Extra: The Trials and Tribulations of Kaito Aizome (Completed)Ah, Kaito—a spirited soul perhaps caught in the throes of a minor mishap, ignited by a moment of chaos thanks to the silver-haired healer girl. Why, you ask? Picture this: the moment I awoke, still tangled in the remnants of an unfathomable dream and blundering enthusiastically into reality, my hand accidentally found a misplaced spot. A little misunderstanding, one might say, but one that seemed to ignite a spark of unintended chaos. Or maybe it was simply that I performed an extraordinary feat of clumsiness by truly and utterly stubbing my toe on a rock that was as tantalizingly visible as a beacon in the night. The pain I felt—the sting radiating from my foot—was enough to awaken memories I’d rather not revisit...
“AGH! Son of a—! Why does everything hurt?!” I let out a dramatic hiss while clutching my inflamed foot, moaning in dramatic exasperation over my little mishap (or whatever other unfortunate body part was feeling the strain). It seemed the universe in this new realm was unwavering in its pursuit to gauge my pain threshold, as if I were a marionette dangling from strings of despair! Wasn’t the sheer trauma of being squished by a truck, or rather, experiencing the panic of such a near-miss, sufficient? What more did it want from me? Life had transformed from the mundane to a relentless series of unfortunate events, each one more bewildering than the last. I couldn't help but hop awkwardly, balancing on one foot while the other throbbed in protest, overwhelmed by this cacophony of unfairness. Memories of my previous life flooded my thoughts—what an absolute joke it had all been.
(Cue Wavy Flashback Effect / Mental Montage)
Oh, how just thinking about that earlier existence was enough to make me want to bury myself back into that ditch from which I had so unceremoniously emerged. I suppose I should introduce myself properly: My name is Kaito Aizome—yes, that Kaito; the one and only. The guy whose greatest life achievement back on Earth was, without a doubt, the art of hitting the snooze button on my ¥500 alarm clock, day after interminable day. Picture this: I'd wake up as though bearing the weight of the world, shuffle down the hallway, and motor through breakfast—a laborious ordeal of my mom's 'nutritional' concoction. She would drill me about my P.E. kit, her voice slicing through the morning fog like a knife. Really, what was the big deal? Who cared about gym shorts and socks? My only consolation was that I could muster enough energy to drag myself beneath the humdrum fluorescent lights of Saint Ignatiusu High, only to brace myself for yet another seemingly soul-crushing day filled with absolute monotony. Excitement? Ha! My life had less spark than a damp firecracker forgotten in a downpour.
And then, just like that, she entered my life like a shimmering comet streaking through my lackluster existence. Elis, with her pale skin that seemed to glisten, sharp eyes that held a universe of secrets, and hair dark as the night itself, floated gracefully through the crosswalk one chilly morning. Naturally, I, in all my suave social prowess, decided that my opening line would be an impeccable Japanese phrase that I had somehow magically conjured.
“Issho ni ikimashou ka?” I ventured. Her expression? It was akin to witnessing a cockroach that had inexplicably learned how to articulate human thought. Talk about being utterly humiliated! The dramatic moment escalated when a crow decided to bless her with a delicate cherry blossom while a cheeky pigeon sought to mark my shoulder as its own little canvas for modern art. It felt like a cosmic conspiracy, where even the birds had decided to mock my existence. Honestly, at this moment, I could almost sense the disappointed spirits of my ancestors—my samurai grandpa, meticulously sharpening his phantom sword, prepared for an honorable exit from this world; my soldier grandpa furiously bellowing about discipline; and dear old Stephen Hawking grandpa, shaking his head in resignation through his voice synthesizer. Truly, it felt like peak existence.
And let me tell you, my first day at school? Oh, it could have been a highlight reel of embarrassment. My valiant attempt to introduce myself to Class 1-C? Well, forget bowing, smiling, or even attempting a witty remark. Instead, I was laid out flat on the ground, my grand entrance resembling that of a bit part in a poorly written script.
“KAITO AIZOME!” I bellowed from my embarrassing position on the floor, instantly cueing Elis to snap her pen in half—her silent wishes veering toward violence. The class erupted in laughter, a sound that would surely haunt my dreams for centuries, while the teacher developed a surreal gaze, akin to someone who had just witnessed a mild apocalypse. And my assigned seat? Right next to none other than the ice queen herself, a joyous twist of fate, I suppose.
Ah, then came lunch, and wouldn't you know it—the universe had decided to add a delightful third wheel to our duo! Enter Elaine, a whirlwind of energy and chaos. The look on Elis’s face as Elaine embraced her was priceless; it was as if she had just been tossed into frigid waters without any warning. And there I was, awkwardly sandwiched between a tempestuous tsundere ice queen and a storm of exuberance—my life now felt like the compilation of all the worst anime tropes imaginable.
Math class? Let’s just say it was an indecipherable mess. When the teacher daringly called on Elis, she dazzled him with her brilliance. However, when his beady eyes fell upon me, that’s when internal chaos erupted. My brain? It had completely shut down, leaving me drenched in sweat as though I had just swum the length of the Nile. Suddenly, a tiny whisper emerged from the Ice Queen herself, swooping in to my rescue:
“Integrate both sides using…” I couldn’t believe it! I repeated her words like a desperate parrot—my teacher's expression morphing into one of pure disbelief.
“Correct…?” Surely this had to be a fluke, but even I was astounded. After class, I attempted to thank Elis for her aid, but before I knew it, she had vanished into thin air—like a rich kid escaping in a luxurious limo, leaving me dumbfounded.
And then… well, the day’s grand finale awaited me at home. Drenched in self-pity from my spectacularly unsuccessful day, I stumbled upon a scene: a child chasing a dog straight into the road. The sight of the truck barreling down toward them ignited something primal within me—activating a so-called ‘hero complex.’ Yet in that moment, it felt more like a jolt of sheer recklessness wedged into my chest. I lunged forward, pushing both the child and the dog to safety... and then collapsed—my own heart deciding that this was the end for me, pure ‘thump-thump-thud’... silence. I didn’t even have the dignity of being struck! Nope. I succumbed to terror, laying flat on the sidewalk, my demise punctuated by the truck merely grazing the stop sign.
And just like that, my next memory was of floating in what could best be described as your average heavenly palace, basking in an ethereal glow. Then, as if summoned from the depths of a celestial script, an anime-inspired deity appeared before me, declaring,
“Kaito Aizome, you died. But don’t fret— the truck missed you.” Absolutely terrified, I felt a chill run down my spine—a sensation that seemed to echo the very thump of my racing heart. It was a moment that could only be described as 'no way out,' and yet, he just laughed, a deep, booming chuckle that resonated through the air like rolling thunder.
“You really thought that would scare me?” It's a good thing my family will finally breathe easy, I muttered under my breath, the bitterness creeping into my voice. The weight of his existence—it felt like a burden that had finally been lifted from my shoulders. But there he was, laughing harder than ever before. Hah! The sheer ridiculousness of it all made me smirk.
"Meh, that attitude is truly entertaining," he remarked, his laughter infectious. It was clear—this was a second chance! A whole new world awaited, ripe with endless adventures! My thoughts zigzagged through possibilities, filled with piquant excitement: Could this mean what I think it does? OHH! The idea struck me like a bolt of lightning—
HAREM?! The sound of his bellowing laughter echoed around us, filling the air with a kind of jubilant energy. “Hohoho!” he roared, as if he were relishing this moment.
“Kid, that's up to fate... and your game. But honestly? Starting a harem? With your track record? Good luck!”
And then, without missing a beat, he gave me a playful push toward the unknown.
“Off you go!” he urged. Just as I opened my mouth to ask a brilliant follow-up question, the words stuck in my throat.
EHHHH?! And then it happened! Just like that, I found myself without the sort of cheat skills that would have usually bolstered a hero's start or the incredible weaponry that would ensure survival. The only thing I received was a mockingly cheerful
“Good luck!” and a one-way ticket to Terminal Velocity! There I was, spawned mid-air like some poorly coded NPC—totally unprepared for what lay ahead.
Barely five seconds into my miraculous second life—and then
BAM! I collided with a series of tree branches before meeting the unforgiving embrace of solid ground. The sickening snap of my leg echoed in my ears, as if my body was protesting my very presence in this new realm. Enter the scene-stealer: Silver-Hair, a figure adorned with kindness, depicted in perfect contrast to my catastrophic landing. She offered healing hands, a comforting lap pillow, and my signature move, which I'll call the Accidental Forehead Smash of Gratitude. Seriously, is there even a single universe out there—the multiverse, in fact—where I don't appear as a complete clown?
[Kaito let out a grand sigh, his dramatic flair palpable, as he glanced at the silver-haired healer, who wore a face that oscillated between concern and mild annoyance.] And that, dear healer, who might just be a tad psychotic but undeniably pretty, is the tragicomic tale of how I, Kaito Aizome, the Master of Failure, ended up unceremoniously falling out of the sky and straight into your lap. Yes, behold my glorious origin story. Just try not to laugh too hard... or take another swing at me. The ground has already dealt quite the blow!
In all honesty, if you made it through this entire recounting to the end, thank you! This little recap encapsulates the first four chapters, diving into the cascade of events that transpired and elucidating more about what happened afterwards. It’s been a wild ride, hasn’t it?
Publish By: Rvie/Sylvie
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