7 - I'll Go To Another World For Once, Even If The Status Screen Bullies Me

How could this happen?

All I wanted to do was walk home with my crush.
Crack off a few one-liners about dating her mom.
Y’know—normal high school stuff.

Instead?

Elf-san?
Seen by Aiko.

Mao?
Space surrendered.

Me?
Splitting headache.

And now… a red-haired newcomer.
Of course.

Best to deal with that quickly.

“Look,” I said, raising my hand like the bouncer at Club Shuu,
“Whatever it is you want—I can’t right now. Or ever, honestly. So do us both a favor: about-face, and go home.”

She was taller than me.
Eyes like molten rubies.
She glanced between me, my demonic roommate, and the elf—currently unconscious in a puddle of tea—
and came to the most logical conclusion a would-be isekai heroine could.

“I see! This foul beast has taken control of the Her—”

I gently—expertly—wedged a lemon slice into her mouth.

Citrus silence.
Now I’m weaponizing my tea garnish.
Those lemons were 800 yen.

See what other worlds do to me?

Then I spun her toward the still-crackling dimensional portal she came through and gave her a light shove.

“Like I said! Mao is a great guy. I’m not a hero. I have zero interest in whatever you're about to ask me about.”

Another nudge.

“Pretty sure your destined hero’s right through here. Overpowered abilities. Edgy. Zero actual personality. You’ll love it!”

She began to protest, of course.

“Wait! Listen to what I have to say! I come bearing a message of great importance! I’m—”

I sighed.

Interdimensional portals that can cross entire universes,
right into my apartment,
but you need me to help you?

Get a therapist.

“Please! If you’ll just come with me and hear me out, I’ll never bother you again!”

She bowed her head like the would-be saint she was, stopping just shy of the threshold.

It would be a nightmare to deal with any more today,
but I wanted her gone as soon as possible.

With a look of resignation, I caved.

“Fine. Ten minutes. I’ll come with you for ten minutes. If I can’t help you, I’m leaving.”

She didn’t move.
Didn’t lift her head.
Still bowed, face pointed toward the floor.

“And I’m not marrying anyone.”

She flinched—head cocking back, aghast.

“W-what? How did you know I was going to ask—”

She caught herself. Sighed. Relented.

“…As you say.”

Feel that?
That disappointment?
Yeah. I know. Stings, right?

I’ve got an eye for marriage proposals and jiggle physics.
I can spot a tragic love triangle from 300 yards and fan-service from orbit.
Nothing surprises me anymore.

I turned toward the comically placed hole into another universe and began to walk, motioning to Mao as I passed.

𐍆𐌰𐌲𐌰𐌼𐌰𐌹𐍃𐌷 𐌱𐌴𐌹𐍂𐌿𐌲𐌰𐌻 𐌼𐌴𐌿𐍄𐌴𐍄𐌹𐌱
“Leave it to me, Shuu-dono.”

You deserve the good controller, big guy.

The swirling energy of a hole in time, space, and genre.
The faint smell of soy sauce—still unexplained to this day.
And the looming dread of sitting through yet another half hour of flashbacks and exposition.

This is my life now.

I could’ve just used [Return] the second we landed and left her there.

But even I have my pride as a man.

To promise I’d hear her out just to ghost her?
That’d make me worse than the tropes I’m avoiding.

So just this once… I’ll at least listen.

I was soon free of the swirling tunnel of dimensional travel and the lights that shone in all possible colors,
finding myself under the clear blue sky of a fantasy world.

The sun shone brilliantly.
Birds flew overhead.
Lush, purple-leaved trees stood tall like sentinels of the plot.
I could just feel the backstory.

┌────────────────────────────┐
│ Welcome, hero. │
└────────────────────────────┘

…And the status screen is back again.

[Please consider joining our Silver-tier Hero Package. Text 545 to apply.]

…And it’s still kind of sentient?

“Hero—”
“Shuu’s fine.”
“Shuu…sama—”
“Just Shuu, please.”
“Shuu. The castle is a short walk from here. Will that be fine?”

I crossed my arms and nodded.
“Lead the way… Red-san.”

She frowned—that perfect frown they all did. Poster-worthy.
“I’m Aeryis. Aeryis Fountainsong.”

Where do they even… come up with this stuff?

If even one of them was going to use my name for once,
I guess I could at least return the favor.

“Right. Aeryis. Lead the way, Aeryis… san.”

Hey, I’m still a guy.
It’s weird to call a girl I don’t know by her first name.

[Party member added. Aeryis joins the party!]

A catchy tune reverberated through my skeleton,
its joyful melody filling my bones with dread.

[Current Party: Shuu Jinko (Amateur Author) – LV 1]
[Aeryis Fountainsong (Princess of Fate) – LV 30]

…Why is she so strong?!
And why am I still an amateur?!

[Hero. I understand your question perfectly.]

┌────────────────────────────┐
│ STATUS – SHUU JINKO │
└────────────────────────────┘

Level: 1
Name: Shuu
Title: ??? (Unrecognized)
Class: Amateur Author

HP: 13
MP: 9

Skills:
• [Return] – Mastered
• [Writing] – Amateur

Passive Effects:
• Insomnia (Unremovable)
• Mild Back Pain (Stacks Over Time)

Blessings: None
Mentor: None
Weapon: None

“No sword. No blessing. No tutorial NPC.
Not even a cookie.”

It did not understand perfectly.

[SYSTEM TIP: You may be of the “support” archetype.]
[WARNING: The “support” archetype does not exist.]
[SYSTEM TIP: Consider selecting a valid role with our Gold-Tier Hero Package.]

I’m being harassed by a corporate status window.

After a short walk through a sea of purple foliage, we came to an empty clearing—
a pristine grotto in the middle of the fantasy forest.

Gee, I wonder what this specifically-shaped patch of emptiness could be.

“Fear not, He—Shuu. This is actually my family’s secret castle.”

Waddaya know.

“On the name of Fountainsong—reveal yourself!”

Two ivory doors sprawled to life in an outline behind the veil,
large brass handles were pushed inward by Aeryis, revealing a corridor of light.

“Come. All will be explained inside.”

I walked through a portal…
to take a walk…
so I could go into another portal.

Kinda sick, really. Like I’m Leonardo from IN:ception.

[...Consider our Platinum-Tier Ultimate Hero Package, now with a free premium skill: (Lucid Dreaming).]

Why does the system hate me?