The Blessing

The nature of a curse truly was complex.

There were many factors that have to be considered. Intention. Action. Anger. Bitterness. Pain. Aarik had them in spades. And that wretchedness was reflected back on to him. The creature that stood before him was a being of pure essence.

It took what Aarik naturally possessed. And simply did as it said it would; gave unto him what was his.

The Xolotl turned. It moved with slow and deliberate steps. All the way until it reached the tiny little creature. It leaned down, snout gently pressed to the Xolotl puppy.

The puppy’s tail began to weakly wag. It snuffled softly. Little paws twitched and moved, trying to rise. It failed, trapped on it’s side. A tiny heartbeat growing weak, eyes still filled with unshaken love.

Sthuna closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see this.

The Xolotl moved. He heard the click of the claws as it drew closer. The scent of ozone and burning cedar strengthened. He didn't even try to rise. Whatever this creature did to him was well deserved. 

But it did not bite. 

It did not tear out his neck. 

It did not attempt to create a curse within him.

Instead, it bumped up against Sthuna’s flank. Up. Up, up, up, pressing to his chest. Sthuna did not have the energy to recoil as it brushed the bloody wound at his chest. A soft, wet tongue ran over his injury.

The Xolotl was looking directly at him. Straight into his soul.

“C a t u l a …”

The voice was softer now. Tempered by something he felt in his bones. Grief laced with mercy.

The memory shattered.

It could bear the weight of emotion no longer. The anguish was too great. The moment was too charged. It collapsed and disintegrated into thousands of scintillating pieces of memory, each sharp enough to cut. Sthuna knew what followed. The stillness, the quiet that was too quiet, that consumed the room. The Xolotl, and the decision it made not to kill him.

Both Sthuna and Eyna were forced out from the fold of dreams and memories, torn from the fabric that had held them captive in reverie. It was a jarring sensation. To be so immersed in a moment that one no longer retained their sense of self. And then to suddenly be aware of the world around them.

For a moment, Sthuna was totally blind. He couldn't see anything. He was just reeling from the shock of his own memories, his keen senses drowning in a cloying sea of reminiscence. The evocation of emotion at the very source. He always carried the memories with him, of course. But reliving them was an entirely different beast.

Eyna was crying. He knew, for he could feel her tears falling like rain on his scales.

His voice is as rough and ragged as if it had been dragged over glass. “It…. it was-”

His words cut themselves off. What was there to say?

“I saw it all, Sthuna. With you.” She sounded devastated. Shattered.

“Yes.”

“The being… The…. The Xolotl. It called you catula.”

“... yes. I don't know what it means. But I'm sure that it was something… I deserved.”

“Oh… No, that’s…” Her emerald eyes were soft. “Sweetest Sthuna… Catula... It..." She choked on the words. "It means puppy. The Xolotl called you puppy. Just like it’s little one.”

The realization seemed to make her cry even harder.

Sthuna drew a blank.

“That's a lie. That’s a… A lie. I brought him there. I brought Aarik. I started that hunt. I started it, Eyna!” His voice raised to a snarl. Sthuna did not deserve forgiveness. There was no world in which that being would use the same words to describe him as it’s own little one. The one who had died because of his weakness. He should’ve stopped it. He should have known.

Her eyes wobbled with unshed tears. “That wasn't your fault. You didn't know.”

“It carried you. It protected you.”

“No, it didn’t.”

“Sthuna…”

“Whatever curse it was that was placed on me, I deserve it. Even if it-” Sthuna choked on his words. There was a flicker. The image of Aarik. His face had twisted. The feeling of the spear in his chest. The betrayal was still raw. An existing wound, only made worse by the act of remembering.

Eyna held him tightly. “Sthuna… Don’t you see? It wasn’t a curse. It was never a curse.”

He froze.

Not a curse?

All this time?

“... then what…”

Eyna stroked the scales of his neck. “I think… It might have actually been a blessing.”

He grit his teeth. “Don’t mock me, Eyna. Don’t you dare.”

Her hands stopped stroking. She instead clasped his snout, forcing him to look her in the eye. “I want you to think about it. Truly think about it. Do you remember the moment we first met?”

He did.

A strange girl who reached out to him through the waters. Eyes like emeralds. A hand outstretched to him in his time of greatest need.

He had a way of completely draining the anger from him.

Eyna continued. “What were you thinking about? What did you want at that moment?”

“I…” His tail swayed slowly. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be himself. He didn't want to be a dragon. It was hard for him to think about it. Let alone say the words.

Eyna was quiet. Waiting without judgement. “I'll tell you what I wanted. I wanted to help you. ‘I can’t let anything bad happen to you’. That’s what I wanted most earnestly. Even before I knew who you were.”

His voice was rough and low when he spoke. “I... Wanted to not be me.”

Her hands squeezed at his sides. “Oh Sthuna…”

He could hear the way his own assertions seemed to pain her. It was thick in her voice.

“Sthuna…”

“Magic works in strange ways. I wanted to be there for you. You wanted to not be you.” Eyna gently placed her claws over his, lining up her scales and his skin. “I think we… Got what we wanted. Maybe what we needed.”

Not a curse.

A blessing.

Eyna leaned down. She pressed the faintest ghost of a kiss to his snout. “... And you know what I want right now?”

He didn't speak. Just looked up at her.

“The same thing. The exact same thing I wanted on that day.”

“Me… Too.”

Something fell into place. Things that were set into motion from that very first meeting. The walls around his hearts finally cracked. And as they did, it was nothing but abundant and radiant light that poured into it.