(V2) Chapter 9: To Chase and To Save

“I actually tripped on my way home. That damned hump, my fists skid against the road.”

Akio-san’s brow scrunched slightly, but it relaxed as he turned around, much to my relief.

“You’re not that stupid to lose balance but I’ll buy it. But I'll ask your chick later.”

Thousands of my formulated excuses, but this one actually surprisingly worked on Akio-san.

The diner was nearly full, the rush of customers at noon starting to be a struggle.

I brought Ayase with me, and that look from Akio-san the first time he saw her, was satisfying.

With Ayase volunteering to help, my workload was practically cut in half. The customers lit up in a way they never did when I was the one serving them.

Is this what they called the cute maid girl effect?

Even so, I still did my share of the grunt work, clearing tables and wiping down counters despite the ache in my hands.

“Let me carry that for you, Ishida-san.” she stated—her gentleness is always on the picture.

I shrugged. I’d already offloaded most of the heavy tasks on her—there was no way I was letting her take the small ones too.

As the rush finally died down, I peeled off my gloves and headed to the sink to wash my hands.

Cold water ran between my fingers, soothing the dull sting of bruises.

Then—a shoulder bump.

“Splendid energy, huh?” Akio-san interrogates. “You seem not injured at all. Tell me, are you just showing off to your girlfriend?”

“G-girlfriend?” I exclaimed as I turned off the faucet. “We barely even talk!”

“Then,” he paused. “Trying to sweet-talk your way out of poverty through me?”

I removed the excess water from my hands.

“Yup,” I answered without hesitation. “I’m starting to save up.”

“So what’s the grand plan then? New house? Dating fund? An engagement ring?”

More cheesy remarks. Each one stung my pride just a little more.

“None of the above!” I snapped. “I’ll buy Ayase a new phone.”

Akio-san raised an eyebrow, and a playful grin formed in his lips.

“Really?”

I nod. “She doesn’t have one. No way to call or message anyone. No entertainment—nothing.”

A phone would fix that. I didn’t need a fancy brand, just something that worked.

I said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but for some reason, Akio-san was looking at me like he’d just won a bet.

“Be honest, bedhead.” He folded his arms, watching Ayase through the kitchen window. “Have you ever thought about liking that girl?”

I blinked.

Me…liking Ayase?

Had I ever even considered it?

It wasn’t because of Takamine-san. It wasn’t because of wealth, status, or distance.

No. It was something else.

Probably kinship.

I saw myself as her savior. Her guide. Maybe even an older brother figure.

Or at least…that’s what I thought.

But then—my gaze found her.

She was wiping down a table, slow and careful, like she actually cared about the job. Her sleeves were rolled up just enough to show her wrists, her fingers combing through her bangs absentmindedly. She smiled at the alleyway outside, watching people pass, hopeful that maybe one of them would walk in.

The dangling pink earrings I bought for her caught the light.

Her sweater—one I picked out—fit her just right.

Then it hit me, leaving my throat dry.

I noticed all of them. Every single one of them.

I cared. I spent the effort.

Akio-san is right, everyone that would see her would probably consider liking her.

For me…why do I even reject the chances?

"I see now." His tone was smug. Knowing.

My shoulders recoiled. “See what?”

“You, kid. You're already gone.”

"N-no!" I sputtered, voice cracking. "I was—I was calculating my salary! Trying to figure out how much the cheapest phone at the mall costs!"

Akio-san burst into full-bodied laughter, slapping my shoulder. "You really think I’m that dumb? Oh, you’re done for.”

I groaned, retreating out of the kitchen with heavy stomps.

And then I stopped.

At the exit, Ayase stood, a large trash bag in hand. “I’ll go throw this out!” she chirped.

I didn’t have time to protest and take the task on her behalf, as she slid on the glass doors with ease.

Akio-san stepped up beside me, giving me a pat to the shoulder.

“Changing a person is one heck of a feat, and she just did—she changed you.”

I didn’t respond. Akio-san wasn’t wrong. He is capable of seeing through me, and not just the environment he’s living in.

"It’s not too late to mend a broken heart," he continued. "The younger you are, the more room there is for mistakes. Knowing the truth about what you feel won’t end the world. It won’t haunt you forever."

I swallowed hard.

I wanted to say something. Anything.

But maybe…it just wasn’t the right time yet.

Then—something cut through my thoughts.

The trash bin was only a few steps outside.

Ayase still hadn’t come back.

"Ayase?" I muttered, my feet moving before my brain could catch up.

I pushed open the door—

And froze.

She stood there, just beyond the glass, her back slightly turned, shoulders tense. Her gaze was locked on the alleyway. Frozen.

"Ayase?" I called again.

She jolted, as if snapping out of a trance, then quickly spun to face me.

There it was—just for a second. A look in her eyes. Something raw. Shock? Fear? Pain?

But then, just as quickly, it was gone.

She giggled. "J-just saw a rat!"

I stared at her.

She smiled like nothing happened.

"...Oh," I muttered, stepping aside to let her in.

But deep inside, I knew.

That wasn't just a rat.

That look in her eyes told me everything.

Something was wrong.

***

And the succeeding days the problem with her became more obvious.

She still smiled and laughed like normal, but there was really something to worry about.

Sometimes, I will just find her staring at the apartment windows out in the open, unmoving, like she was seeing something—or someone—that wasn’t really there.

A ghost. A memory. A nightmare. I can’t determine.

Or how she jolts whenever she notices my approach.

She even burned the pancakes she cooked—while spacing out next to the pan she’s working on. Sometimes the miso pots overflowed while she just stood there watching it.

There are times that I have to barge in the bathroom just to remind her to get out of the bathtub, just because she took hours just staring at the ceiling.

I don't know if it's because of her panic attack seeing my bruises back then. Maybe the time she froze at the mall hallway. Whatever it is, it's consuming me.

And when I can’t take the situation anymore, I steeled my courage to confront her directly.

She was slipping, and I can't afford it.

"Ayase, is everything alright? You don't eat enough, you barely sleep, your body is failing."

At my words, she finally snaps out of her trance and looks over. Her face pales and turns red as she realizes I caught her.

It’s never easy for me, as someone who grew accustomed to her cheerful and lively personality.

I need to protect her, and she must understand that I need clarity too.

"I'm sorry, Ishida-san. I'm just...thinking a lot..."

She starts eating the breakfast I've prepared for us, but chokes and retches halfway through.

"I have...no appetite..." she mutters after recovering.

The sight of her like this is pitiful and heart wrenching, and I always tried to heave a sigh and relax myself.

I take off my apron and set it aside. Then I crouch down next to her and pull her into a tight embrace.

Her soft and fragile frame trembled against me, but she returned the embrace without hesitation. She clutched at my shirt as if to hold on for dear life.

"You said that it's not bad to ask for help, right?"

I felt her nod against my shoulder.

"Then, can I ask for a favor?"

"...Always, Ishida-san..."

I exhaled.

This is the right way to do it, right?

"Can you be honest and tell me what's wrong?"

I tried to sound as gentle as I could be. I don't want to intimidate her or press her to a forced confession.

She remained silent until she had calmed down, and it was only then that I realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Un," she sobbed. "I'm just too afraid that I might hurt you…that—I never wanted to do that…”

“Have you?” I asked. “You've done nothing but good all of this time.”

“But Ishida-san…I'm so selfish! It's all my fault!"

My eyes widened upon hearing her sob, and I pulled away from her to look at her face. As expected, tears were pouring down her cheeks uncontrollably and falling onto her lap.

I used my thumb to wipe them off her cheekbone gently. "Hey, hey, stop crying. No one is selfish here, okay?"

She sniffled, wiping at her eyes again. "But I am!"

She burst into tears again, unable to control it any longer. This is definitely not the kind of attitude I want her to adopt for my sake, but I can't stop her now. And it’s probably the right thing to do, so I let her continue as long as she needs. Eventually, her sobs subsided to small hiccups, and I wiped a few more tears off her cheeks with my thumbs.

She looked up at me with red puffy eyes, and I offered her a reassuring smile.

"I don't want them to separate us."

"Is it the flower shop owner?"

She shook her head.

Then, she nudged her face on my chest and started to break down again.

And we stayed like that for a very long moment. This time I knew emotional intelligence couldn't be taught from an instruction manual. It's just a natural instinct.

It's not saving someone from harm or battling delinquents, it's a war between unseen enemies to keep them at bay. So, as a friend and partner, the best I could manage was to comfort and hold her while letting the flow of her pain run its course.

And within the next day the air felt lighter and her mood became warmer. We never talked again about her outburst and I'm glad that she was able to smile again at least a bit, and she's back to her usual self.

She was able to cook meals like what we used to, but I took most of the workload for her to rest.

Then—

One restless night occurred and sleep still hadn’t come.

I’d twisted, turned, and contorted myself in every possible way on the living room sofa, but no position felt right. No matter what I did, I couldn’t relax.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it—Ayase, frozen. The memories of the last few days reeled uncontrollably.

I gripped my blanket tighter, my knuckles turning white.

Frustrated, I yanked my phone off the table, hoping to distract myself. Something. Anything.

The screen lit up, making me squint. Notifications flooded in—messages from Saori, Akito, and Takamine-san in our group chat.

Four days.

I’d been absent for four straight days.

And I never even told them why.

I exhaled, fingers hovering over the keyboard—

A door creaked.

A sharp jolt ran through me.

Ayase’s bedroom.

Instinct took over. I clicked my phone off and buried myself under the blanket, holding my breath.

If she saw me awake, I’d be met with another one of her soft, worried scoldings. “Are you sleeping properly, Ishida-san?” “You need to take care of yourself, you know.”

And yet—her footsteps were different.

Slow.

Heavy.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Closer.

Louder.

Then—they stopped.

Right in front of me.

Silence.

Every second stretched unbearably long. My pulse pounded in my ears. I braced myself, waiting for her to lift the blanket and check on me.

But she didn’t.

Instead—

"I’m sorry, Ishida-san."

My breath hitched.

Sorry?

For what?

The air thawed.

It was thick, heavy and unbearable..

My body refused to move, muscles locked, as if weighted down by concrete.

I wanted to speak. To ask.

But I couldn't.

Then—her footsteps.

Slowly, they retreated.

The door creaked open—

Then shut.

And just like that, she was gone.