Love Hotel

Well… I did it.

Despite all the warnings from my friends and family, I really went and did it. I met up with a girl I met on a dating app. Or… rather, I was waiting to meet up with a girl I met on a dating app. She was now 5 minutes late. If I’m being honest, that kind of gave me a bad first impression of her, and you know that they say: first impressions are everything.

Her name is Yuna. Similarly to me, she’s an adult woman in the corporate world. We both took the time out of our busy and unfulfilling schedules to meet. We’d started talking a few weeks back–bonding over our feelings of burnout from work, and our ever-growing loneliness in society.

I’d never quite bonded as strongly with anyone as I had with her.

It was for that reason that I found myself overjoyed to meet her.

Our meetup spot was smack-dab in the middle of Shichirigahama Station, per her request. I wish we’d chosen somewhere else, though, as the station was noticeably busy today. I suppose the reason was that children and teenagers were off to school. The knapsacks and shoulder bags surrounding me certainly reinforced that idea.

Not to mention the fact that it was almost 7 am.

Another minute or so passed, and my worries only further grew. I worried that maybe she was already here–that she was waiting for me and had been overshadowed by the endless students. Not even a full ten seconds later, after I pulled out my phone to text her, I felt a tug at the back of my blazer.

Then a voice, clearly directed at me, followed.

But what I heard wasn’t the “I’m so happy to be finally meeting you,” or “I’ve been waiting for you!” That I expected. No.

The first words that left her mouth when she spoke to me were:

“I don’t want to go out with you… Can we just be friends?”

I was… perplexed. Why? Why now? Did my apparel turn her off? Was it my looks? What the hell was it about me? She was so eager over text! We met on a fucking dating app, now… she doesn’t want to date? How does that even work? I finally found someone who matched my interests. Someone who accepted me no matter what I put at the forefront. Now, right as something was beginning to bloom–she wanted to call it off?

I thought that I might get a shot at love.

Better yet, maybe even something more than a lover. Someone to help me navigate the stress and fatigue from work.

But that wasn’t the case…

I had yet to turn around, as her words quite literally stunned me. But when I did, and slightly lowered my head to compensate for the height difference, for a moment, I forgot that I was even upset to begin with.

One single thought. One single idea coursed through my mind.

“... CUTE!”

I said a little louder than I meant to, causing the people nearby to turn their heads in confusion. But… it was true! She was so… adorable. The pictures she sent me didn’t even hold a candle to her looks in person! She was short–shorter than me, and her style was so… so cool. She came off as almost boyish, yet feminine where it mattered. Her exterior alone was enough to captivate me. But now, I found myself upset for a different reason. A girl this cute was destined to become my girlfriend.

She NEEDED to become my girlfriend. No matter what.

So, in one swift motion, I bowed my head towards her and recited:

“Yuna. Please. WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?”

Well… Maybe the screaming wasn’t necessary.

This was the second time now, and the people around us certainly weren’t any happier than the first. But the most upset of them all had to be Yuna.

Upset might not have been the right word. The word I was looking for is flustered.

Yes. The most flustered of them all had to have been Yuna.

Her face broke out into a deep crimson color, and her arms fell to her sides like they’d given out. Something about the way she silently tried to stop me, while also signaling to everyone around that it was alright, was so… Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. She was so cute!

Before I could finish basking in her glory, Yuna grabbed my sleeve and tugged me along, seeming ready to switch locations. She was clearly still flustered. Upset, even.

Under her breath–as she dragged me along, I’d heard her mutter:

“Geez, Shoko… you were a lot more tame over texts, you know?”

Then she paused, seemingly thinking about whether she wanted to continue speaking.

Then

“I kind of liked that aspect of you a little more.”

Before I knew it, she was no longer within my field of vision. All I could see was the image of my shoes. I was upset at myself for attempting to force her to be my girlfriend when she’d openly told me that she only wanted to be friends.

Deep in my heart, I didn’t want to let her go. I was starved… of love. I got a little taste of it, then jolted for more. That said a lot about me, didn’t it?

I wasn’t always this transparent.

Yuna dragged me along by the sleeve for 10 or so minutes. I was sure that the people we passed by thought I was a dog, or something. At this point, this day couldn’t get any weirder, I thought.

But then…

“Here we are, Shoko.”

She’d taken me to a coffee shop. Not a bad spot for a first date. Or…hang out, I thought. But right as I began pacing towards the coffee shop, she tugged the back of my blazer, once again.

“Not there, Yuna… there.”

She pointed. I followed her arms, and to my surprise… the end of her finger landed directly on… a LOVE HOTEL?

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Don’t tell me. She… she didn’t want to be lovers, but instead… FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

“You… you don’t strike me as that type of girl, Yuna…”

“Mmm? What do you mean?”

“I… I don’t know if I can be in that type of relationship with you…”

She paused, looking perplexed, almost as if I’d just spoken words utterly incomprehensible to her.

Then, moments later, her face grew red, as if something had clicked.

“What. Are. You. Talking. About? I just want to take a nap…”

I… I could not believe her.

At this point, I was wondering why she even showed up. Not only did she immediately crush all my hopes and dreams, but then–then! The gall of this girl to want to take a nap… IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR DATE… I MEAN HANGOUT… ARGH… DATE-OUT! UGH! I was getting frustrated again.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go!

Nonetheless, somehow, someway, I found myself in a love hotel, with my date: a cute, yet slightly ditzy adult woman, just like myself, sleeping peacefully as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

Looking at her as she slept softly, I wondered what would become of our relationship. I couldn’t see encounters like this becoming a recurring thing. Why? Because we were two adults, working every inch of our fleeting lives away.

All that to say that we simply didn’t have the time.

This would likely be the last time we ever saw each other. So I made sure to burn the image of this beautiful girl resting softly into my mind.

If I couldn’t be granted a relationship, then I’d simply have to settle for this.

“Hahhh. I just wanted a girlfriend!”