“Was that it?”

(Past Friends Arc | Chapter 3 - Finale)

Turns out that I was wrong. We wouldn’t be having a conversation in the middle of the convenience store. In case you were wondering where we’d talk, well… me too!

Maria simply told me to ‘just follow’ her, which was what I was doing. We’d been walking for around 10 or so minutes now, in complete silence. She walked in front of me, and hadn't turned around a single time. I began wondering if maybe she was upset.

All this because someone needed ice cream. Hahh.

“...Abo…ut i…t?

While I was distracted, the girl began speaking. I hadn’t a clue what she said, as she spoke quite low.

“...I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

“Geez, May. At least listen to me when I’m speaking, will you?” She said with her arms gleefully placed behind her back, standing just like she had all those years ago.

…The manner in which she was speaking, all the way down to her posture and facial expressions—It couldn’t be… Was she trying to… appeal to me?

Feeling flustered at that thought, I remained silent. Noticing this, she then continued.

“Do you still think about it? About what happened between us?”

Wow. Blunt, I thought. She skipped past all the formalities, and immediately began speaking about the past. Part of that made me wonder if she’d been waiting for this day. I’d be lying if I said that at least a part of me, deep down, hadn’t been waiting as well.

I tried my best to deflect her question—turning it into a question of my own.

“... How about you, Maria?”

She pouted, then crossed her arms, seemingly understanding what I was attempting to do.

“May, that’s no fair. I asked you, you know?”
“Ah, sorry, sorry. Well, I—”

“I do.” She interrupted.

“I do all the time.”

Before letting me talk, she continued going, even further, as if she’d been waiting to say her peace for a while.

“May, you know…”

Her voice cracked. Her vigour already ran dry. “I’m sorry for how I ended things. I… I shouldn’t have told you tha—”

“It’s fine.”

I immediately chimed in. I didn’t want to hear anymore. If she broke out into a tirade, nothing but memories of the past would resurrect to haunt me.

“It’s okay. I’ve long since left those feelings in the past.”

Why did I say that? That blatant lie. I wasn’t fooling anyone besides myself.

We further continued moving in silence until we reached the park. The same park that I’d often visit with Emi. Rather than sitting on the bench, we sat under a tree—opposite to the bench I’d sit at with Emi.

As we sat down next to each other under the shade, she fixed her posture, then picked up right where she left off.

“I thought that life… would have a little bit more in store for me.”

She said, with a deep reflective look in her eyes.

“When I ended things, I hurt you. I should’ve told you how I really felt. About our relationship—about my feelings—about—”

As she continued apologizing, at some point I began blurring her voice. I understood what she was saying, but I couldn’t help but feel hints of anger. Why?

Why now?

She took so lo—

“...May. I want to try again.”

She said, staring directly at me, with that sharp, yet deep gaze of hers.

While she sat there—staring at me with those pearly eyes of hers, I had to wonder.

What exactly did she see? Who exactly did she see?

For a second, my body froze. Everything from my legs up chilled, and my mouth grew increasingly dry.

My skin felt itchy—yet at the same time, I had no urge to scratch it.

That one line of hers was enough to yank me directly back to reality.

Was this it? Was this what I’d been waiting for? The girl that I loved… the girl I felt so deeply for… I could try again.

Was that what she really wanted me to think?

I intended to go off on her for being insensitive, but I had to remember.

We weren’t just college students anymore. We were adults. Yelling at her—cursing her—none of those things would get us anywhere. I had to make sure I was heard.

The feelings that I left to submerge deep within my being from all those years ago came to surface. The me that wanted love, and the me that wanted to be heard conflicted.

They clashed—sending sparks flying with every strike.

But the one that came out victorious was the me of the present.

It was a losing battle for the past me to begin with.

Truly, the past couldn’t hold a candle to the present.

“Maria… I. I can’t go out with you again.”

Her neutral face gradually shifted into a smile, like she’d been waiting for me to say that.

I then continued.

“I loved you in the past. And if I’m being honest, I might even still love you now. But I just can’t.”

I averted my gaze from her, and looked at the ice cream, then memories of a girl—most likely still waiting for me in front of that fan raced through my mind.

I stood up, then patted the front and back of my pants—getting rid of all the grass and leaves that fell on me.

She stood up in complete silence, but didn’t seem sad. The opposite, in fact. She seemed… relieved?

She allowed me to go without as much as saying a final word, and just like all those years ago, we departed in complete silence.

Just as I began making my way back home, I finally understood.

She didn’t actually want to try again, and she wasn’t upset, either.

She wanted me to turn her down. She wanted me to put my true feelings into words.

She simply wanted me to leave the past in the past.

She did all that… for me?

…While it wasn’t the romantic kind of love, surely, that had to be some kind of love. I was sure of it. Before I knew it, I found myself grateful for our encounter. Something came from us meeting, after all.

I opened the door to our tiny abode, and just like before, the girl was rotting on the floor, awaiting my return. Without even saying a word, I handed her the ice cream—waited for her to open it—then took pride in her reaction.

“AH, MEI! IT’S FUCKING MELTED!”

“Sorry! Sorry!”

I laughed, as she rolled around on the floor in a hissy-fit.

She hadn’t changed while I was gone. She was still the same girl I chose to run away with.

Throughout my whole entire being—I felt a jolt of electricity, then warmth. It was a feeling like no other. A feeling that could only be produced while I was in her presence.

Then, almost as a conclusion to everything that happened today, I received a notification on my phone. When I opened it, I noticed that I was now a part of a group chat. The members being:

Tomoe.

Chloe.

And last but not least.

Maria.

“Past friends, huh?”

I said aloud, causing Emi to turn her head in confusion.

“...It would be nice to see them again.”