The Two and Us

Today it feels like I’m being stabbed at the back—these awful glares pinned onto me are like sharp fragments thrown at me.

Especially one person—the girl who shattered Ao. Sayaka. Sayaka Takahashi.

It’s because of what happened yesterday. A total disaster. Friendship breakup.

Sayaka... She didn’t need to drag me into it—but she did. I’ll remember it.

Everyone thinks I’m a bad person now. Great. As if being the world’s loneliest loner wasn’t enough. 

“Using Ao for his own good—sticking to her so he’d stand out more,” they say. 

“He’s the reason why Sayaka and Ao fought,” they say.

Woah. I definitely don’t want to be that guy.

…

After Ao ran away, I didn’t go after her. I just sat there.Because that’s what I do. I stay where I’m not needed. Like a good guard dog would be.

Ao did not go back to class in the afternoon. It’s not like I need her to come back, anyway. After all—I’m just a loner. I don’t expect someone to run back to me. Especially if we weren’t friends.

Yesterday afternoon passed by like the wind. As usual, I slipped past everyone. I didn’t go to any clubs, no meetups. I didn’t even go to the usual vending machine. I went straight back home.

No playgrounds.

No sidewalk meetings.

No gate waiting.

No Ao.

Just home.

She’s here today. Honestly, I thought she’d stay at home after what happened. Or maybe that’s just what I would’ve done.

The atmosphere feels off—quiet, but not peaceful. Suffocating, even. But again, it’s not like I’m not used to it. I’m a loner, after all.

The intense silence between Ao and Sayaka is loud, it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s a place I don’t want to be in. Again.

…

Ao didn’t talk to me again.I mean, it’s not like I made the first move…This is not like me at all.

I even asked my sister for advice. And all she told me was: “You’re an idiot.”

I’m never buying her watermelon pudding ever again.

But she did say something, though.

“Since you’re so dense… even if you’re perceptive sometimes—why don’t you just straight up ask her?”

I don’t think it’s that easy, though. If she keeps avoiding me, then maybe she wants me to figure it out on my own. Asking her directly wouldn’t give me an answer, big sis.

Although I guess she’s right—about the perceptive part.I guess I’ll really have to ask her directly, then.

It’s not like I want to drag this on forever.

Solitude will be given to me, sure. But I wouldn’t be able to handle it without knowing the truth.

But why do I even bother? So long as I have my solitude back, then that settles it. 

Why do I even care suddenly?

What’s this feeling? Curiosity? Guilt? Or do I actually really care? I don’t know. But this is definitely not like me.

I stared out the window, head resting on my left hand. Then I glanced right, I see Ao. Fidgeting, twirling her fingers around. Probably still thinking about what happened yesterday.

She looked at me.

Our eyes locked—then it broke.

But she never said anything.

She’s avoiding me.

Obviously.

But maybe that’s her way of saying something—without saying it. 

Something I feel like I know. It’s there, inside me—but I can’t pull it out. It just felt like I was given a quest without any directions at all. It’s telling me to figure this out myself.

Her fingers kept looping, like they were trying to tie thoughts into something that made sense.And for some reason, I couldn’t look away.

While I was distracted staring at Ao, I noticed someone staring at me like a cat defending her territory.

Ah, her. Sayaka Takahashi. Looking at me again like I’m dirt on the wall.

Seriously, what’s her problem with me?

…

Lunchtime. Rooftop again. Prime Loner-o’clock.

But what seems empty is actually inhabited by two people.

Ichijo, which is me.

And another one is someone who really likes music. I could hear their music from here, and thanks to them, my peaceful and quiet Loner-o’clock is ruined.

This song… Didn’t Ao say that she likes it?

She kept telling me about it that I just know.

After I finished eating, I packed my lunch. But instead of going straight to the classroom, I looked for the tune.

Besides, I thought that if it may be Ao, then now’s the chance to talk to her.Be happy, Ao. This one hell of a loner is actually willing to talk to you. Not like it’s something to be happy about.

I checked behind the entrance.

The far corner.

Even the staircase.

No one. Of course, why would that be easy?

And then—

“Ah, there you are, Ao…”

Was not her.

“What do you want, loner?”

Sayaka.

I looked down the school grounds and saw Ao on a bench, eating alone. I looked back at Sayaka.

Well, I guess I’m the one who ended up with bad luck.

“What’s someone like you doing here?” I asked.

She glared at me like I’d stepped on her foot. She even stopped the music.

“None of your business.”

“While sitting in my personal rooftop domain? Definitely my business.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

“I mean, you kind of do.”

“You dragged me into your mess with Ao. Now I’m apparently her emotional crutch?”

“Shut up.”

“Hearing your voice already ruined my appetite.”

Harsh. But expected. She didn’t even look at me when she said it.

Wait—she called me loner. Not who are you?

So she knows me.

“You said Ao likes me, right? Now you’re the one following me. That’s kind of weird.”

“Didn’t know Ms. Rose Thorns would turn out to be so clingy.”

No answer.

I guess even Ms. Cold Heart didn’t have the energy to talk to me.

Why am I even talking to her? I could’ve just walked away.

But maybe… if I can get the two of them to talk again, Ao’ll leave me alone.

Maybe I can finally go back to being invisible.

No guilt. No noise.

Huh. That’s new. Me? Feeling guilt?

“You’re even listening to Ao’s favorite band.”

Her hand twitched. She gritted her teeth.

So I was right.

She said those things to Ao not just out of spite.

She meant to push Ao away, but part of her still cared. She gave Ao something to think about.

“Feeling guilty now?” I asked.“Doesn’t matter. Nothing you do will work anyway.”

Silence.

Then—

“…You think you’re any better than me?”

I sighed.

What am I even doing—getting tangled in someone else’s problems?

“No. I think we’re both pretty pathetic.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“You don’t know anything about me either.”

Silence again. Not just awkward now—it was heavy. Dense.

For once, even our hate wasn’t loud enough to cover it.

Then she said—“I hate you.”

Too fast. Too forced. Like she needed to say it before it slipped away.

“I hate me, too,” I replied.

“But I’d rather hate myself than let you do it for me.”

That made her freeze.

Her fingers clenched. Like something finally snapped into place—but not in a way that made her angry. Just… aware.

Maybe she finally saw it.That I wasn’t here to fight.

I was just tired.

Tired of being the villain in her story—and mine.

I didn’t say anything else.I just left.

And for once, I didn’t feel like I was running away.I just didn’t want to break something that was already cracked.

But that doesn’t end anything. I know, I still have to look at someone who has been avoiding me for a while.