(V2) Chapter 5: The Heart-Shaped Pillow

The central mall was bustling with life.

Families weaving through aisles, couples holding hands, teenagers laughing in groups. Bright lights and the hum of overlapping conversations filled the air.

Haru had always hated crowds. The noise, the energy, the overwhelming presence of people. It made his skin itch, his senses heightened in a way that made him uneasy.

But today was different.

Ayase followed from behind timidly, much more anxious as he was.

“You’re really out of the woods, huh?” Haru remarked, glancing over his shoulder.

Ayase’s shoulders tightened, her glances stuck on the floor. “It’s my first time here so…”

“Don’t worry,” Haru reassured. “There will be more, and you’ll get used to it.”

“I’d love to stay at the apartment and do house chores too.” she chanted cheerfully.

“Give yourself a damn break.” Haru muttered after a sigh. “You’re not a tool. We're not just protecting your freedom here, but also, your well-being.”

Colors bloomed from Ayase’s cheeks as she slowly nodded.

It's clear now that she's beginning to be a part of Haruki’s daily life.

They dropped by a ramen shop tucked behind the quiet corners of the mall. There’s a few customers in attendance, and this might be the sole reason why Haruki decided to take it.

They sat on a quiet corner, ordering a simple meal. Haru talked about school, the new trends he is hearing, and the things he is currently seeing online. Lengthy conversation it is, but to him, it doesn’t matter as all he wanted was to remind Ayase that she belonged in his life.

Ayase in return, talked about how it’s easier to manage Haru’s apartment than the other homes she has been to before. Ayase arranged everything with ease, a show of expertise at such a young age.

She talked about the comfort of worrying less about duties, the simpler tasks, how her efforts are rewarded, and how her life changed instantly in Haru’s custody.

They both listened to each other, responding in short comments here and there. It wasn’t much, but no one seemed to mind carrying the conversation.

Next, they shopped for house goods. A wall of seamless furniture and fabrics stretched out in front of them with jaw dropping prices.

The scent was a mix of varnish and fabric softeners.

But what stood out is Ayase seeming oddly invested at the sight—just minutes ago, she had been quiet, anxious, sticking close to Haru as they navigated through the overwhelming crowds. But now?

Now, she was completely in her element.

“Look!” Ayase gasped, dragging Haru to the mattress section. “This one would go well in your chipped bed foam.”

She excitedly pressed a hand against a plush memory foam mattress, her palm sinking into it.

Haru contemplated for a moment, crossing his arms.

“Are you sure that would be a good fit?” Haru asked, deep lines of concentration forming in his forehead.

“Yes!” she triumphantly answered. “It will definitely help your muscles relax after a long day.”

Then, his gaze flickered up to a bold red sign hanging over the display:

“THANK YOU FOR NOT LYING DOWN.”

He frowned. “Tch. How are you supposed to test a mattress if you can’t even lie on it?”

“You could, but you’d get kicked out.” she pouted.

“Tempting…but that isn’t for me.”

Ayase snapped into a questioning look, waiting for his confirmation.

“You will be using my room from now on.”

Ayase froze, caught between short breaths.

“Are you serious…Ishida-san?”

“Do I look like I’m fooling around?” he replied.

Ayase opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Her face steadily turned pink.

She didn’t know what to say—how to react. But when she realized Haru was already turning away, grabbing the mattress and loading it into the cart like it was just another item, she quickly wiped her eyes before he could notice the mist forming in them.

Today, she felt like being served by her prince—and that made her want to scream in joy.

Her heart, weightless as a feather.

The two of them continued picking out essentials—cleaning supplies, towels, new bowls and mugs.

“This one would go well in the living room,” Ayase said, holding up a decorative heart pillow.

“But…that’s for women, right?”

As Haru stared at the body pillow designed with pink roses, he couldn't help but slightly feel discomfort.

“It’s a heart pillow!” Ayase countered.

“A very eerie…pillow.”

“Yes, but it adds character.”

The possible image of his living room looking like a princess’ lounge sent shivers to his skin. Haru shook his head, “Ah, just keep it for yourself.”

Ayase smiled at him triumphantly, “Yay!”

Haru can’t help but stare at her face a little longer than usual before he turns away in guilt.

As they went on walking around mall corridors, Haru found himself subconsciously stealing glances at Ayase. It's not like in a perverted way, but there's some feeling in him that makes his chest tighten. It's warmth, a feeling of discreet adoration and appreciation for the girl next to him.

He hasn't thought much of going to malls because of his lack of interest in anything to do outdoors. They just make him feel claustrophobic. But now, he could see the beauty of it—those feelings are definitely messed up and tangled, yet there's one honest take that can be seen.

Haru is enjoying every moment he spends with Ayase. Maybe Ayase too.

"Uh...Ayase?"

Ayase unexpectedly stopped walking, pulling him out to reality. Her eyes glued to the cultural retail store in front of them. Her lips were slightly parted as she stared at the displays in silence, but her eyes showed excitement and wonder.

She looked over her shoulder at Haru. "Can we...go inside?"

That upturned eyes of hers can melt glaciers, and Haru didn't even resist.

"Sure."

The moment they stepped into the brightly lit store, it felt like they had walked into another world.

Unlike the previous ones they checked in, it was crowded with excited teenagers and students with eyes sparkling upon the sight of unmistakingly cute novelties.

The store shelves stretched high with colorful trinkets—mini fans, squishy keychains, pastel mugs shaped like animals, notebooks with glittery covers, and tiny lamps designed like mushrooms. The air smelled faintly of paper, plastic, and something sweet—maybe the candy aisle tucked somewhere at the back.

A soft pop music resonated in the background, and it's something that can ignite curiosity.

"Ishida-san, there!"

Ayase was already pointing toward a display of oversized plushies, her eyes wide and sparkling, fingers twitching at her sides like she was trying to hold herself back but failing miserably.

Seeing her like that, Haru couldn’t help but let a small smile slip.

She's owning the glances of few other people right now—and the two looked like an absolute couple where Haru was forcefully dragged into this uncharted ocean. He kept quiet and allowed himself to gaze at the merchandise curiously like a boy who got lost in the woods—carrying a loaded trolley like it was some kind of war wagon.

Haru grabbed one dinosaur toy from the shelf—a brown velociraptor that looked like it came from a children's show, with unexpectedly floppy ears and big head with cute eyes that stared back at him with innocent intentions.

He stirred it to its tail, there was a label saying "SOAP" in black font, making him laugh curtly in amusement.

"Who the hell scrubs their asses with dinosaurs?"

Haru eyebrows furrowed as he stared harder at the bizarre object in his hand as if it was something valuable on the other dimension.

Totally hilarious, somehow.

"Wow, you really like that thing, Ishida-san?"

Ayase suddenly materialized in Haru's side and leaned in close, making him jolt and throw the toy back at the shelf.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

In a few seconds, he already wiped his hands clean of evidence and feigned ignorance.

"No, of course I don't. That thing is weird."

She stared at him for a moment, and then she giggled heartily while lifting a hand to her lip.

Something in Haru warmed up when Ayase smiled like that.

"You're so adorable when you're caught off guard, Ishida-san."

"Tch. You see nothing."

She took off and looked around the store more thoroughly.

Arriving in the collectibles section, Ayase reached up, struggling slightly to grab a massive, round white cat plushie from the top shelf. It was almost bigger than her. The thing was fat and soft-looking, its stitched eyes closed in a blissful smile.

"Heaaavie-hooo..."

She pulled it down awkwardly, nearly losing her balance, clutching it to her chest like she had just snatched a treasure from a royal castle.

She turned to Haru with those expectant eyes—the ones she knew would melt his willpower into dust.

“Ishida-san…” she whispered, as if asking permission to take it home was some life-saving moment.

"You're ready to turn the apartment into a princess castle, huh?" Haru laughed under his breath, shaking his head at her ridiculousness, but there wasn’t even a hint of resistance in him. Not when she looked so happy.

"Pwease~" she puffed and nudged her cheeks on the cat's head, making Haru roll his eyes and sigh.

He didn't even need to contemplate—he's weak and easily charmed by Ayase, as if she's sending a cheat code straight to his system.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, waving my hand dismissively. “Go ahead, plushie thief.”

"Yay! I'll call her Fuwa-chan!"

Her face lit up like a festival lantern, and she clutched the cat tighter, spinning in a little circle before hurrying down the next aisle.

Haru followed, hands jammed into his pockets, wondering when the hell it happened—that his heart had started syncing to her every little joy that seemed like a weakness to him before.

They turned a corner and found themselves in the anime section.

And that’s when Ayase really exploded.

Her eyes lit up like twin stars, darting from shelf to shelf, gasping softly at every figure, every keychain, every plush modeled after some anime character.

She was buzzing with excitement, her steps quick and light, like she had forgotten the heavy world that burdened her all this time.

Haru thought if she stays like this, she and Akito would be really good friends judging by how they are swayed by something he finds "uninteresting".

She dropped the giant cat plushie without hesitation the moment she spotted another one—this one smaller, a bit squishy-looking, with a sleepy expression and messy hair stitched onto its little head.

Ayase grabbed it and spun towards Haru, clutching it between her palms.

“Ishida-san, this plushie looks exactly like you!” she announced with this bright, infectious laugh that punched right through Haru's cheek.

"Eh?" Haru blinked, staring at the squishy blob in his face.

It didn’t look like him. Not even close.

Maybe the bedhead. Maybe the grumpy little frown.

But still.

He scoffed, rolling his sleepy eyes away. “You’re blind. I’m way cooler than that thing.”

Ayase beamed, tilting her head slightly. “You really are cool,” she said, the teasing lilt still in her voice but softer now. “That’s why I’m so attracted to you.”

"Huh?"

Haru froze for half a second longer than he should’ve, feeling his brain misfire like a broken engine.

"Yes! There's no-one in the world like you!"

It wasn’t that her words were shocking—she always said something similar before—but hearing it in such an offhand, honest way...it stirred something dangerous and fragile inside him.

Like some delicate string between them had been tugged just a little tighter.

Haru coughed, trying to push the flush off his face and waved her off casually. “Tch. Don’t just say stuff like that out loud, idiot.”

But Ayase only laughed, pressing the plushie to her chest again like she had just won something mote important.

“I'll call this our baby!”

“Stop saying things like that casually.”

But deep inside, Haru somehow wanted it…a bit.

After visiting the retail store, Haru bought more sets of new clothing for Ayase, despite trying her best to convince him that sticking to just two outfits is enough.

Haru kept dismissing Ayase’s protests. Everything that they are buying is to cater her needs, anyway. Sanitary, privacy, hygiene—name it.

Being stuck with a few changes of clothes was not a sustainable lifestyle, Haru protested, so the cart was filled up anyway.

After getting over the long line of customers paying out, the two decided to finally go home. The crowd had just started to build up more and more, so it took more zigzags to finally find the wide open aisle.

“Guess we’ll take hours arranging the new stuff.”

“...”

“Ayase?”

As they reached the main walkway, Haru noticed Ayase’s sudden silence.

“...yes?” she blinked a few times before she turned.

“I would like to ask for your help to arrange the new stuff.”

“S-sure, Ishida-san.”

A smile tugged at her lips, but somehow, it’s kind of restrained. Forced.

Haru’s eyes were glued at Ayase for a moment before he looked away.

It was not just Ayase’s silence. It was her demeanor turned flat 180.

Her grasp on the cart tightened, and she kept frantically stealing glances in her flanks.

It was as if there were always a couple of eyes burning her back.

“Something wrong?” Haru asked, his tone casual but his eyes sharp.

She forced a smile. “No, Ishida-san, just—”

Her voice trailed off as Haru stopped in his tracks. He scans the whole area, and there seems to be nothing wrong in the endless wave of crowd with overlapping conversations.

The mall was supposed to be just another stop. A simple outing. But nothing was ever that simple if Ayase herself was uncomfortable.

When Haru’s eyes landed on the third floor corridor, a figure covered in a dark hoodie returned his gaze.

Its glances sized up Haru, eyes dead as his. He only broke the staredown as Ayase tugged his sleeve, pulling him slightly.

“Uhm, let’s check out that park you mentioned…”

He blinked, caught off guard by her sudden enthusiasm. “…Sure?”

Ayase nodded. She tugged him forward, leading the way.

But before Haru left the area, he dared a single glance back. The figure was gone, but the memory remained.

***

A few minutes from the mall brought them to a nearby park.

The afternoon air was cool, and the idea of heading straight home right away felt wrong. The path was filled with rough bricks with humble grasses. The distant hum of the city faded into the background, replaced by the soft laughter of children playing and the rustling of leaves as winds blew.

They sat on a bench, watching people pass by. Some just let them off, but the big cat plushie beside Ayase was too much for a kid’s eye to resist.

Ayase leaned slightly on Fuwa-chan, and heaved a sigh. “It may not sound special, but it’s actually my first time visiting a park.”

Haru turned to her, her face bathed in the soft orange glow of afternoon sun.

“First time makes everything special.”

“And…” Ayase paused, her hair fluttering in the breeze. “...it’s the first time I enjoyed a day like this.”

Haru understood right away the weight of those words. As someone whose half of life was spent on serving and enduring people, one would really appreciate the days they’re finally free and feeling like a human once more.

“Your days will always be like this. You have done more than enough, and it’s my duty to return it all.”

She let out a small laugh. “Before, there’s always this…pressure, you know? Like, having to be the ‘right’ version of myself. I was made to serve, but sometimes, it’s actually tearing me up despite my hardest efforts to make sure I won’t be. It’s true that everyone gets tired sometimes.”

He nodded slowly. He understood that feeling more than she knew.

“With you, Ishida-san,” she continued, meeting his gaze, “It’s different. I don’t feel like I have to try so hard.”

Haru glanced away, exhaling. “You say that like I’m not a pain to be around. Look at what I had done in the first half. Almost killed you the first day we met.”

She smirked. “You’ll never be a pain, Ishida-san.”

He huffed, shaking his head, but there was the smallest hint of amusement on his face.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

The distant sound of children’s laughter, the rustling leaves, the gentle hum of the world—it all wrapped around them, quiet and weightless.

But there was a bridge forming between them, a connection. A wire that both of their hearts shared.

Then, Ayase broke the silence.

“I really, really had fun today.”

Haru blinked, caught off guard by the simplicity of it.

“Good to know. I'm also thankful.”

She tilted her head. “About?”

He hesitated, staring ahead. “…That you came with me.”

A small giggle escaped her, light and breathy.

“I promised that I’ll never say no to you right, Ishida-san?”

“That’s too much.”

“For you, I don’t mind.”

His heart stilled.

Something about the way she said it—so casual, so certain—made his chest tighten.

He wasn’t sure how to respond.

Was it really that simple? After everything—after years of being alone, of pushing people away, of convincing himself that it was better that way—was it really okay to let someone in?

To believe that he could be someone worth spending time with?

He let out a slow breath, letting the moment settle between them.

The sounds of the park. The breeze against his skin.

And Ayase, sitting beside him, close enough to reach.

“I never thought that I would let myself go on a journey of rediscovering myself after all these years. I still have a lot to reflect on, and thank you because you're the reason for it.”

Ayase's heart stilled. His words was enough to reach places in her heart that was never touched before.

“Is that so…”

“Yup.” Haru nodded. “Can you be with me through it all? Because I would be happier if you're with me.”

Ayase didn’t reply, but how her ears steamed as she nodded was enough of a wordless response.

“STOOOOOOOOP!!!!”

She erupted, tiny fists thumping against his lap like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

It didn’t hurt.

It was just adorable.

He couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out.

“Such a clumsy dork…”

And in that moment, he knew:

He had to protect this girl. No matter what.

Maybe things had changed.

Maybe they weren't alone anymore.

And their fateful transition from having everything to nothing started to make sense today.

And it was never wrong or an entirely bad thing.