Oh shit! It's shonen

"Oh fuck", I thought while walking to my seat.

To my right sits one of the three girls I met. Her name is Asta. Behind her is the second one, whose name is Bente. Behind me sits Dinna, the third of the girls. Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the fact that these girls are sitting near me. Sitting near girls is the peak of what an introverted otaku like me can do. My only problem is that to my left...sits...Dem. The fucking Dem. The guy is so dumb you would confuse him with Nentendo from the anime: Aiki S. Of course, he isn't exactly the same as Nentendo because that would be plagiarism. And do not tell me "it's good to have at least one boy-friend", I've watched enough harem anime with male deuteragonists to know where this is going.

The door opened and the teacher came to the classroom. As usual, he looked at us and started talking. Unusually though, he gave leaves to each of us.

"As you all know", he said, "There are different kinds of spirits. Spirits that would grant an ability to use water magic. Spirits that would grant an ability to use wind magic and more. At a certain age, the spirit would choose to settle on a child, granting this child the ability to use magic. By now, all of you should already have a spirit inside you. What you need to do now is to find out what kind of magic you use. Concentrate, and the magic will come naturally out of you. Use magic on the leaves I gave you"

The kids in the classroom took the leaves, and as the teacher thought, it wasn't hard for them to use magic. Asta was the first of four of us who succeeded. The leaf she took became hot and black. It was obvious that she had fire magic. Then Dem, whose leaf became wet, for he uses water magic. Dinna's leaf didn't change but the tiny sands that came with the leaf moved, suggesting that she has rock magic. Bente's leaf became black, just like Asta's, meaning she also had fire magic. Then...there was me. The leaf didn't change no matter what I tried. It didn't move nor anything.

"Why isn't your leaf changing?", Dinna asked.

"Huh? Your leaf must be broken", said Dem while pushing his head against mine.

"That isn't how leaves work, you idiot", I said, "And get off me"

"Hey teacher, the leaf doesn't change", I said.

"Well, it could be that none of the spirits have chosen you. If that is the case, you should try to train with a sword instead", the teacher answered.

"Does that mean you can't use any magic?", Dem asked.

"Well, idiot, what do you think?", I said.

"I can't use any magic?", I said in my head, "Well, for what then was I even reincarnated to this world? I don't want to be like some fucking BroccoLee from Haruto. I don't like sports. Oh shit, don't tell me I have to train like some crazy-ass Super Hayian to 'prove' that I'm capable of fighting. Wait, isn't there already an anime where the main character can't use magic? What was it again…White Clover? I only watched like three episodes of it and dropped. Bruh, I swear if I'm Atsa Fuckaria I would give up on this shit and end this novel. I don't even have to do it myself. The copyright laws would do it for me. Then again, this could be the start of some kind of villain arc. Oh shit, I'm gonna be a villain! I'm gonna use my nerd powers to create a gun and turn this into that one anime where the Japanese defense force fought the medieval guys"

"Hey, class ended. Come. Let's go to the schoolyard", Dem said.

"Shut up, idiot. I'm gonna shoot this school", I said.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget it", I said while walking to the schoolyard.

At the yard, there were kids already practicing their magic.

"Try touching Asta's hand!", Dinna shouted.

We touched her hand, which was quite hot. The color of her skin didn't change but remained brownish like usual. It was only the temperature of her hand that changed.

"Can you try to do it with your whole body?", I asked.

"I will try", said Asta while trying to lead the energy inside of her to her whole body.

I could tell from her face that it was a lot harder which didn't actually surprise me. A whole body is bigger than a mere hand, after all.

I touched her forehead and her hand again and it seemed that the forehead was a little bit colder than the hand. Not to mention that the hand was also colder than it was before.

"This could mean that the energy the 'spirit' gives is only limited", I thought, "Otherwise the hand would be as hot as it was before"

"When is the school gonna end? I have to pee", Dem said.

"Can't you just pee somewhere in the yard?", I said, "There shouldn't be any rule for not peeing in the school"

"I don't know", Dem said, "I have to pee. I have to pee!"

"Urgh, could you please shut up!", I shouted at Dem, "And don't yell that as everyone is hearing! Instead of saying 'pee', say you want to sing or something. Yelling ‘pee’ will make us look weird"

"Doesn't yelling 'I want to sing' would also make us look weird?", Dinna said.

"It will but it will less", I said.

After school, we said goodbye to each other as each of us parted ways. The sun was shining bright and hot like every day which was probably why everyone's skin was so brownish.

I got home and was about to immediately go to bed but then I heard my father's footsteps. He invited me to eat and so I did. I walked to the dining room and saw a big wooden table. There was nothing special on it. Just the usual meats and mushrooms, which makes me think that perhaps we are poor.

"Was Atsa poor?", I asked myself while thinking about White Clover, "Wait, wasn't Atsa an orphan?"

"Father, am I adopted?", I asked.

"No? Why did you ask that?", my father asked.

"In school, everybody else was able to use magic but I wasn't"

"What does that have anything to do with you being adopted?"

"Nothing. Just forget that part. Why am I not able to use magic?"

"Well, the power to use magic is granted by the spirits. Every place has its own spirits. I was born in another village so perhaps, because of my blood, the spirits of this village didn't recognize you as worthy"

"Wait, what village were you from?"

"It is a village far from this place. I don't know what else to tell you"

“Well, smartass, how about the place’s name, location on the map, or something useful”, I said in my head.

"If I go there, would I be able to use magic?", I asked.

"I don't know but it is really far away"

"Wait, how about my mother? Where was she from?"

"Well, unlike me, she was from here"

"Then why didn't her blood attract the spirits?!"

"I don't know. But if you are concerned with your fighting skills, I can teach you how to fight with swords instead"

That night, I went to sleep with a lot of questions in my head: "where is that place exactly?" and "will I be able to use magic if I go there?". One thing was still certain for me: this anime is some kind of shitty shonen and I'm not having it.

"Shit, I guess I really have to train like some madass Super Haiyan", I said in my head while going to sleep.

And the moon left and the sun came as the new day arrived. I went to school like usual and the teacher talked like usual. My mind didn't work at all since I was still thinking about how I now must accept the fact that I'm gonna have to exercise like crazy in order to become someone "strong".

"Teacher!", Dem said in the middle of the lecture.

"What?", the teacher answered with a question.

"Can I leave? I have to sing"

"Why do you want to sing?"

"I just have to"

"Can you not sing here?"

"Can I?"

"What do you want to sing?"

"I...I don't know?"

"Well come here then. Sing to my ear first"

And that he indeed did.