when the dream is not enough

After realizing it was just a dream, I clutched my chest—there was a pain that nearly tore me apart.

I wished it hadn’t been just a dream.

At the university, I met my friend Song, who had been both mine and Rin’s friend since our first day. Beside him stood Maya.

Song: How are you?

Kaito: Ah, I’m fine.

Maya: But you don’t look fine. Did something happen?

Kaito: No, no... It’s just that Rin’s death is still hard for me.

Song: I know. It’s still hard for us too.

Maya: Yes, but we shouldn’t let it affect us. We have a project to finish.

Kaito: About that... I won’t be participating.

Maya: Why?

Song: Maya just said not to let grief affect us, so don’t make excuses.

Maya: You and Rin started this project and stayed up all night designing it. You have to finish it—for her.

Kaito: You can continue without me.

Maya: So that’s your final decision?

Kaito: Yes.

Song: But—

Maya (interrupting): No, he won’t listen no matter what we say.

Song: Then what should we do?

Maya: Maybe Wang can convince him.

...

After class, I found my friend Wang waiting for me.

Wang: Hey, Kaito.

Kaito: Hey.

Wang: I heard you decided to quit the project?

Kaito: Yeah. I just can’t work on it.

Wang: Because it reminds you of her, right? But that’s a form of cowardice.

Kaito: Every time I see something that reminds me of her, my chest tightens.

Wang: If memories hurt you, why don’t you run away from them?

Kaito: If running were easy... how?

Wang: Leave this college. Move to Seoul. Get rid of all these memories.

Kaito: I...

Wang: At least you’re thinking. That’s good. If I were you, I’d finish the project, then transfer to a university in Seoul.

Kaito: You seem excited.

Wang: Of course! I’m leaving this city, going to meet beautiful girls and celebrities—maybe even get their autographs or numbers!

(An angry voice behind us)

Maya: And you forgot you’re already dating someone? I brought you to convince him, and you talk about girls?!

Wang (nervously): Maya! I was just trying to cheer him up... How could I look at other girls when I already have the most beautiful one?

Song: Too late, buddy!

(After a brutal beating)

Kaito: Rest in peace, dear brother Wang... but don’t come back too soon.

Maya: So, what do you think, Kaito?

Kaito: Okay... but I’ll just be an assistant. I’m not going to Seoul.

Wang: That’s the spirit! Let’s get started!

Maya: Who said you’re part of this? Who let you write your name down?!

Song: Great, Wang’s with us. Maya and I agree. But if you change your mind, let us know.

Kaito: Alright, let’s go.

Maya: How is this possible?

Song: Like I said, we can’t convince him now, but maybe with time...

Maya: Alright, let’s go.

...

I went back home, showered, studied, exercised a bit, then slept.

And for the second day, I didn’t dream of Rin...

Kaito: I didn’t dream of her today either... Was that dream a goodbye? What’s on my schedule today? Oh, the project!

...

(Two months of hard work passed)

We celebrated at Wang’s house after finishing the project.

Wang: Finally done! After two months of work, it’s party time!

Everyone: Let’s celebrate!

Kaito: I can finally go back to a normal life.

Song: Yeah, a life full of chasing grades and routines!

Maya: At least he’s not at the bottom of the rankings.

Wang: I’m ranked eighth!

Song: I’m ninth!

Maya: I’m fourth, and Kaito is second. You two are beneath us.

Kaito: Yeah, maybe you guys should work harder.

Wang: Look who’s talking! The guy with bad grades in high school!

Kaito: But I improved in my second and third years!

Wang: Yeah, to tenth place! Such progress!

Song: Well said, Wang. He evolved from “mediocre” to “slightly better!”

Maya: Haha, yes!

Kaito: Now you’re laughing too?

Maya: I couldn’t help it...

Kaito: How were you in high school?

Maya: Always between second and third place.

Wang: Yup, that’s my girl!

Maya: Thank you, thank you.

We spent the night laughing and joking. We sent the project to private colleges to see if it would be accepted...

...

(Three months later...)

Professor: Alright, I’ll announce the names of those whose projects were accepted: Maya, Wang, Song, Chi, Koto, and lastly, Kaito.

Kaito (surprised): What?!

Professor: You were the last to submit, but your project was requested by several colleges and was selected. Well done!

Everyone: Awesome!

Kaito (after they left): Why me too?

Maya: Because you deserve it.

Kaito: But that wasn’t our deal...

Wang: We didn’t want your effort to go to waste. You and Rin designed this and stayed up two weeks just to draw the plan!

Song: And that’s enough.

Wang: If you want to forget her, fine. But this project must bear fruit—it’s meant for both of you to go to Seoul, just as she wanted. You owe her that.

Maya: And for that reason... I love you.

Wang: You were amazing! Hey!

Maya: And I instantly stopped liking you.

Kaito: Excuse me, I have lectures to attend.

...

(End of the first semester)

Wang and Maya visited relatives, Song went on a trip, and I visited Rin’s grave from time to time.

Kaito: Time to sleep... I miss you, Rin. And the longer you’re gone, the more I miss you.

I promised not to ask you why you left.

Just promise me that when we meet, it’ll feel like we were never apart.

...

(In the dream)

I saw Rin holding my hand, leading me to a place where the moon gradually faded... until it vanished.

I went to her grave.

Kaito: What does this mean, Rin? I don’t understand you anymore...

...

(End of the year)

Maya: The year is finally over!

Wang: Yeah, I can finally sleep in peace!

Kaito: Look who’s talking! The guy who ranks last every year!

Wang: This time I’ll be fourth!

Song: So confident, wow.

Kaito: We’ll see...

Maya: We need to prepare for the Hanyoung University exam.

Song: What’s it called?

Maya: Hanyoung.

Kaito (to himself): Isn’t that Misaki’s university?!

...

(After moving to Seoul)

Maya: Whew, we finally made it to our house in Seoul!

Wang: Yes, and I’ll live right next to you, sweetheart.

Maya: No! You’ll live with Kaito and Song. We’re just nearby.

Wang: It’s a shame to be apart from you...

Maya: I told you to stop!

...

(First day at university)

Wang: The university is amazing!

Maya: Yes, I hope we make lots of new friends.

???: Kaito? Is that you?

Wang: Who’s this pretty girl?

Maya: Do you want to die?

Wang: My bad!

Kaito (to himself): Yes, it’s Misaki...

Kaito: Yeah, it’s been a while.

Misaki: It’s only been half a year! So, you’re the new students?

Kaito: Yes. These are my friends: Maya, Song, and Wang.

Misaki: Nice to meet you all.

Kaito: And this is Misaki.

Misaki: You study here? Who would’ve believed in you, the math failure?

Kaito: Those tests were hard. You and Rin made them, and I was still bad at math.

Misaki: Maybe because you were a fool?

Kaito: Now I’m ranked first.

Misaki: Then my grade will drop since you’ll take second place.

Wang: You’ve got competition!

Misaki: Competition? I don’t consider him that. I always beat him by a huge margin.

Maya: Oh, so you were Kaito and Rin’s high school friend? Rin told us a lot about you.

Misaki: Yes. Welcome. Classes are starting—let’s go.

...

(In the dream again)

I woke up in my high school classroom...

Kaito: Another dream?! I’ll do something I’ve always wanted to do...

(shouts out the window)

Kaito: I hate this school!

(Prepares to jump)

But someone grabs me from behind:

???: What the hell are you doing, you