People Worth Protecting

Monday morning brought a revelation that changed everything and nothing at all.

I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and dreading another day of magical artifact protection, when it hit me like a falling anvil.

I couldn't destroy the doll without risking Leo's life.

I couldn't stop his feelings without being the worst person alive.

I couldn't tell him the truth without sounding completely insane.

Which left exactly one option: accept that I was now the eternal guardian of the world's most ridiculous magical object.

Forever.

The thought should have terrified me. A week ago, it would have sent me into a complete panic spiral. But lying there in the early morning light, watching dust motes drift through the sunbeam from my window, I realized something weird.

I was strangely okay with this.

Not happy about it. Not thrilled to spend the rest of my life protecting a cotton doll. But okay.

Because the alternative meant Leo getting hurt, and that was apparently not an option my heart would consider.

When did that happen?

When did protecting him become more important than my own convenience?

I knew exactly when. It happened the moment I saw him bent over in pain during the cafeteria incident, clutching his ribs while I fought to keep the doll safe. The moment I realized that his well-being and the doll's safety were the same thing.

Great. I'm in love with the boy whose life depends on a magical artifact I have to protect forever.

This is either the most romantic thing ever or the most pathetic.

Probably both.

*****

The confession happened during lunch, completely by accident.

I was sitting at my usual table, having successfully navigated the morning without any doll-related incidents, when Leo approached with that determined look he got when he'd made an important decision.

"Rika? Can I talk to you for a minute? Privately?"

My stomach dropped into my shoes. "About what?"

"Just... something I've been wanting to say."

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

We walked to the quiet end of the hallway, near the broken vending machine that had been eating coins since freshman year. Leo stopped and turned to face me, and I could see he was nervous.

"So," he said, running his hand through his hair. "This is probably going to sound weird, but I need to tell you something."

My grip on my backpack tightened. Inside, the doll sat in its protective cocoon, completely unaware that its magical potency was about to increase exponentially.

"I like you, Rika. Like, a lot. More than just friends. And I was wondering... would you maybe want to go out sometime? Like, on an actual date?"

The words hung in the air between us while my brain short-circuited completely.

He liked me. Actually liked me. Enough to risk rejection by asking me out properly.

Which meant the doll was about to become more magically active than ever.

Which meant I was about to spend the rest of my life protecting an increasingly powerful cotton artifact while pretending I didn't know why.

This is my nightmare.

This is also my dream come true.

I hate how complicated emotions are.

"I..." I started, then stopped, because what was I supposed to say? Yes, but only if you're okay with me acting like a paranoid bodyguard for mysterious reasons I can never explain?

Leo's expression shifted slightly, interpreting my hesitation as rejection. "It's okay if you don't want to. I just thought... maybe you felt the same way, but if you don't—"

"I do."

The words escaped before I could stop them.

"I do feel the same way. I like you too. A lot. More than I should. More than is probably smart."

"Really?"

"Really. But..." I clutched my backpack tighter. "There are some things about me that are... complicated. Things I can't really explain."

"Like the way you've been super protective of your backpack lately?"

He noticed. Of course, he noticed.

"Yeah. Like that."

Leo stepped closer, and I was suddenly very aware that he was looking at me like I was something precious and fragile.

"Rika, I don't care if you have complicated things. Everyone has complicated things. I just want to be part of your life, if you'll let me."

If only you knew what you were signing up for.

"Even if I'm weird about certain stuff? Even if I can't always explain why?"

"Especially then." His smile stayed soft and genuine. "You're allowed to have boundaries. You're allowed to have private things. I'm not going to push."

The irony was thick. Here he stood, being completely understanding about my need for privacy, and the thing I was hiding was literally his own safety.

"So," he said, and now he was nervous again. "Is that a yes? To the date thing?"

I looked at his hopeful face. I thought about the doll in my bag, the weeks of protection ahead of me, and the absurd situation I'd gotten us both into.

This is the stupidest thing in the world.

And somehow... I'm okay with that.

"Fine," I said, trying to sound casual instead of like my heart was doing victory laps. "I guess. If you want to. Whatever."

Leo's grin could light up the whole building. "Really?"

"Don't make me say it again."

"Okay. Okay, good. Great. This is..." He laughed, and it was the happiest sound I'd ever heard. "This is great."

And then he did something that nearly gave me heart palpitations.

He casually fixed my bag strap where it was twisted.

"Better?"

For a moment, his hand rested directly over the spot where the doll was hidden, and I had a minor panic attack imagining all the ways this could go catastrophically wrong.

But nothing happened. The doll stayed safe in its layers of protection, and Leo just smiled at me like he'd done something completely normal instead of casually handling the object that controlled his entire existence.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Always," he said, and it sounded like a promise.

*****

Our first official date happened at the café downtown, and it turned out surprisingly normal.

Well. Normal if you ignored the reinforced carrying case I bought for the doll. And the backup protection strategies I'd developed. And the way I unconsciously checked my bag every five minutes to make sure the most important object in both our lives stayed secure. I wished I could just leave it at home, but what if my cat got to it or there was a house fire?

"You okay?" Leo asked, noticing my latest bag check. "You seem a little tense."

"Just making sure I have everything." Including the cotton artifact that determines whether you live or die.

"What's in there anyway? You're always so careful with it."

For a moment, I considered telling him. Imagine his face if I pulled out a lumpy doll and explained that his life depended on keeping it safe. Imagine trying to convince him that magic was real, and I accidentally cursed him with a voodoo spell gone wrong.

Yeah, that conversation would go well.

"Just... important stuff. School supplies. Personal things."

He nodded, accepting my non-answer with the same easy grace he'd shown all week. "Must be really important stuff."

You have no idea.

"It is."

We talked about normal things after that. Classes, teachers, and the upcoming school festival. Leo told me about his part-time job at the bookstore, and I pretended my heart didn't do weird fluttery things when he mentioned wanting to recommend books to me.

It was nice. It was normal. It was everything a first date should be.

Except for the magical artifact in my bag that made this entire relationship possible and terrifying at the same time.

"This is nice," Leo said as we were walking to the bus stop afterward. "Being here with you. Talking like this."

"Yeah," I agreed, and I was surprised by how much I meant it. "It is nice."

"So maybe we could do it again sometime?"

Every date will increase his feelings, which will increase the doll's power, which will make it more dangerous to carry around.

Every romantic milestone is going to be a logistical nightmare.

And I'm absolutely going to say yes anyway.

"I guess. If you want to. Whatever."

His laugh became my favorite sound. "I love how you always say 'whatever' when you're trying not to seem excited about something."

He's figured out my patterns. Great.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." He grinned. "It's cute."

My face heated up. "Shut up."

"There it is again."

I hate that he's right. I hate that I like him figuring me out. I hate that this is going to make everything more complicated.

We reached the bus stop, and Leo did something catastrophic to my ability to think straight.

He took my hand.

Just briefly. Just long enough to squeeze my fingers and smile at me like I was something wonderful.

"I'm really glad you said yes," he said. "To all of this."

Me too. Even if you'll never know how complicated this is going to get.

"Yeah," I managed. "Me too."

The bus arrived, and I climbed on with my precious cargo and my racing heart. Through the window, I watched Leo walk away, completely oblivious to the fact that a little doll in my backpack had just become the most important thing in both our lives.

Again.

*****

That night, I sat at my desk with the doll in front of me, having a serious conversation with it like a completely rational person.

"So this is happening," I told it. "We're doing this. The three of us, apparently."

The doll stared at me with its mismatched button eyes, offering no commentary on the situation.

"He's going to want to hold hands more. Kiss me eventually. Do all the normal relationship things that normal couples do. And every single one of those moments is going to make you more magically connected to him."

Still nothing from the cotton gallery.

"Which means every single one of those moments is going to make you more dangerous for me to carry around. Every date, every milestone, every time he tells me he loves me... if he ever gets that far."

I paused, considering the implications.

"You realize what this means, right? I'm going to spend the rest of my relationship with Leo Matsuda protecting a magical doll that exists because of my relationship with Leo Matsuda. It's the most ridiculous feedback loop in the history of teenage romance."

The doll continued its silent judgment.

"And the really stupid part? I'm okay with it. I'm genuinely okay with spending my life protecting you, because protecting you means protecting him, and apparently that's what I want to do now."

I leaned back in my chair and stared at my ceiling.

"This is my life. I'm in love with a boy whose safety depends on a cotton doll I have to protect forever. It's the stupidest thing in the world."

And somehow... I wouldn't change it.

Just don't tell him I said that.

I carefully wrapped the doll in its protective layers and tucked it into the reinforced case. Tomorrow, there would be more challenges. More near-misses. More elaborate excuses and creative protection strategies.

But maybe it was worth it.

Leo liked me. I liked him back. We were going to figure out how to make this work, even if he never knew the full truth about why I was so weird about my backpack.

I wondered if Leo was lying there thinking about our date. About holding my hand and the way I blushed when he called me cute.

If only he knew that somewhere in the darkness, a girl sat with a magical doll, planning the rest of her life around keeping him safe.

Some secrets are worth keeping.

Some burdens are worth carrying.

And some boys are worth protecting forever, even if they never know why.