Chapter 4

The next day, I watched her prepare another potion, mixing a myriad of ingredients into the large cauldron and filling the room with the now-familiar scent of autumn rain and jasmine. She was just as devoted to the task as she had been when trying to summon a spirit, and just like then, I didn't think she would relent until she’d succeeded.

Watching her put all her waking time into caring for me, all the while neglecting herself, made me sad, though. Even if I appreciated her actions, it made no difference to my wooden body. Did she really hate herself as much as she said she did? And if that was true, then why?

Even after having spent so much time with her, she was still a mystery to me. Why did she believe she needed to summon a spirit when she could simply walk out the door and make new friends? Why had she come to believe no one liked her? After all, getting to know someone from her own world must be easier than trying to summon an arbitrary spirit and bind it into a doll. Those questions lingered on my mind, and yet I found no answer.

I turned to watch the flickering candlelight casting its shadow on the walls. My wooden body had begun to move more readily, and I could lift my arm almost as easily as I imagined it would be for her. But for all that progress, I felt more limited than ever. It was a far cry from how it used to be before I bound myself to this doll. If I could move freely as I used to, I could do something to lighten her heart. But now, all I had was my smile. Why hadn’t I ever thought about doing something before when I still had the chance?

Her soft footsteps broke the silence, and I turned my head in her direction.

“Mia, I am ready. Shall we try again?”

She looked exhausted as she stood there in front of me, but even so, her eyes shone with a newfound purpose. I smiled and nodded, wondering if she would have enough strength to carry me. I wished so dearly I could help her in some way.

She stumbled when she tried to lift me, and her leg hit the chair, but she didn’t drop me. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to hold on to her, wanting to help her as much as my wooden body let me.

“I am sorry, Mia”, she whispered as she walked to the door, carefully placing one foot before the other.

I wished I could tell her it was all right and ask her if she hurt herself, but my body only let me look into her eyes and smile.

“Mia…”

She carried me to her bedroom and laid me on the bed before leaving for the laboratory to retrieve the potion. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of her footsteps disappearing into the hallway. Maybe, even in my current state, there was something I could do for her. Something that would make her feel better. I lay there, contemplating it, and I must have drifted off because I suddenly realised she hadn’t returned. I opened my eyes and turned to the door. Had something happened to her?

I tried to get up, and after some struggle, managed to move my legs to the edge of the bed. Carefully, I pushed myself up to sit, but at that moment, my wooden body failed me, and I fell to the floor. I stared at the door. It was closed, I realised now, so even if I had succeeded in getting to it, the lock would still have been beyond my reach.

I could feel my panic rising. Why was I so useless? What if something had happened to her? She had looked so fragile even before she carried me here. I tried to move my arm and, after much effort, pulled it out from underneath me. I dug my fingers into the grooves between the flat stones that made up the floor and slowly forced my body to crawl towards the door.

Alena…

I made so much noise that I didn’t hear her coming into the room.

“Mia!”

She ran to me and knelt down, pulling me into her arms.

“Mia, what happened? I shouldn't have left you alone, I am sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around her, and I could feel her tears wetting my cheek.

“Mia..”

I disentangled myself from her and smiled. I didn’t want her to cry, but this time, it wasn’t enough.

“I wanted you to be happy ”, she sobbed quietly, burying her face in my shoulder. “I wanted you to…”

Her voice broke from the sobs and trailed off. I wanted to tell her that everything was okay, but only a squeaky noise came out of my mouth. At least I caught her attention, and she looked up at me with her stormy eyes. I smiled and put my hand on her head. Her ash-coloured hair tumbled between my wooden fingers, and she smiled.

“Mia..”

I pointed at the bed, and she lifted me and gently lay me on the soft mattress, sitting down next to me. She wiped her tears and stroked my hair before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a vial with the potion. She tilted it in her hand, watching golden liquid stirring inside the glass before placing it on the nightstand next to the bed.

“Shall we try…?” she smiled and looked at me.

Her eyes were once more full of light, and I smiled seeing it. Carefully, she undressed me, folded the garment and put it on the bed. She opened the vial, and the air filled with the smell of autumn rain and jasmine.

I watched her as she carefully began to massage it into my wooden body. Her hands left a faint tingling as they moved over the surface, and her touch left me drowsy. I closed my eyes and listened to the soft buzz of life outside.

“How do you feel?” she asked softly, and I opened my eyes and looked at her smiling face.

I didn’t want to break the silence with my squeaks, so I reached out and put my hand on hers. I still didn’t know why she had summoned me here, but maybe I didn’t need to know. It was a strange thought to pass through my mind. It didn’t make any sense, but somehow it made me happy.