Chapter 7: Ability Seven: Pulling Someone Out of the Abyss

I rolled against the burning heat of the sun, sliding against the crowd of people in the metropolis. The clashing sounds of vehicles, pedestrians and dull hum of machines roared between skyscrapers.

The whirlwind of emotions was loud. If I hadn't bought her a parting gift, guilt will keep clawing in my heart.

I am not vocal towards my own emotions.

The letter I wrote—it was something I never did before.

My instincts just cornered me into apologizing. That's also something I never did before.

I'm convinced that she already changed my state of mind. The cold, determined me now stood on complicated feelings and impossible choices.

The busy avenues clogged with salarymen turned to streets as I ventured deeper, the streets narrowed into lanes, and the lanes darkened into shadowed alleyways.

At the feet of the sky-high buildings laid a small diner, the only stall giving light to their gigantic shadows. Positioned near the city’s slums, the hustle and bustle of people blend well to the deafening roars of buildings’ air conditioning.

I earned ominous glances from a group of hooded men at the end of the alley. But it's still morning, and no people are considered threats at daylight. They went back into their idle chatter.

"Poccha Teishoku"

Ah, finally here. Akio-san's diner.

The faint chime of a bell greeted me as I pushed the door open, as did the comforting scent of grilled meat and miso. The store is my usual part-time job on days without classes. But today, I'm a customer.

“No classes today, punk?” a gruff voice of an old man resonated from the left side.

I nodded.

"Interesting presence." he pulled his long silver hair into a ponytail, revealing sharp eyes that seemed to see through everything.

Miyamoto Akio-san. He's my father figure and mentor after my parents' death. He was a weathered figure of strength and wisdom I always admired.

He adjusts his faded red long-sleeve shirt and the black apron tied securely around his waist.

“Three ichiban cans, old man.” I responded with a smirk.

But he didn’t move to fulfill the request. Instead, he walked over to my table and leaned down, his face inches from mine. Akio-san's expression carried a mixture of irritation and concern—eyes sending daggers towards me.

“Listen here, you idiot.” Akio mumbled, voice cold and low. “You don't order beers at the height of daylight. Not in my diner, and especially not as a minor. This place serves food, not delinquencies. You got that?”

I couldn’t help but smile, sniffing the unwavering care of my mentor.

"But you let it slip last time."

"Not again. I just pitied your ruckus because you got dumped. Heck, you won't even get up from that dogeza."

I nodded and heaved a sigh, amused at the scolding.

“Now,” Akio followed up, returning to the counter. “What’s the catch? You’re not the type to stop by unless you’re on shift. Something’s eating you lately, doofus?”

I sighed, leaning back to the chair. “You really know me well, Akio-san.”

“More than what you know, kid.” Akio responded, preparing a cup of tea. “Spill it.”

I stared at my trembling hands. For a moment, I considered brushing all the thoughts off—but when it seemed that this life started to revolve around Ayase, the storm of emotions started to hit again.

“It’s complicated.” I started, “There’s this girl, Ayase. She’s been living with me for a while now.”

"Oh." Akio-san raised an eyebrow. “Living with you, huh? Sounds chippy already knowing you already like someone. Now tell me, T-girl caught you in the act so you got dumped?”

“T-gi…Takamine san?” I snapped, almost stomping on the cup of tea served in front of me. “I have already been rejected before she came! Besides, that’s not the point.”

“Doing lewd things with your roommate then?” Akio-san asks with a smirk.

"Pff!"

I almost spewed out the tea.

"Cherry popped, kid?"

“What?! Of course not! I mean—she’s always doing things for me—cleaning, cooking, trying to make my life better. Even when I don’t ask for it. Even when I tell her to stop.”

“Isn’t that entirely a great thing?” Akio argued, his gaze unwavering.

“No, I mean…” I stuttered, but recovered my pace. “The thing is, she’s doing it all because she thinks I saved her. She thinks I gave her a reason to live. But I didn’t do anything special. I don’t deserve this.”

Akio exhaled slowly, taking a seat across from me. He rested his forearms on the table, his weathered hands clasped together below his chin.

Akio gave me a thoughtful glance, “Saved her, from what?”

“A drunkard. I was also drunk that night when I saw that dick trying to hit her. She was working for that damned flower shop, don’t know if she’s even properly paid.”

“And she’s trying to pay you through playing housekeeper?”

I nodded.

“Then,” Akio continued, his tone sharpening slightly, “that doesn’t mean you should let her run herself into the ground for your sake. If she’s giving too much, it’s because she doesn’t know how to stop. And that’s where you come in.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, my grip on the cup clamping harder. “I tried telling her, scolding her—even threatening her.”

“Threaten?” Akio repeats in a condescending manner. “That will never work, boy—or at least soften her up. She’s used to that method of reimbursing kindness from others. Scolding and threatening her will push her further. Tell her what you want and what you don’t want to do. Learn to appreciate her actions while setting up boundaries. That way, she’ll soften up—otherwise, you’ll both end up drowning.”

I nodded slowly, staring into the tea as if it held the answers.

"I do appreciate her actions. I even left her a token of apology when I tried to push her away last night."

"Hmm..."

"I don't even know if I'll end up getting hated for it."

"Rest easy, you won't." Akio-san reassured me with a soft voice. “Just don't push her away because you’re scared. If she’s here, it’s because she wants to be. Let her make that choice. But don’t let her lose herself in the process. Again, I understood the feeling of being saved—I would do just that if I were.”

I didn’t reply immediately. I just sipped my tea, letting the warmth spread through me, even as my mind raced.

My eyes narrowed as the deeper conflict surfaced. “It’s not just that, Akio-san.”

He raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“She’s…a distraction,” I confessed, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “I’ve spent years—years—focusing on one thing. Revenge. I’ve planned every move, every step. And now, with Ayase…she’s making me question it. She’s making me hesitate.”

Akio-san leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. His sharp eyes browsed me like an open book.

“And that’s bad because…?” Akio-san prompted.

“Because this hesitation is dangerous. I can’t afford to feel anything for anyone. Not if I want to finish what I started. Ayase is…” I trailed off, struggling to find the words. “She’s softening me. Making me think there’s more to life than what I’m doing. But I don’t have time for that. I cannot let people get attached to me—I already committed my life to finding the answers to their deaths, and I would die for that.”

Akio let the silence hang for a moment before speaking. “So you think caring about her—about anyone—makes you weak?”

I nodded, jaw tightening. “That’s not a part of me anymore. Those machines took them all.”

“You’ve got it backward, kid,” Akio-san said, his voice carrying the weight of experience. “Nothing strives in vengeance alone. Knowing when to stop, that’s where your real strength comes from.”

“You don’t understand. If I lose my focus, if I let myself get distracted, I’ll fail. And failing isn’t an option.”

Akio leaned forward, his voice firm but gentle. “Hmm, you think revenge is all you’ve got, don’t you? Like it’s the only thing keeping you going.”

I didn’t respond, but maybe this silence was enough.

Akio-san sighed. “Listen to me, Haruki. If Ayase’s making you see that there’s more to life than just surviving, then maybe she’s not a distraction. Maybe she’s a reminder of what you stand to lose if you let revenge consume you.”

I flinched, and my fists clenched.

He was right.

Maybe now...I'm afraid of losing her.

At first, it was hesitation. And now, it's steering me away.

“I can’t just let it go, Akio-san. I can’t forgive. I can’t forget.”

“I’m not telling you to forget. You’re young, kid. Don’t let anger write the rest of your story. If Ayase is giving you a reason to think twice, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe she’s the reason you’ll find something worth living for when all this is over.”

“I saw her as a beacon of something I’ve hidden long ago.”

“Kindness, for sure? That’s nothing to be worried about. You spent your youth trying to blame those innocent Sentinels for what they took from you on that fateful day. I’m not judging what drove you, or how far you came. I’m just saying that it never led to an answer, or at least forgiveness. It did more harm than to heal you.”

As I saw my reflection in the cup of tea, I could see both the current and past me—it had never changed. And this face alone is the reminder of the weight of my actions.

After investigations that took years, there were no leads. I tried to do it myself.

But all I did was to face an invisible wall. It's just too impossible to find the dots and connect them.

As painful as it sounds, my parents' deaths became a cold case.

“You’re right, Akio-san. I still don’t have answers today. All of that because of my twisted view of revenge.”

“If you’re going to ask me, I’m amused by her influence in that short span—one I've been trying to accomplish for years. Heck, the one you saved is probably saving you too. It’s because you’re finally seeing yourself.”

“Me, being saved by Ayase?” The thought kept pressing against my chest, trying to break through.

"That's true," he simply replied. "Unless you're too numb and dense to realize such that."

I remained silent. For the first time, I felt the faintest crack in the armor I built around myself.

“Thanks, Akio-san,” I murmured eventually, my voice barely audible.

“Anytime, kid,” Akio-san replied with a small smile. “Now, how about some actual food? You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”

I nodded as Akio-san stood up, fulfilling his offer.

The whirlwind beneath my chest started to stir slowly, and each breath I heaved came one step closer to resolution.

“What the hell are you, Ayase?”

Revenge was my compass, a driving force—but for the first time, I wondered if she was leading me astray. Could Ayase truly be more than a distraction? Could she be the thread that will pull me away from the abyss?