Chapter 5: The Last Night Before Departure

Tide's Reversal
Chapter 5: The Last Night Before Departure

When Tom returned home, it was so late that all the members of his family were fast asleep.
At least, that's what he thought. Charlotte had left him a long-cold dinner in the kitchen, while she pretended to be asleep.
Tom noticed this but didn't want to talk to her—at least not now. If she was doing this, she probably had her reasons.
On one hand, he felt relieved—he had something to say to his wife, but definitely not right now.
He needed a little more time to sort things out, to ensure his convictions became a foundation, not a fragile thatch that couldn't withstand even a gentle breeze.

He couldn't manage a proper sleep. Only brief half-hour stretches pulled him into slumber before tossing him back into reality like something foreign.
When Charlotte emerged into the living room with the first rays of dawn, he looked utterly dreadful.

- My God, Tom, what's wrong with you?! Did you catch a cold yesterday?

- Everything's fine, dear. I just couldn't sleep.

- Working late again...

- No, I didn't even sit down with the maps yesterday.

- I didn't sleep well either.

- I know... It's all because of yesterday.

- I think we shouldn't talk about it now. Let's have some warm milk instead. We need to find strength from somewhere.

- Thank you... Truly, thank you, Charlotte.

- Don't overdo it, Captain Warren—it's just a small breakfast.

- Truly, Charlotte. Yesterday—and not just yesterday—I hurt you deeply, and...

Maybe you don't notice it, but I truly understand what you have to go through because of me. All I'm asking for now is, perhaps, a little time. Time for me to figure things out so we can finally discuss everything honestly.

- I've always known that, Tom.

- Known what?

- I know you're not made of stone. I know you've been blaming yourself all this time, and yesterday I felt ashamed for bringing up that topic again, the one that hurts you so much. Forgive me. It was selfish of me to nag you about it again.

- You don't need to apologize now, Charlotte! It's all my fault.

- Don't forget—you're not alone. We're a family. I'll carry this burden with you until you're ready. You don't have to take it all on yourself. We'll manage together. At least, I want to believe that...

- Thank you...

- Come on! Don't make that face, or you'll look like a beaten dog.

Charlotte approached and gently hugged Tom. In that moment, he was completely vulnerable before her.
They didn't resolve what to do about his next expedition, but this small morning conversation made them both realize that, no matter what, they weren't indifferent to each other.
They had something that couldn't be taken away. And neither of them wanted to drift apart from this warm, comforting fire—one that warmed, not burned.

In truth, it was hard to call Tom a deeply spiritual man, yet surely this has happened to you too.

When all is well, you're an agnostic and all for science, but when something goes wrong, that inner voice reveals your true stance on God.

After their impromptu breakfast, Tom decided to visit the church. Not that he expected to find any support there.
Rather, he needed a quiet place where he could think things over against a different backdrop.
Besides, being in church always brought him a sense of calm.

- Sigh... It's as quiet as ever here.

Of course it was. Few people visited the church on Wednesdays.

- I thought only the waves could calm you...

- Who's there?

Tom looked around but saw no one to claim the jest. Yet the voice sounded oddly familiar.

- Hello?!

There was no one around. Could this be another strange, eerie dream?

- Strange... I clearly heard a voice.

- What voices, eh?

- Steff!

- Hello, little Tom!

- Damn it! Are you teasing me?

- Just decided to poke a bit of fun at our famed captain.

- Enough of that! You're the one who taught this captain how to tie a bowline.

- And did you ever learn to do it properly in the end?

- Enough, I said!

- Alright, alright. Don't cry now, like during your first storm.

Tom was glad to meet old Steffen. This fact remained unacknowledged by Tom, but he hadn't chosen to visit the church today by chance.
He knew he might find Steffen there.

- Weren't you scared your first time?

- Sometimes I think my mother gave birth to me during a storm.

- More like a storm of beer waves.

- Oh! So you've grown bold enough to talk back like that. But you're right, Tom—my two greatest passions are the sea and alcohol.

- I noticed.

- Tommy, Tommy, you can mock me when you shave off those milk mustache of yours.

- You know they're not milk anymore.

- I'll pretend I believe you. But enough... Why are you here?

- I was about to ask you the same thing?

- Show a little respect for my age... I often stroll here.

- Because it's peaceful?

- You bet... Haven't you thought it's a bit odd?

- What exactly?

- At sea, it's hard to find a quiet moment amid the waves. You're constantly hearing sounds creaks, the crash of waves, raindrops falling. Over time, you get so used to them that they become your silence.

Tom had never looked at it that way, but Steffen was right. He'd long forgotten what true silence felt like.

- And now, when you hear real silence... It's like it sucks you in. Like everything around you becomes unreal.

- I haven't noticed that.

- I hope you never will, Tommy. You're still young. Your life could turn out much better than mine—provided you work at building it.

- Work at building it...

- How's your wife? Your daughter?

- Why do you ask?

- Only a fool wouldn't guess why you're cooling off here at this hour. I could assume you've turned to religion on the brink of maturity, but I know you too well for that.

- Nothing escapes you...

- Come on... Did you think your demeanor was some great mystery against this ivy backdrop?

- Enough, I said!

- Sorry, sorry. I won't tease you anymore, especially since no one's home to comfort you today. Poor Mrs. Warren—she could've found herself a sturdy blacksmith instead of a sniveling sailor like our Tommy.

Tom sighed.

On one hand, he didn't like Steffen mocking him. But it brought a certain relief, as if the situation between him and Charlotte was far simpler than he'd imagined.
As if he were still too young to understand, and old Steffen would toss him a few pearls of wisdom from his long years, washing all his troubles away with the morning tide.

- What would you do in my place?

- Ohhh...

- What?

- You're acting like a grown boy now, aren't you? Maybe it's time to start making decisions on your own? And taking responsibility for them...

- But I...

- I get it... But I don't know exactly what happened between you two. I can only guess that you've run into a sailor's greatest problem.

- By the way... I never asked... Were you ever married?

- No, I wasn't...

- Why...?

- It's a long story, lad... Let's just say it didn't work out...

- As you said, no one's waiting for me at home today... So...

- Don't be silly. Not waiting...

- Maybe not, but I'd love to hear your story.

- So you enjoy pestering old folks, huh?

- Sorry for interrupting your important business... What might that be?

- Well, well... But you're too young to try teasing me back. You've got little chance, and by the time you're ready, I might not be among the living. So try now—might leave you with some pleasant memories.

- Enough, I said! Tell me!!!

- You're persistent, lad. But it won't be that simple.

- Why not?

- I wouldn't wish for you to understand why.

Steffen spoke in riddles, but as far as Tom remembered, he'd always been like that.
The old man was like a second father to him, guiding him alongside Richard since he was a boy.
They'd sailed together when Steffen was still a boatswain on the Santa Maria.
But after retiring years ago, rumors began to spread that he'd gone mad. They say he talks to himself, constantly calling out to someone named Lily, and when people try to calm him, he first lashes out, then cries bitterly until his senses return.

- You know, lad...

- Are you finally going to tell me?

- Not quite. I heard you're setting sail again next week.

- Yes... That's why my wife and I are having this conflict.

- Not that I don't understand her. Men are all fools, never noticing what's right under their noses.

- I was hoping for advice, not criticism.

- If you want soothing advice, go a few steps to the house of God. Here, you'll only get the truth.

- Sigh...

- I have a proposition for you, lad.

- What is it?

- I need you to fulfill one request of mine, and in return, after you come back, I'll tell you the whole story.

- Such a high price for a failed love story from a man who's practically falling apart.

- No time for jokes, lad. You've probably heard the rumors that I've gone mad?

- I've heard something like that.

- And what do you think? Am I in my right mind?

- Right now, you're the same as I remember you.

- That's what I mean. Strange things have been happening, Tom. The sea... It's become more dangerous. Not like it used to be... I'll tell you everything I know, but I need something from you first.

- And what's that?

- Come to the southern coast tomorrow morning at dawn. I'll bring what's needed, and we'll talk there.

- Can't we do it now?

- No, lad... And anyway... It's time for me to go.

Only a blind man wouldn't notice how Steffen's face changed when his wife was mentioned.
His gaze turned empty, his face gray.
And he started hurrying off somewhere...

- Wait!

- Farewell, Tommy! Tomorrow at dawn on the southern coast!

- Alright, I'll be there!

- Take care of yourself! And those you love! For a storm will sweep away everything poorly secured—remember that! Keep your feet dry, and may the universe aid you.

Steffen's warning didn't sound encouraging at all. But the riddle of Steffen only fueled Tom's inner fire.
Tom loved mysteries, but he loved solving them even more!