Chapter 4: Rich, Stressed, and Now I Have a Wolfgirl

Dragging a soaking wet wolf girl across polished marble was not how I pictured spending my evening, but apparently my life had stopped consulting me before making decisions.

Lunaria trotted beside me happily, dripping all over the floor like this was an exciting guided tour instead of a crime against expensive interior design. Her silver hair clung to her shoulders. Her tail wagged hard enough to fling water in every direction. I left a trail of footprints. She left a disaster zone.

“You’re lucky I don’t charge extra for water damage,” I muttered.

She looked up at me and beamed like I’d complimented her.

That was not encouraging.

By the time we reached the living room, I was already tired. The room itself was still absurdly large, all velvet furniture, clean glass, and enough open space to host a small formal event if I ever developed the urge to become unbearable. I shoved Lunaria onto the couch and crossed my arms.

“Start talking.”

She sat there dripping into the cushion, ears twitching, blinking at me with the kind of innocent expression that usually belonged on small animals and people about to lie very badly.

Before I could get another word out, the doors slammed open.

“Little Mistress!”

Chester came in first, silver dagger already in hand, because apparently “hearing a splash” translated directly into “draw steel.” Zach and Randy stormed in right behind him, each armed with a taser and the sort of energy usually associated with men who had rehearsed heroism in the mirror.

“Are you alright?!” Zach shouted.

“We heard suspicious activity!” Randy added. “I brought pepper spray!”

“I’m fine,” I said flatly. “Put all of that away.”

The three of them stopped.

Then their eyes landed on Lunaria.

There was a long silence.

She waved.

“Hi!”

Zach leaned slightly toward Randy without taking his eyes off her.

“…Is that a tail?”

“And ears,” Randy whispered back.

“Are we sure this isn’t some kind of costume emergency?”

“I vote we call animal control,” Randy said.

“Put the phone away before I throw you off the building,” I said.

That did it.

He put the phone away.

Chester, meanwhile, looked far too calm about all of this.

Actually, no.

Not calm.

Mildly bored.

Which was worse.

I turned to him.

“You seem awfully unbothered.”

He slid the dagger away with smooth, practiced ease and adjusted one cuff.

“I have seen stranger things, Little Mistress.”

That sounded like the kind of statement that should have come with legal paperwork and backstory. Unfortunately, I had bigger problems in front of me.

Namely the wolf girl.

Who was now clinging to the edge of the couch and looking at me like I was the last lifeboat on a sinking ship.

“Please let me stay!”

I blinked.

“…What.”

She grabbed the hem of my shirt with both hands.

“I don’t have anywhere to go!”

That stopped me.

Not because I suddenly forgot she had dropped into my rooftop pool like a badly aimed meteor.

Because she looked sincere.

Annoyingly sincere.

“You’re homeless?”

She nodded.

Her ears drooped.

“I got chased out. Well, more like kicked out first and then chased a little after that, but yeah.”

Of course.

Of course the wolf girl who fell out of the sky onto my roof also came with abandonment issues.

I closed my eyes for a second and pressed two fingers to my forehead.

This was exactly the kind of situation I was not equipped to handle. Which, statistically speaking, meant it had already become my problem.

When I opened my eyes again, she was still looking at me like I held her future in one irritated hand.

I sighed.

“Fine.”

Her ears shot straight up.

“You can stay. Temporarily.”

Lunaria’s whole face lit up so fast it was honestly offensive.

“Really?!”

“Yes. But if you destroy anything important, I’m billing you.”

She blinked.

“What’s billing?”

“Never mind.”

Before I could fully regret the decision, Chester stepped forward like he had been waiting for this exact moment all his life.

“In that case,” he said smoothly, producing a clipboard from somewhere on his person with all the unnatural timing of a conjuring trick, “we should proceed with a formal evaluation.”

I stared at him.

“A formal what.”

“A tenant screening.”

Lunaria immediately brightened again.

“Ooh. Like a quiz?”

“It is not a quiz,” Chester said.

He looked down at the clipboard.

“It is a formal evaluation.”

“That sounds like a quiz with extra suffering,” I muttered.

No one appreciated that.

Chester cleared his throat.

“First question. What are your strengths?”

Lunaria thought about that very seriously.

“I’m good at digging holes.”

There was a pause.

Chester wrote that down.

“…Noted.”

I covered my mouth.

Mostly so my laugh wouldn’t escape and make this feel even more ridiculous than it already was.

“What are your weaknesses?” Chester continued.

Lunaria tapped her chin.

“I can’t resist chasing things that run away. Especially squeaky things.”

Another note.

Another quiet, deeply cursed moment of professionalism.

Zach folded his arms and nodded once.

“That tracks.”

Randy leaned toward me and whispered, “She really is just a dog-shaped problem.”

“I can hear you,” Lunaria said.

“And yet you are not disproving him.”

She ignored that.

Chester went to the next question.

“Any previous work experience?”

Lunaria’s expression brightened.

“I chased a squirrel for three days once.”

I stared at her.

“Why.”

“It was winning.”

“That is not work experience,” I said.

“It built character,” she replied.

Chester wrote that down too.

I was beginning to suspect he was enjoying himself.

“How would you respond to an intruder?” he asked.

Lunaria’s tail wagged.

“I’d bark!”

There was silence.

I looked at her.

Then at Chester.

Then back at her.

“…Bark.”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Really loudly. So they know I’m serious.”

Zach coughed into one hand.

Randy turned away very suddenly.

They were both absolutely losing the fight against laughter.

I didn’t bother hiding mine anymore. I just dragged a hand down my face and stared at the ceiling for strength.

“This is my life now,” I murmured.

Chester, to his credit, did not crack.

“Effective auditory deterrent,” he said, making another note.

At that point, I had to wonder if the real danger in this building was not the supernatural wolf girl, but the butler who was willing to process supernatural nonsense with full administrative dignity.

The questions continued.

“Can you handle weapons?”

“Sticks.”

“Do you have any allergies?”

“Stupid squirrels.”

“Do you possess any specialized skills?”

“I can smell meat from really far away.”

I finally gave up and sat down.

There was no point standing through this.

Eventually, Chester lowered the clipboard.

“Evaluation complete.”

I looked at him.

“And?”

He adjusted his glasses and turned toward Lunaria with solemn approval.

“In addition to tenant status,” he said, “I believe Miss Lunaria would be well-suited to serving as a personal bodyguard for the Little Mistress.”

I stared at him.

Lunaria gasped.

“A bodyguard?!”

“Yes.”

Chester folded his hands neatly.

“You would accompany her. Protect her. Remain alert to danger.”

Lunaria looked like she had just been handed the greatest honor in the history of wolf-related occupations.

“That sounds amazing!”

“No,” I said immediately.

All three men looked at me.

Lunaria looked personally wounded.

“I do not need a bodyguard at school.”

Chester inclined his head slightly.

“Of course.”

That pause was dangerous.

Then—

“However, if Miss Lunaria attends with you, Zach and Randy will no longer need to monitor your route to school.”

I went still.

Slowly, I turned toward Zach and Randy.

Neither of them had the decency to look embarrassed.

Zach straightened.

“We already had a few ideas.”

Randy nodded.

“I was workshopping disguises.”

I stared at them in horror.

“You were going to follow me to school.”

“Discreetly,” Zach said.

“With commitment,” Randy added.

I looked back at Chester.

This was a trap.

A perfect trap.

A beautiful, elegant, evil trap.

Either I took the chaotic wolf girl to school with me, or I got shadowed across campus by two grown men in what would almost certainly become an international embarrassment.

I closed my eyes.

Counted to three.

Opened them again.

Lunaria was already looking at me with the biggest, most pitifully hopeful eyes I had ever seen in my life.

I hate emotional blackmail when it’s effective.

“…Fine,” I muttered.

Lunaria lit up instantly.

“Really?!”

“Yes. But if you embarrass me, I’m pretending we’ve never met.”

She launched herself at me before I could brace properly.

I caught her on instinct and nearly lost my balance anyway.

“Thank you, Mio!”

“Stop tackling me!”

She didn’t stop tackling me.

Her wet hair stuck to my shoulder. Her tail whipped behind her. Somewhere to my left, Randy actually clapped.

I pulled in one long breath and stared into the middle distance.

This was happening.

This had become my life.

And tomorrow, somehow, I have a feeling that it's going to get worse.