Oneshot (Version 2)

For some reason, I can't actually sleep.

An average human was awake for 16 hours a day, provided they slept for 8 hours. Quality sleep revolved around that religiously perfect number, with a bit more or a bit less being okay.

Not for me though.

I've been strictly adhering to that rule to 'fit in' and be 'normal'. Once the timer hits zero, I'm awake. That's how it normally went. However, these past couple of days tested my limit.

At first, they worked. Alcohol would quickly lull me to sleep and I'd complete my daily cycle no problem. However, it's not healthy to always rely on something, meaning, I needed an alternative. A backup. A spare. For this, the answer was obvious.

Companionship. A lover. I didn't care who or what, I just chose on a whim. Sex was an afterthought, like a free coffee or milkshake once you completed your stamp card; it's just how I thought about it. People sought love to fulfill their classification as social animals and I'm not an exemption. I'm trying to fit in, remember? Of course, those flimsy connections left a lot of loose strands like hair and such but unlike those, an empty heart was way beyond a lint roller's capabilities.

But hey, in the end, that helped me achieve the perfect eight hours of sleep so I'm not complaining. Win some, lose some, right?

Yes and no.

The more I entertained these people, the more it bugged me. Socializing was a double-edged sword. It's like medicine. On one side, you're now cured of your cold, and then the next moment, your liver is gone. There's nothing to win when you think about it. Everything was nothing but a mere shift. Like a kaleidoscope, turning it simply gave you a new perspective and nothing else. Like a bandaid, a problem persisted somewhere.

And the problem was, I still couldn't sleep.

Eight hours, check. Medication, check. A random person to waste energy and lull me in their arms, check. I sleep well and I sleep good.

But damn me to hell, I still couldn't actually sleep.

My methods worked before, but saying I got what I wanted for a night wasn't helping anyone. Was it because I'm getting used to things? Was it time to explore another alternative? If not for the alarm telling me to pull myself together and get to sleep, I would've started my seventeenth hour awake.

So, in the middle of—oh. It's one a.m. I made it past midnight, yay! No.

Why? Because I may or may not have been woken up by a damned call at an ungodly hour. Irritated, I took it with full intention to yell at the caller when I realized it wasn't my phone.

"Hi," A low yet playful voice cracked through the speaker. "I didn't disturb you, did I?"

"No," I was pulling at my hair so hard as I tried to fight the urge to either hang up or scream. Obviously, you're not disturbing people by calling them in the night, asshole.

A sigh of relief came through. "Whew, thought I was the only one. Can't sleep too?"

I moaned a reply, exhaustion suddenly taking over me. Mentally lashing out could be an alternative. Never thought of that… if only it actually gave me rest!

"Last night was amazing. Sorry, I just couldn't think of anything to talk about right now."

"It's alright."

There's a long pause. "Uh, so… I was just saying that it felt so good we might've exchanged phones. Haha, clumsy, I know."

"…"

"Uh, a little help here?"

"I'm not doing phone sex."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Quit shouting…"

"Sorry."

The line went silent. Save for the faint hum of the air-conditioner, the room was soundproof. It's so quiet even the sound of dust stirring was grating to my ears.

He picked up the conversation again. However, this time, to end it. He must've noticed he's being a nuisance. "So, should I hang up?"

"Decide for yourself," I'm mostly calm now, perhaps due to the medicine. I did take my meds, right? I don't care. "Should've thought twice before calling, huh."

He laughed. "Yep. I'm the worst."

"We both are."

I forgot to check how long our call lasted but thanks to that interruption, I still managed to hit that 8-hour sleep. Should I do the math? I doubt it. Maybe because of my lifestyle—let me rephrase that. Precisely because of my lifestyle, I daze out more often than I hoped. It's just that, as days went by, it occurred way too frequently. Sometimes, I could remember what I did, mostly though, it's just a long blank. If one were to guess, those long blanks were the times I've successfully conked out. Like true, pure sleep.

Sorry to burst your bubble, whoever you are, but that wasn't the case. Ever heard of that dangerous powder that messed up the memories of those who were unfortunate enough to take it? Yep, I used it for myself. And I even took advantage of that suggestible state to induce the perfect sleep.

Turned out my 16 hours were impacted instead. Thirty-eight hours. I remembered the female nurse… what was her name again? Cassey? She said that's about how long I've been out. Great! I did it! All I needed was to wake the hell up for the thirty and I'd get that perfect eight no problem. Take that, society!

Dammit!

I gazed at my phone on the bedside table, hoping for a miracle. Could a phone call actually be the key?

Ding. Dong~

I opened the door to receive an incredibly alluring woman. Ciel, she called herself, but I knew better. Names were mere masks embedded into us to instill a sense of 'self', a sense of 'being'. Once you threw that away, some things became easier.

She leaned back and took an eyeful of my attire, before cracking a little smirk. "Didn't take you for the kind to dress up, Mister Cendric."

I tucked my hands in my pockets and flashed a smile. Ciel's smirk grew. "How'd I look?"

She rolled her eyes, but I knew I already had her. "I'm just here to get my phone back. Apparently, we've exchanged."

I locked her in a tight embrace, gazing into her passion-filled eyes. "Come take it then."

I never really thought it was possible. However, after that time with Ciel, I finally understood it. This was it. The cure. I found the method that worked perfectly for me. I mean, third time's the charm, right?

Ding. Dong~

"Room service. Miss Cradle? Are you awake?"

I opened the door and let the maid gaze at me. She gasped in shock. Well, obviously she wouldn't expect to see me like this, completely nude, as I've never done this before. No matter, she'd get used to it and, before she knew it, I'd already fit in.

"M-Maam," she struggled to get the words out. "Can you please… umm… cover yourself… I—"

"It's uncomfortable, isn't it?" I sat on the bed and lit a cigarette. "You're the only one who knows so bear with it for me, mkay?"

"I-I-I-I won't tell a soul! Promise!"

I puffed a cloud of smoke. "Really, now?"

"I swear over my dead body!"

Her response tickled my sides. I burst out laughing I accidentally threw my cigarette at a wig lying nearby. Over her dead body? What a turn of phrase!

The fire was small yet spectacular, but the blaring fire alarm along with the morning shower we got from the sprinkler was well worth it.

Too bad it ruined a lot of my… a lot of the stuff. I never used any of these things that's why I'd rather face the maid with nothing but a blanket on than wear these distasteful, flowery cotton pajamas. I'm supposed to be a model, my goodness!

A few days passed by without a hitch and soon, another call came. This time, I'm expecting it.

"Where are you?" the man speaking on the other end of the line had this strong, no-nonsense tone. He's been maintaining a dignified image, one that's fitting for a business tycoon.

"At 3301. I'm at your hotel, Mister CEO."

"What?! What're you doing there?"

"Nothing… yet," I made sure to let those words drip heavy with untamed emotion. I knew exactly how to push his buttons.

"Alright. Stay there and don't ever get out."

"What if I disobey?"

I could feel his voice quiver. "Just don't do anything weird with my phone, got it? God, how could I get the wrong phone… what's with this phone anyway? It's not locked, no wallpaper, no customization, nothing…"

"I can still hear you, you know?"

He cut the line.

Meanwhile, I got to work. I prepared the fresh sheets and fixed the clutter of clothes and wigs lying around. The fire did quite a number on several clothes but she, the room owner didn't seem to mind. Who was she again? I remember her name started with… ah! Cradle. Yes! Cradle Mires. She's Cradle Mires.

"No, ma'am," I said. "Didn't you know the rumors? Cradle Mires wasn't the true owner!"

I passed by a full-body mirror. I did a little twirl and ended it with a graceful curtsy. My uniform was impeccable. Yup. Another day, Cecily. Another day of shutting down your brain and getting this over with as quickly as possible.

Although, it wouldn't hurt for a little bit of gossiping. I, Cecily, knew Miss Ciel was mistaken. Cradle wasn't—

"Be a good girl and finish your work quickly," Cendric patted my head.

I threw all the bright-colored shirts in the laundry basket. The man lived a slovenly life. He might be a lady-killer but his appeal was superficial. Peel that off and he's gone.

The numerous makeup kits had a bunch of different brands on them. The notes of perfumes, the tubes of toothpaste, the bottles of lotions, there's a certain way each item was used, as if a bunch of people lived here. I'd say, if I wasn't sleeping here too I'd question Miss Cradle how in the world could two, three… eighteen people use this room?

But alas I'm just a lowly maid. I took off my uniform and slipped into a satin chemise. Now, I'm a world-class model! Just kidding!

Ding. Dong~

I hurriedly kicked the maid uniform under the bed and rushed to open the door.

A tall man with a dignified presence, you know? The one who's used to standing at the top of the hierarchy? A man molded to be a world-shaper, the crème de la crème as they said.

He entered without warning and closed the door. "Where is it," It's not a question.

I sat at the edge of the queen-sized bed and crossed my legs. "Straight to the point as always. Although, I get what I want."

"Ciel. Stop this. We're already over. Done. What happened that time was a mistake…" His eyes began straying from mine so I had to take the lead.

Pulling him by his necktie, I took his lips in a kiss. These were supposed to be Ciel Mires' secret weapon. I was currently the best model in the world so I had every right to stand on equal footing with this guy.

Status, riches, etiquette. Those were ideas crammed by society to 'differentiate' people. As if we weren't supposed to be unique, this mob called 'belongingness' took upon itself the task of making everything monotonous. Black and white. Good and bad. Law and chaos. If one deviates from these they're immediately frowned upon, exiled, eradicated. Adapt or be left behind. Assimilate or learn the hard way.

Sleep.

The body needed eight perfect hours to maintain peak function. And for some reason, I was awakened again.

"Right," I sighed. Neither Ciel nor Cecily could do this. They're too 'normal'. Cendric, perhaps? He's got a way with words, but he's not the right option either.

I took to the closet and procured a box stashed in a hidden compartment. I opened it. There's a bunch of phones inside. All with different makes, different levels of uses, and varying designs, yet all share a similar purpose.

I could hear Cedric murmur something. This room was soundproof you could hear dust moving that's why I understood him. Loud and clear.

You're not Ciel.

I picked up a certain phone and held it up. "A little makeup can fix that. After all, once you've mastered a person, the only thing left to do is to assume their appearance."

I clicked my tongue. Pulling out the wig and wiping off the thick foundation, I sighed as I looked at the timer. Four hours.

Just enough time for me, Cradle Mires to perform her work.

When did it start, I wonder. No. Asking questions wasn't what society wanted. Conformity. Unity. Any difference must be studied and integrated. If it's detrimental to the whole, it'd be discarded and I tire of this cycle.

"Was this what you wanted?" Cradle asked the silence.

"I don't know," I said.

"How dare you!" Ciel lashed out. "I'm destined for more, for greater things! Curse you!"

But I gave you sixteen hours! I only wanted eight!

"That would've worked if there's not, like, a bajillion of us in here."

"You've made your decision," Cradle said. "Once you took the call there's no going back."

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEN?

Silence.

"You're the one calling the shots here," I wore a pair of glasses. "In my opinion, you need help."

Really? Cendric? Ciel? Cecily? Cedric? Cassey? Cradle? You're telling me I needed help?

I glanced at the timer. Their sixteen would soon be over. This conversation had gone long enough. I've had my fill and I needed to rest. I can finally turn in for the day. These side effects meant nothing if I could just achieve that perfect—

Bzzt. Bzzt.

"—!!!"

A call.

Deep into the night, around three hours in my sleep time, a phone lit up and vibrated. For some reason, I'm afraid to take this one. One, because my schedule would be broken, and two…

Well, because it's not mine.

But unlike the others, I recognized this one.

"C-Cassey?" I stammered. I couldn't, for the life of me, say her name straight out.

I picked up another phone lying around and answered, "It's been a while."

I sat up and rested my chin on my knees. The shuffling of fabric against skin and nail filling the tense silence as I twiddled my toes. "I… yeah."

"Since it's been a long time, you may rest easy now."

"I-I couldn't! I did something horrible I don't…" I stifled my sobs. Cassey wouldn't be crying on the other line. She's stronger than this… than anything I could ever be.

"You're not to blame. Nobody was to blame. You just… felt cornered, is all. I know because I've always been with you. Always, except for the time when you needed me the most."

"No! You've... It's me... I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry…"

"Of course! You're a kind, gentle soul, warped indistinguishable by the pressure of the world. It's not the world's fault either. You know how animals accidentally hurt their friends? That's what happened."

"But I killed you!" I blurted out. Yes. That's right. I remember. That's when the nightmare started.

I—She—Cassey shook her head. "Yes, and I deeply regret that. You shouldn't have endured more pain."

"Then… will you save me?"

I gazed at the empty room. Faces of many people lingered all over. Some were still fresh, some forgotten, but all were the same. I am them and they were me. They became mine. And for what? To bury the mistake I made. The first mistake.

No.

The first mistake wasn't Cassey. It's me desperately trying to sleep, trying to give up.

Forever.

Now I understood. The reason I was so fixated on the number eight. It's the symbol of infinity. Beginning without end. The Ouroboros.

I let the two phones slip out of my fingers. It's been a long night, and at nights like these, when the body and soul were too weary, a little room service would do the trick.

"Hi," I said over the hotel phone. "Can I get a cup of coffee? Black, please."

"Maam, I'm sorry but the dining hall is closed at this hour. I'll see what I can do for you."

"Thank you. I've got a long night ahead and the coffee would be a big help."

Once that's done, I took the notepad and pen lying around. I'd take on this one myself. This time I'd be wide awake. Can't write a confession asleep now, can we? Besides, there's another reason. Curious? Well, you see, it's because…

For some reason, I can't actually sleep.