Nika said about finding those beautiful things with the heart.

I looked into Nika’s eyes. The constellations reflected in them looked so much closer now. It was as if I could reach in and touch them.

“Nika, tomorrow, would you like to go on a date with me?” I asked.

“A date?” she asked back.

“Exactly! So, would you like to go?”

She responded with a gorgeous smile so bright it could rival the intensity of an O-type star.

“I’d love to!” she happily said.

The next day we met in front of my dorm. Nika wore a pretty blouse and skirt while I opted for the T-shirt and jeans I wore when I first came to Miklagardia.

“You seriously wore that?” Nika asked.

“Hey, I have to remind you I’m a foreigner somehow,” I sarcastically replied.

We both laughed.

“We should get you some more clothes,” Nika thought out loud.

“That’s not a bad idea at all.”

I had no destination in mind. I didn’t want to impress her or show off. I only wanted to spend some time with her. As long as I was by her side, I didn’t care where we went. So we walked aimlessly, chatting about our daily lives and random topics that popped into our minds, when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. We were on the edge of a lake, and there was a boat rental shop nearby. It was my lucky day. They were also renting out fishing rods too.

“Nika, have you ever gone fishing before?” I asked

“I actually haven’t. It is a popular hobby here,” she replied

“It’s popular all over, even in Ustasia! Let’s try it. I’ll show you how to do it.”

I rowed us out toward the middle of the lake. It was a warm day, but thankfully not hot enough to burn our skin.

“Do you fish a lot, John?”

“Occasionally. Usually with my dad when he has time. He’s the one that taught me. I’ll show you too. See, what you want to do is—”

I spent some time showing Nika how to properly cast a line. Then came the waiting, and afterwards, the most thrilling part: the reeling!

“John! John! It’s tugging,”

“Alright! Reel it in slowly.”

Eventually, Nika managed to bring it all the way in. It was a big fish.

“I did it! So what now?” she asked.

“Well, do you want to keep it? We could always eat it/”

Nika looked at the fish with pity.

“I don’t want to hurt it!” she cried.

“Let’s send it back home then,” I said as we threw the fish back into the lake.

We repeated the process. It wasn’t the most stimulating activity, but weirdly enough, this was the most fun I had had in a while, maybe even in my life.

I looked over at Nika, who quietly sat next to me, gently smiling in my direction. If I wanted to, I could make a move here and now. It would help the mission.

Yet, something deep inside me didn’t want that at all. I didn’t want to rush things. Right now, I didn’t care about the algorithm, about Nagisa and Olson, about my exams, about the troubles Maria’s family would inevitably give me, or even about being a spy. All I wanted to do was enjoy this moment with Nika by my side. Just the two of us together. I put my arm around her waist as I helped her cast out the rod again.

I thought back to all of the people I had met in my brief stay in Miklagardia. There was Nika, Melissa, Tatiana and Io, the international coordinator—I really needed to learn her name at some point, the students and staff at the elementary school, and Father Salamis. There were so many people I had met, and so many people in this country that were looking out for me. So many people I was looking out for. So many people I was going to meet.

There were going to be fun times and hard times. I understood that for sure. It was against my usual instincts, but at this moment, I had the feeling that with everyone’s support, everything was going to work out for the best. I knew it in my heart.

My Miklagardia days were looking bright!