The Feeling That Day

My name is Akiyama Jun, a third-year high school student. Since we were little, I’ve grown up alongside my childhood friend, Ebisawa Yumi. Her family lives right next door to mine. We’re also in the same class at school, and every day, we walk to and from school together. You could say we’re as close as siblings.

One day, on our way home, she suddenly turned to me and said,
“Jun, can you help me with something?”

“What is it, Yumi? Just so you know, I’m not letting you copy my homework again. You need to do it yourself. Don’t forget—we’re preparing for entrance exams this year.”

“Come on! I promise I’ll study after this!” she said, pouting. “But that’s not what I want right now.”

She looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Can you help me get closer to Kaito? You’re friends with him, right? Please, help your dear childhood friend out?”

She tilted her head and gave me that look—the one she always used when she wanted something. Trying to win my sympathy, as usual

“Do you like him?” I asked her.

“Yes! He’s like a hero to me!” she said, eyes sparkling. “I still can’t forget when he helped me during the school festival preparations last year. And he always smiles at me! Don’t you think he might like me too, Jun?”

“He does that with everyone,” I replied flatly. “What do I get out of helping you?”

I wasn’t about to do this for free.

“I’ll give you half of my monthly pocket money. Is that enough?”

Her offer caught me off guard.

“I’m fine with that... but are you sure?”

“Yes! I’ll sacrifice anything if it means protecting my youth! I won’t let my high school life go to waste!” she declared it confidently.

“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” I asked, curious.

“There are too many girls who like him. I don’t even feel like I have a chance to get close. That’s why I need your help. I’ll leave the rest to you. See you tomorrow!”

She smiled and walked into her house.

The next day, I went up to Kaito.

“Do you have time this evening?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I feel like letting off some stress at the arcade. Entrance exams are really starting to get to me.”

“Let’s go! It’s been a while since I’ve been there.”

Hook, line, and sinker. Kaito and Yumi are both great at arcade games—this might be the perfect chance for them to find common ground. During recess, I shared the plan with Yumi.

“Nice! Now I can spend time with him later! What about you? Are you joining us?” she asked.

“I’ll pretend I suddenly have a stomachache and ask you to go in my place,” I said, giving her a thumbs-up.

And that’s how it all started.

I never expected everything to backfire.

Before I knew it, Yumi and Kaito were spending almost all their time together. They walked home together after school. I started walking home alone. It felt… empty. I guess she had her own life now, and it was her time to enjoy it.

Things got worse when someone approached me during lunch.

“Do you have feelings for Yumi?” asked Mia, Yumi’s best friend.

“What kind of feelings?”

“Love. I mean… you two grew up together. Don’t you feel anything special?”

“I’ve always seen her as a sister. Nothing more.”

But… why was she asking me this?

“There’s a rumor going around that Yumi and Kaito are dating,” she said. “She told me she wanted to get closer to him, but I couldn’t help her. You did. Thank you, Jun.”

She bowed to me—a full 90 degrees.

“Stop it. I don’t deserve thanks.”

Just then, Yumi walked over.

“Mia!”

Was I seeing things?

Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she looked brighter, more confident. She smiled in a way I’d never seen before—especially not around me. And when Kaito waved at her, she lit up like sunshine. It hurt.

Do you have feelings for Yumi?
No… no, this isn’t jealousy. Right?

But the image of her and Kaito together wouldn’t leave my mind. During class, I found myself watching her. I couldn’t concentrate.

Then one day, she said it.

“Jun! I’m going to confess to him this Friday! I think I can do it.”

Kaito was busy that day, so Yumi was walking home with me.

“R-really? Good luck,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Why do you look so down? Don’t worry! Even if I get a boyfriend, I’ll still hang out with you!”

I forced a smile. But deep down, I knew the truth.

I was in love with her.

Too late.

That weekend, she told me she would be studying at Kaito’s house. His parents were overseas for work, and he didn’t want to be alone. She looked so happy just talking about it.

Maybe I should sabotage their love.

But I told myself to bury those feelings.

The day of the confession came.

She promised to tell me the result right away.

That evening, she asked me to meet her at the riverside behind the school.

I had a bad feeling.

When I arrived, she was sitting with her back to me, holding back tears.

I silently handed her a tissue.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

Her voice was weak—completely different from her usual cheerful tone.

“Am I ugly? Is it my personality? Am I just stupid? Tell me, Jun!” she sobbed, wiping her eyes.

I could barely understand her through the tears.

“We can plan things… but we can’t control the outcome. Did he tell you why?”

“He said he likes someone else. A girl from another school. I thought I had a chance… but now, everything's gone. Just like that.”

There was a strange feeling inside me.

A part of me was… happy.

Was this my chance?

“Yumi, I know this might be the worst timing, but… there’s something I need to tell you.”

She looked up.

“I love you. I like you, Yumi. You probably didn’t expect that, but it’s how I really feel. I hope… I hope you can accept it.”

I finally said it.

It felt like everything had led to this moment.

But then—

“I can’t.”

Her answer cut deep.

“Why? I’m here. I care about you. I’ll support you. Isn’t that enough?”

“It’s not about what you’re willing to give me, Jun. I just… don’t feel the same. I still like Kaito.”

“Even after he rejected you?”

“I’m not giving up. I’ll find another way to win his heart. I appreciate your feelings, but I can’t return them.”

It felt like the world collapsed around me.

Then I said something I shouldn’t have.

“I’m better than him. He doesn’t even appreciate your feelings. You should see who really deserves your love.”

She stared at me, shocked.

“Where do you get the confidence to say that? Kaito is way better than you. Do you seriously think you can compete with him?”

That hurt.

“I’ve known you longer. I’ve been with you through everything. Isn’t that worth something?”

“That’s just a coincidence. We live next door, that’s all. To me, you’re just a childhood friend. Nothing more.”

It was like she stabbed me right in the chest.

“I never asked you to like me, Jun. I never led you on.”

“It just happened! I didn’t want this either! Maybe… maybe I wish I never met you.”

I regretted the words as soon as I said them.

“Is that really how you feel?” she said, tears building up again. “I am asking you to come here to make me feel better… and now I feel worse.”

“You’re selfish.”

“Yes! That’s who I really am! I’m tired of this.”

“Me too! Let’s just not talk to each other ever again.”

“Fine. Goodbye.”

That was the last word she ever said to me.

Since then, we’ve become strangers.

Even if we meet again, we don’t speak. Days turned into months. Months into years.

Maybe if I had just held back my feelings that day, things would have been different.

Maybe I wouldn’t have lost her.