Chapter 3

I got us onto the first available train. Not ideal, but we could jump onto something more comfortable later. Fuck. It seemed like I would be stuck with her for a while.

I could feel her eyes on me, but I tried to ignore it as much as I could and kept gazing through the window. It was dark outside, so I couldn't see a shit, but it was better than talking about whatever crap she wanted to ask me about.

“Ame..”

I ignored her.

“Ame..?”

“Get some sleep, kiddo.”

Why couldn't she leave me alone? Not that she cared about me anyway…

“Ame…!”

Her voice sounded serious this time.

“What?”

I turned to her and gave her a look. She didn’t flinch. I guess I wasn't as scary as the Nightmares…

“Help me find my sister….”, she whispered and looked me directly in the eyes.

Fuck. I looked away.

“Ame, please..”

It was getting too much. I turned to face her.

“Do you really want me to go into the dream and die?”, I asked quietly, staring at her.

“But you are a mahou shoujo..”

“Forget about that crap” I snapped.

“Ame…”

She held my gaze and took my hand, but I pulled away and hissed.

“You wanted to hear the sad take, kiddo? Here it goes..”

I pulled up my pendant and dangled it in front of her face.

“Shit is cracked, see.. It doesn’t work any more… Last time I got lucky, but that’s it. I am done with this shit…”

I got up.

“You pissed me off, I need a smoke”

                                           —---------------------------------------------------

I leaned against the toilet door and lit a cigarette. Fuck. Why? Why did I have to be so naive? Tears filled my eyes. Fuck. I punched the wall. I didn't need this shit, I should jump off at the next station. Leaving her behind would be the best thing I could do, but…. Fuck. I punched the wall again. Why was I so fucking naive….?

You are a failure, Ame, that’s why…

The Nightmare’s voice sent shivers down my spine. I tried to hold my scream, but the mirror on the wall shattered, and the glass shards exploded and cut deep into my body. How could I have been so stupid…? I looked at the black void on the wall, taking the shape of a broken mirror with rising panic. Hana….

I grabbed the handle and tried to open the door, but it didn’t budge. Fuck. I had gotten trapped in the dream without realising it. I reached for my pendant.

How pathetic, Ame. You still believe someone will care about a failure like you… They will use you and leave you when they don’t need you any longer. You know it…

My hand froze in the air. The Nightmare was right. Why could I never accept that simple truth and move on….

Because you are a failure, Ame.

I looked at my feet.

You should have finished yourself a long time ago. You know it. Why prolong the inevitable, Ame…? Why suffer longer than necessary…?

“Ame, Ame… Open the door!”

Hana’s voice reached from afar. I looked into my reflection in the mirror. The Nightmare was right…

“Ame!”

The banging on the door became more frantic. Why wait…? The lock gave up, and Hana sprang into the bathroom and hugged me.

“Go away..”

I tried to pull away from her.

“No.”

She held me tight and didn’t let me go.

“Leave me alone…,” I whispered.

I tried to fight back, but all my strength had faded.

“It’s okay, Ame”, she said softly, still holding me. “Don’t listen to them… They're lying.”

“What do you know, kiddo…”

I tried to frown.

“My sister told me… Their words are a lie. They want you to believe in it, so they can feed on your fear and despair. But it is just a lie…”

                                      —----------------------------------------------

I didn’t dare for us to stay in one place for too long, so we took another train. This time it was a sleeper, so at least I could stretch out in a bed. We hadn’t spoken much since the crap happened in the toilet. I sat on my bunk and tried to distract myself with some bullshit on my phone. It didn’t really work, but it was better than nothing.

Sure, I knew they were lying, I knew more about this crap than Hana did, but… Every lie held a grain of truth in it. They couldn’t create a lie out of nothing. I sighed and looked through the window. What next…?

I didn’t think I would be safe any longer, even if I left her. I shivered. The memory of the dark void in front of me was still alive in my mind. No, I wouldn't… Fuck, what should I do? Reddit was full of bullshit advice telling you what to do if the Nightmares were after you, but.. I frowned. Shit like this got you killed. I knew it better than anyone else. I was a mahou shoujo…

I shook my head. No, I wasn’t, not any longer. My stone got fucked…. Fuck. I looked at Hana. She lay on another bunk with her back turned to me. I hope she was sleeping; she needed to get some rest. Who knew when the Nightmares would come again..

Of course. I smiled. She had the fucking stone too. If she began to believe her sister wanted her to use it, the shit would transform her into a mahou shoujo. That’s how this crap worked. If you believed in something strong enough, it happened.

I lay on my bunk and stretched myself. If I managed to spin a good tale and convince her to it, my ass would be safe. Not that I wanted to play Obi-Wan, but it was better than being dead, so…

“Hana, are you sleeping?”, I asked softly.