TASTE OF THE ROTTEN APPLE

It was Alaska — 8 or 9 years younger.

My eyes locked onto her, trying to catch every detail of her younger version. She looks like a little angel, cute and innocent… no, not innocent. Wait, maybe she actually is an angel; she has small wings on her back, wearing a pure white frock, and was only missing that classic golden halo over her head.

Her hairs thicker, no signs of the hairfall apocalypse. She looked like she’d been shrunk by a small light, limbs so thin and fragile I felt like I could accidentally crush this delicate little flower just by holding her.. Her skin was not glowing enough to rival the present, but fine, eyes having more light, the light every child has of ignorance. I was trying to fetch more details, but then she asked:

“Are you lost?”

I took a small pause to think and said, “Yes, I am lost,” with a soft smile on my face.

She smiled…

My eyes grew as wide as they could. She was saying something… I wonder what, because my brain right now was functioning on its own, focusing only on her smile. I could feel my heart getting warm — ahhh, what should I do, it aches so much… so much in my heart.

Her smile was pulsating a blinding light onto me. Just like the Alaska I know — this is the one thing that hasn’t changed at all. I swear she doesn’t need wings, any white clothes, or that golden halo — she looks like an angel from her smile alone.

She is the person I’ve fallen for…

She approached me, rushed in, grabbed my hand, and said cheerfully:

“Then let’s go to my house.”

There was a song playing in the background — until I found her. I’m sure the scenery around me was beautiful, like something out of a fantasy land, but why… why couldn’t I see anything but her? She was pulling my hand, leading me somewhere, skipping forward on those small legs.

A unicorn appeared out of nowhere. She hugged it, climbed on, and motioned for me to get on too. Before I realized it, I was soaring through the sky, swimming past cotton candy clouds — and she was having the time of her life.

We reached her house. Like all the houses, it was also made of blueberry cake. Holding my hand, she led me inside.

“Uncle, do you like blueberry cakes?”

Honestly, I don’t give a damn about the blueberry flavour, I was happy with just eating cakes with her.

I smiled and said, “If you are going to give it to me, I would love to eat it.”

She brought out so many cakes that the table was overflowing. Her expression said this much was nothing to her — she could probably finish all of it even if I weren’t there to help.

While eating, she looked at me with a curious face and asked, “Do you like it here?”

Awww, she’s so cute.
“Yes. I love being here.”

It was so peaceful. I was willing to live here forever.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Move it! Dammit! Move your body. I just can’t let everything end like this. He likes to cook women — which means Milly might be the first one he kills. …(note: POV is shifted as Drake for this scene)

I have to somehow get rid of the effects of drugs from my body, but how?

After some thinking, I thought that I didn’t have time, so I started to tell my body to move desperately. I started trying smaller. First, I want to move the index finger of my right hand, I want to move my eyelids, and then I will move my limbs. I will start one by one.

I gave the command to my finger: Move!
No luck.
Again, I gave the command to my finger: Move!
Again: Move!
Move! Move!
Move!

I kept trying again and again. I couldn’t even see how Milly was. Was she okay? Was she breathing?

I somehow have to move. At least carry Milly somewhere safe.

Again, I gave the command to my finger: Move!

I tried again and again and again, but just couldn’t make it.

Move my finger. Dammit movee!! I was using every bit of energy in moving just one finger, or so I think, because even if I was not moving an inch, I was feeling mentally exhausted after some point of trying. I tried harder and harder and then got exhausted, and again, regained my consciousness to try to move. A cycle of strain, blackout, and desperate hope.

I was numb to how many times I was trying, I tried so many times now that I am doing it unconsciously, and started to think if I could plead to God, would he help me?

And then, for the first time in my life, I prayed.

Please…
Please, if you’re real, help me. Just this once.
I know I never believed in you. I’ve mocked the people who did.
But now I’m here pleading to you for help. Please help me save Milly.

I wonder how many times, how many times I tried to move my body while pleading to God. I just couldn’t do it. Well, maybe that’s just how it is. Out of nowhere, even if I started to believe in God, He’s not going to show up. I started losing my heart from repeated failure.

This bastard is speaking something now, is he talking to Alex? I just couldn’t care what he is talking about, even God has decided not to help me, so I guess this is it.

“I guess it’s time to prepare the meat. Let’s start with this girl… ahh… what was her name? Milly.”

What? What did this bastard just say? Is he going to kill Milly first?

No. No! cut the damn joke! You must be joking, right? There were so many options, but you decided to take her first, didn’t you? Fuck you! I will not allow you to touch her, no matter what. Move my damn body!

Fuck you! Fuck God! I don’t need his help, I will save her on my own. If I am not good enough as it is, then I will go beyond my limits right now and here.

MOVEE!!!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________

I was full from eating so much cake.

“You said you love to be here, right?”

“Yes. Yes. I said so.” I replied, stroking my stomach with a delighted look on my face.

She gave a purest smile and said, “Then why don’t you stay here. You can stay at the house beside mine, and you can eat these cakes whenever you want.”

The song stopped playing, and the surroundings started becoming clearer.

‘Hey, isn’t it fine now. You’ve stayed here for quite some time now. It’s time to go back to reality.’

The kingdom of constant smiles that ruled my face for so long collapsed in seconds.

It was my unconscious self.

In a lucid dream, the line between conscious and unconscious is always ambiguous. The unconscious can take over pretty easily. I have read about the details of this unconscious self — it takes over when it senses something is harmful to your survival.

Thanks to Rotten Apple's experiences with situations like this and with demons, I’m basically omniscient in this world. And with my unconscious self combined, I’m also omnipotent.
(Or so — if what he wrote in his books is correct.)

‘Yes, I know. I know I can’t stay here forever — more than anyone else. It’s just... I can’t help myself. But anyway, I guess I have to move now.’
I said to my unconscious self.

‘Then I guess it’s time to work,’ the unconscious self said while gripping the sword at his waist.

Chapter 3 of ‘Those Sleep Paralysis Dreams’: The Sword That Cuts Nothingness tells how to defeat your sleep paralysis demon.

In order to defeat it, all you need is a sword — and enough time.

“Alaska, it was nice spending time with you,” I said while giving a pretentious smile.
The next second, I steeled my expression.

“I think it’s time to show your true form.”

The smile on her face dropped for the first time. “What are you talking about, Alex?”

“Acting in front of me will be meaningless, demon.”

“You are the only one present here, aren’t you? Making such a paradise for me to make me stay here.”

“I am sorry, but I have read this type of setting too many times. So stop wasting my time and let’s begin.”

She chuckled nastily.

“You seem quite a sharp one,” her voice changed into a sinister tone.
“Interesting… I guess I can’t fool you.”

Turning into his demon form, he said,

“Trapping you forcefully is still the same thing in the end.”

He was massive — at least the size of a mountain.
He looked like a living embodiment of nothingness, with just eyes and a mouth..

I instinctively got my guard up in front of him. I made my resolve to defeat him here and escape to reality. It’s just my hypothesis, but maybe if I were to escape from this ‘Sleep Paralysis’, I might overcome the paralysis in my body and be able to move. At the very least — it was worth trying.

Letting out a great roar, he changed the surroundings at once.

“The Endless Void.”

I slowly opened my eyes. I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel anything.

I gained my clarity of thoughts and realized I was inside nothingness. It was an endless darkness, where every sense lost its meaning. Kinesthesia was my only support.

‘I will leave this part for you, Unconscious self!’

‘Yes, leave it to me.’

I started striking nothing with the imaginary sword in my hand.

I slashed… slashed… and slashed.

I slashed single-mindedly thinking about cutting, I slashed nonstop, rigorously, without a single wasted moment. After some time, I can see that there is a sword formed in my hand from continuous imagination.

I struck for what felt like hours. No progress. No fatigue.
My unconscious self had shut down every other sensory organ, focusing everything on the act of slashing.

I started feeling dizzy — I wasn’t needed anymore.
So I shut myself down too, giving maximum energy to my unconscious self, keeping only the minimum for me.

He slashed… slashed… and slashed. Maybe after two or three days (or so it felt), I finally slit open the darkness.

All my functions started again. My awareness came back, and I could see a faint but existing cut in the darkness letting in light. It fucking worked man. Hell yeahh!!!

I once asked the author, Manan, on the site where he posted his work:
“If someone were to ask you, ‘How did you keep your motivation up? How did you cut the darkness? How did you know what to do?’ — what would you say?”

He knew I was one of his biggest fans. And he answered simply:

‘I always believed I could cut nothingness.
I just needed a sword and enough practice.’

He’s damn cool, isn’t he?

As soon as I saw hope — the slit closed again.
And I saw the reason why.

There was a face in the darkness. Not a full face — just eyes and a mouth.

He smirked at me with a creepy voice, like he was mocking me.
I don’t know — maybe it’s because I’ve imagined this kind of scenario so many times before — but even now, face to face with a Sleep Paralysis Demon,
I wasn’t scared at all.

The only thought I had was:

‘ALL I HAVE TO DO IS CUT IT, RIGHT?!’

As I started attacking him, he became unhappy and started dodging. Maybe a few seconds later, he remembered he was a demon and he had the upper hand here and started attacking me.

His every attack was straight-up death.

Every time I died, I was regressed to the moment before I’d made any progress — forced to start again.
Like my brain forgot how to do anything else.

I kept regressing, learning, and re-learning how to cut the nothingness…
And how to reach him.

Countless times I died.
Countless times I started over.
But with every loop — I progressed.

And finally, maybe after a few more hours, I surpassed him.

In the final regression, after a furious battle, I cut him across the face and escaped through the opening. As I passed through it, I was out of his void.

“You cheeky brat! You will never be able to escape into reality.”

I looked back to see his real form as I emerged.

He was bear-sized — massive — dressed in a suit like some kind of office employee.
His face resembled that of a wild goat.

“I, the DEMON OF NOTHINGNESS, am far more than you can handle.”
he said, swinging his sword at me.

I barely managed to dodge it and fell back into my stance.

‘Switch up, unconscious! It’s my turn.’

“If I’m not good enough…”

I took a deep breath.
Planted my feet into the ground like anchored pillars.
Raised my arms above my head, both hands gripping the hilt of my sword.
My eyes burned — glowing with the kind of light that only appears at the brink of breaking through.
The air around me twisted.

“I just have to transcend my limits right now and here.”

“DIMENSIONAL SLASH!”

HAVE A BITE OF MY ROTTEN APPLE