Ravenous horde of degenerates and imbeciles

The final few lessons of the day came and went, and before I knew it club time had arrived. Usually it was my favourite part of the day. Quieter than class, less parental nagging than at home. Today, unfortunately, that usual comfort and calm was set to be rudely interrupted by a conversation I didn’t exactly want to have.

“Hey, Kabucchi…” called out a timid voice from my side. “Do you… wanna walk to club together?”

“...yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

Pep was unusually subdued and quiet, though it wasn’t exactly a mystery as to why. And I imagined Sai was feeling much the same way. It was a bit of a cruel twist of fate that we all knew we needed to have this conversation, but wouldn’t be able to meet up all together until the end of the day, leaving the topic sat in all of our minds with no release. I’m sure that growing anticipation was at least partially to blame for the atmosphere between Pep and I as we silently made our way to the clubroom.

“Hey… did you… talk to Sai-chan at lunch? About the clip, I mean?” Pep asked, beginning to trail a step or two behind me.

“Yeah. Unsurprisingly she had no idea, but it felt wrong to withhold it from her so I told her about it.”

“How… did she take it?”

“She seemed frustrated, which I guess was predictable. She didn’t blame you, but she said she was annoyed at the people online sharing stuff around without our consent.”

“I see…” unfortunately that didn’t seem to improve her mood any. That was the last thing either of us said until we reached the door.

We entered the clubroom to find Sai slowly pacing around the room, a complicated expression on her face. Pep had almost completely retreated behind me in the last few seconds of the walk, Sai saw me enter then Pep at my heel. It almost seemed like Pep was trying to gain every second she could before having this conversation.

“Ah, you two are here. I’ve been waiting a good few minutes,” said Sai, speaking at an oddly quickened pace.

“We’re only a minute or so later than normal, right? Did you run here or something?” I asked.

“I suppose I may have gotten here slightly faster than usual. In truth my legs carried me here before my mind had a chance to keep up. I seem to be in a… bit of a befuddled state today, so to speak.”

I suppressed a sigh. Sai being antsy and Pep being despondent didn’t make for a good combination, especially if we wanted to actually have a productive conversation. It was becoming increasingly clear that none of us particularly wanted to be here. Nor did any of us want to be the one to cut the tension, since for several seconds we just stood milling about like a bunch of lobotomites unable to speak.

Realising that this was getting us nowhere, I figured I would be the one to break the silence.

“Alright, let’s not beat around the bush. We all know why we’re acting like a bunch of shy gloomy twats, there’s no point keeping up some bloody pretence about. That clip of me and Sai has garnered a whole lot of unwanted attention and now we need to talk about what to do about it. We’re all at least on the same page there, right?” I said. Both girls gave me a hesitant nod, though they spoke not a word, which I took as my cue to continue. “In theory it could be as simple as Sai and I simply never showing up on stream again, but the fact that the clip has been directly linked to Pep’s twitch means people are gonna find her through it whether we want it or not. So long as she tries to stream, people are gonna bug her about it. And we all know how the internet can be when it doesn’t get it’s way.”

Sai gave a grimace, and Pep almost seemed to twitch at the thought. A reaction expected of anyone of our age, I suppose. Growing up in this generation meant experiencing all the joys and all the miseries the internet had to offer, and unfortunately the harassment of innocent people for not bending over backwards to appease the ravenous horde of degenerates and imbeciles was practically a staple. If it’s never happened to you, it’s probably happened to someone you know. That’s the shitty reality we live in.

“I suppose… there’s only one option then, right?” Pep said, her tone noticeably dejected. She took a seat on the corner of the table, looking down at the ground and kicking her legs gently. “I just have to stop streaming. Maybe delete the account altogether. That’s the only way I can make up for my mistake, isn’t it?”

Sai glanced at each other briefly and shared an uncomfortable look. Logically, it seemed the best option. It would eliminate the issue almost entirely with minimal effort. Plus from my own perspective it was definitely the best case scenario, which normally would be enough for me to jump at it.

But I didn’t like it.

“I… don’t believe that’s entirely necessary.” It was Sai, however, that beat me to the punch. “It’s a difficult situation to navigate, for certain, but to throw in the towel so soon would be premature, would it not?”

“But… it’s the only way to protect your privacy, right? Otherwise they’ll just keep being invasive and stuff. What other option is there?”

“Don’t forget, the only reason it was a violation of privacy this time is because we didn’t know we were on stream,” I interjected. “I won’t show my face, but if making a verbal appearance helps smooth things over a bit then it’s an acceptable cost.”

“My thoughts exactly. So long as we’re aware of and engaged with the public nature of what we say, there is no breach of privacy to concern yourself with. It is not so hopeless a situation that you need give up on your aspiration.”

Pep looked between the two of us momentarily, her gaze slowly shifting from one the other and back again. Slowly, a sad smile seemed to grow on her face.

“I really am just in the way for you two, aren’t I?” She said. Her tone was steady, but abjectly sad.

“This again? Pep, I told you, neither of us are mad at you. You made one small slip up and some idiot ran with it. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself over every little thing all the time.” I rolled my eyes, partially out of exasperation, partially in hopes she would get the message that she doesn’t need to take it so seriously. Apparently I achieved nothing of the sort, since she simply shook her head and kept that same sad smile.

“That’s not it, Kabucchi. It’s just… me being here just causes you both problems. You don’t have to pretend that’s not the case, just… promise me you won’t leave me behind, okay?”

Sai and I briefly shared a look once again, and I could tell in an instant she was just as lost as I was. I had a feeling the topic of the conversation had shifted without my noticing, but I couldn’t tell when or what to. Leaving her behind? What was she talking about? Was she still hung up on Sai and I eating lunch together? If so, why bring it up now? What’s with the non-sequitur? Just trying to decipher Pep’s bloody riddles made my head hurt sometimes.

“I’m… unsure if I understand what you’re referring to, to be perfectly frank,” said Sai, breaking the momentary silence that had descended on the room, “but whatever fears you have of us ‘leaving you behind’ as you say are unfounded. You’re as much a part of this club as either of us, failing to mention that you’re our valued friend. Think yourself not our burden.”

“Yeah, what she said. Though, less pretentious and snobby.” I hoped the jab at Sai would alleviate some of the tension, though once again I seemed to have the opposite effect of what I intended, because that sad smile seemed to grow emptier with every word.

“We, our, us…” She muttered something under her breath, though I couldn’t exactly make it out.

“Pep?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just being dramatic. I’m gonna head home early and brainstorm some ideas for how to handle this next stream, so you two enjoy club together, kay?” Before Sai or I had a chance to protest, Pep hopped up from her perch on the corner of the table, flashed us a quick peace sign and hurriedly stepped out of the door.

“I… do believe we’ve failed to solve the problem at hand…” Sai said after a short silence.

“Actually, I think all we did was make another problem worse.”