Steppenwolf

Scene: A Night of Whiskey and Hesse – Jessica and Sam Discuss Steppenwolf

The night was cool, the air heavy with the scent of salt and rain-soaked wood. The storm had passed, leaving the porch damp, but neither of them moved inside. A lantern flickered between them, casting long shadows. Jessica sat cross-legged on the steps, a half-smoked cigarette dangling between her fingers. Sam leaned back in his chair, swirling the last of his whiskey in his glass. The book sat between them, well-worn, pages dog-eared.

Jessica smirked, nodding toward it. Steppenwolf. “So, is this your way of telling me I’m having an identity crisis?”

Sam took a slow sip before answering. “You tell me.”

Jessica scoffed, exhaling smoke into the night. “Haller thinks he’s two people. Half-man, half-wolf. Trapped between what society wants him to be and what he really is.” She tilted her head. “Yeah. I get it.”

Sam watched her. “But?”

Jessica’s smirk faded slightly. “But he spends the whole book trying to convince himself that he’s both, and neither. That he’s outside everything. A man apart.” She took another drag, then flicked the cigarette into the sand. “That’s where we part ways.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You think you’re just one thing?”

Jessica let out a dry laugh. “I want to be.”

Sam leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “You don’t think everyone carries more than one version of themselves?”

Jessica stared at the horizon. “I think Haller wanted an excuse. A reason for why he didn’t fit. He needed a label—something to explain why he didn’t belong anywhere. The truth was simpler.” She met Sam’s gaze. “He was just afraid to live.”

Sam nodded slowly. “And you’re not?”

Jessica let out a breath, rubbing a hand over her jaw. “I used to be.”

Sam studied her, quiet for a long moment. Then, carefully: “And now?”

Jessica exhaled, stretching out her legs. “Now, I don’t know if it matters.”

Sam watched her for a beat, then smirked slightly. “You realize Hesse would’ve agreed with you.”

Jessica huffed a laugh. “Yeah?”

Sam nodded. “Haller thought he was trapped between two halves. But the Magic Theater? That’s where he realizes he’s more than that. That he’s not just two things—he’s a thousand things. Every self he’s ever been, every choice, every contradiction.” He gestured at her. “That’s you, too.”

Jessica gave him a look. “So I’m a wolf now?”

Sam chuckled. “No. You’re everything you’ve ever been. And everything you choose to be next.”

Jessica was quiet. She picked up the book, flipping absently through the pages before stopping on a passage. She read it aloud, voice low:

“Man is not an entity, not one, but a multiplicity. He is like a room, a chamber of many doors. He must learn not to think of himself as single, but as manifold.”

She set the book down, staring at it for a moment. Then, slowly, she shook her head. “Maybe Haller wasn’t as much of a coward as I thought.”

Sam smirked. “Maybe not.”

Jessica glanced at him. “Or maybe I just don’t have the luxury of pretending I’m only one thing anymore.”

Sam raised his glass. “To the thousand selves.”

Jessica clinked hers against his, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.

“For better or worse.”

And for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel like she was standing outside herself anymore.