Out of Tune

Colors in lights, against the sides, along the ground, and across her eyes. The city and world around Miyami was a kaleidoscope of everything in the evening glow of downtown Nagashima.

She gulped, trying to ground herself as feet paced quickly against the pavement.

Her mind was still spinning relentlessly on its axis as they journeyed to the karaoke booth, hands linked with her girlfriend as she was tugged along the streets. Her introverted soul didn't help the situation, and instead kept it thrumming, engine fueled by the adrenaline of being kissed against the wall as it drowned out the anxiety in her heart.

The shorter woman's grip tightened as they traversed a busy street, pulling Miyami close in the chirping tune of the crosswalk. A quick turn and several moments later, they passed under a neon sign, ascending into the karaoke building.

She exhaled as she caught her breath, catching a glimpse of the catchphrase beneath the logo.

'Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.'

"…" Doubt peaked up the stairs.

A minute later, they arrived in the lobby, a splash of vibrant noises and blinks, music and chatter echoing through the carpeted halls.

It was… definitely something.

Hinoka's conversation with the clerk at the front was brief, and soon they were led past other people—other couples—into a small room. There was a large screen at the far end and two microphones waiting for them on a central glass table. The door shut behind them, sealing the pair away from the rest of the world, and the streak-haired woman's grin widened as they plopped themselves down on the vinyl covered cushions.

"Alright! You ready?"

Miyami's consciousness just barely caught up that they were alone once again, quickly taking in the interior of the soundproof room.

"Y-yes. I think so." The words came before thought.

"Sweet!" The other woman quickly picked up the tablet from the center table, already scrolling through a menu. She handed another one to her as she searched.

"You can order food and drink on here, and they'll deliver it to us. As for the songs…" Her fingers tapped on a few buttons, and the screen shifted to show an abundance of titles. "I'm not really picky, but I definitely wanna hear you sing some of your favorites if you have any."

Food? Drink? Favorites? Miyami blinked, the words settling in. She was still reeling from this turn of events; she had no idea about any of that, let alone what she would like to sing.

She absentmindedly ordered the recommended combo from the menu as she was dragged with the tide.

The Fiery Emblem series was the most obvious one that popped into her head, although there were other anime and game soundtracks she'd always liked. Maybe a few vocaloid pieces could work too?

"D-do you mind if you start us off first, Hinoka? I um, just need a moment to think," she said, placing the tablet down as their purchase was confirmed.

Her partner looked up from her device. "Hm? Oh sure. Just give me a sec to pick one out. And let me know if the volume is too loud for you, okay?"

Miyami gave a shaky thumbs up, taking a few more moments to compose herself. Her heart was still beating at a million kilometers an hour, but the karaoke room was safe, cozy, and most importantly, private. She'd be able to relax here.

Right?

"Got it!" The ponytailed woman's sudden exclamation nearly scared her soul into the stratosphere. Hinoka grinned at her, pressing the button for the music to begin. "I think this one should be good to warm me up, although I've never sung it karaoke. Cheer me on please, my birdy!"

Her partner grinned as she picked up a mic for the tune: a popular single from Bocchi no Bento. As the track began, fire ignited in her eyes, and her whole body lit up with energy.

"G-go, Hinoka!" Miyami cheered, pumping her fist once in faux confidence. "Y-you got this!"

Her girlfriend gave a mock salute before launching into the lyrics.

♬·¯·♩¸¸♪━̫̫━̫̫━̫̫━̫̫━ ♩¸¸♪·¯·♫

"♪ I'll be so happy to.

To know what we gotta do~♪

♪ Yeah, I would love you.

To know what we gotta do for you, girls~♪"

The penguin's breath caught in her throat as the beat of the music flowed. Hinoka's voice was clear and… vibrant. Like crystal that'd cut through reality in a blaze.

"♪ …When I take a step forward.

Bad memories make me awkward~♪

♪ So we beat the drums of courage.

Boom! Boom! Boom~!♪"

Her girlfriend moved in sync with the music, a slight sway to her body. There was no hesitation in the way she danced, no fear in how her hands swayed from side to side.

"♪ …Get it, get it done.

Get it, get it done.

Say your voice~♪

♪ Get it, get it done.

Get it, get it done.

Let me hear you sing~♪"

♬·¯·♩¸¸♪━̫̫━̫̫━̫̫━̫̫━ ♩¸¸♪·¯·♫

And just like that, the song came to an end, the final notes echoing in the room.

"Haah~ How was that?"

Miyami's jaw hung open. "Y-you're really good, Hinoka."

The streak-haired girl waved her hand dismissively, a pink tint on her cheeks. "Ah, you're exaggerating. I mean, I'm not tone-deaf or anything, but it's not like I'm a pro. You're making me blush."

"T-that's not true! Y-you really sounded wonderful. Way better than I ever—"

Words cut out as she was tugged upward, and a finger pressed against her lips. "Ssh. Your turn, birdy."

"…" The dark-haired girl was guided forward, the sudden coolness of the mic's metal draining the heat from her hands.

"Go on. I want to hear your voice." An intoxicating smile. "Please?"

Miyami's soul nearly left her body. Something in the back of her mind screamed she wasn't ready yet. She'd already made such a leap forward today. Her heart hadn't recovered yet.

But the enthusiasm behind her girlfriend's gaze was infectious. Even if her chest ached and her throat felt tight, it'd be worth it just to see Hinoka happy, wouldn't it? Plus, she'd already gone through this much effort just to help her.

Maybe—Maybe this wasn't so bad.

Silently, she maneuvered through the digital menu until she saw a song she was familiar with. It was a vocaloid piece, a rather popular one that'd been a hit when she was still in high school.

Pulse thrummed, blood rushed, and her finger hovered over the button as she remembered the business's encouraging catchphrase: Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.

Bravery and compulsion solidified together.

*tap!*

The melody began to play. A piano, steady, but energetic right off the bat. A flow of chords came like a river, building up until it all rushed forth in drumbeat and guitar.

She breathed.

﹀⋰︿⋱♪·¯·♫﹀⋰︿⋱ ♩¸¸♪﹀⋰︿⋱﹀⋰

"𝆔 L-lonely girl—"

░░▓▓░▒▓░▒▓▒▒░▒░░

Her voice cracked out the gate. She winced as the deeper resonance invaded.

"♮ —is forever looking at, a-an unreeeachable dream.

The insiiide of her messed up head is scraaambling.

♫ Nothing's wrong. Words are lost as she tries to smile.

Always fail, a-always fail, and she can't say a t-tHinG—"

░░▒▒▓▒░▒▓░▒▒░▒▓▒▒░▒▒▓░▒▓▒░▒░░

Feedback amplified her screech, immediately killing any confidence as she jammed the stop button.

The room went still.

*thud*

Miyami swallowed hard, trying to ignore the static that pulsed through her veins as she collapsed to the cushions.

Heat and wetness rose as failure settled in.

░░▒▒▓▒░▒▒░▓▒░▒░░

"…it's okay, Miyami. Just relax for me, okay…?"

*shudder*

The voice of her girlfriend somewhat cut through the haze, but she couldn't bring her head up to face her. The static in her ears grew as trauma echoed, drowning out everything else.

This was a mistake.

"…M-Miyami. Please, it's fine. Nobody's going to judge you. Just breathe…"

The words made sense, but the meaning didn't land. Not even with the intention. This attack that wrecked through her wasn't as bad as the previous one, but…

She shook her head, trying to float above the static.

"I'm serious. It's just me and you. Two dummies spending time together. There's nothing to worry about, okay?"

A hand brushed the back of her own as if wanting to hold it, but she jerked away from the touch, curling tighter within herself and hiding her vulnerability.

She wanted to accept it, but not now.

She needed a second.

Miyami sucked in thick air, then exhaled slowly. She counted her heartbeats, and her other hand raised slightly, indicating a need for space.

The prickling in her veins receded, but not completely. She just needed a little more—

"There's nothing to get worked up over. Your voice isn't bad. So come on, let's give it another go."

"…"

No response.

The other girl repeated it, as if she hadn't heard her. "Seriously, your voice is fine, Miyami. Let's get back to it now. I still want to hear you—"

"Stop."

The words came out harsher than she meant, and the dark-haired girl instantly regretted her tone as Hinoka's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry," she quickly clarified as her chest ached. "I just… I know that you're trying to be supportive, but… It's not really helping me right now. So seriously. Please."

Her partner's mouth thinned to a straight line. "Okay. I won't say anything more." Her voice was clipped, but not unkind. "However, I'm not taking back what I said. There's nothing to get worked up over. Your voice really is—"

"I said stop."

Silence.

She rolled off the cushions, legs carrying her to the door.

"M-Miyami. What's going on? Why are you—"

She didn't wait to hear the rest of it as she escaped the room and shuffled across the hallway. Her vision blurred, and she stumbled blindly into the restroom, locking the door behind her as the world collapsed.

***

*ker-clank*

The sound of dishes being set down echoed through the silent karaoke room, and the smell of food wafted in.

"Will that be all, miss?" the server asked politely.

"Yeah… thanks."

The door closed, leaving Hinoka alone in the room once more.

"…"

After a minute of tension and once she was sure she was alone, she slammed her fist into her thigh, nearly hard enough to break skin.

"SHIT!"

Her eyes watered as she clenched her head between her hands, pain radiating like a curse from her own idiocy.

How could she have been so stupid?! Why did she have to push her?! Why did she insist on bringing her here after so much had already happened today?!

Clenched hands smacked the sides of her temples as her body slumped forward on the cushions, her body curling inwards as she berated herself.

Why was she always such a screwup?!

Blood boiled; nails dug into her skin as her thoughts spiraled.

Of all the damn things to screw up, this was the worst possible thing she could've messed up.

She had promised her girlfriend that they were going to have fun. That they'd enjoy a night of singing and drinks and food between them. Miyami TRUSTED her. Opened her heart to her list of desires.

But instead, she'd rushed things and hurt her—the one person who mattered more than anything to her.

"Piece of shit!"

Hinoka choked on the air in her throat, biting her lip as tears welled up in her eyes. Memories of the last karaoke she'd ruined broke free from its mental cage, taunting her with its rhymes to the current pain.

No, this wasn't just a repeat. It was much, much worse.

'I told you so.'

The intrusive thought stabbed her in the chest, not because it was uncalled for, but because it was right.

She'd specifically been trying to NOT do this—to be as reassuring and respectful as possible. And yet, here she was, making the same mistake in a completely different way, all because she wanted to push things and make things better!

Screams hit the padded walls until only emptiness remained. She moved to wipe tears from her face.

*sniffle*

She wanted to run away from this so badly, but Miyami was probably in a lot of pain right now. The least she could do was find her and apologize before the worst happened. Maybe she'd be able to forgive her after they talked things out, had a hug, and—

"Damn it, THINK, Hinoka! Leave her the hell alone for now." The ponytailed woman growled as frustration briefly reignited, smacking her head against the cushions a couple of times.

"…"

The inferno in her soul gradually simmered into something lesser once again as she lay there, then eventually, a dull ache.

"…"

She needed to just stop and actually reflect on herself. Figure out what she'd done wrong rather than run from the consequences or patch up the effects.

Amber eyes darted over to the happy hour special, a pitcher of beer, some juices and sodas, finger foods, and sweets.

The girl's stomach growled, and she was tempted to find another escape through booze. But that wouldn't be wise in her state of mind. She didn’t need to make things even worse.

Instead, she opted to grab some fries, munching on the crunchy sticks as brine escaped her tear ducts.

She'd wait for her girlfriend to come back on her own terms, once she was ready.

Until then though…

More fries were stuffed down her throat as her body digested the salt.

She had a lot of shit to work through.