Chapter 15: Ghostly Past

Chapter 15: Ghostly Past

— My name is Tess, and you?

"My name is Tess, and you?" "My name is Tess, and you?" "My name is Tess, and you?"

Daniel awoke in a cold sweat...

— This dream again...

Daniel had seen this dream more than once. To be precise, he saw it every night...
Lately, it had become hard for him to fall asleep—perhaps even a little frightening.

He could only drift off when his body was utterly exhausted and shut down on its own, without his command. Yet this never spared him from reliving this memory again.

He had tried everything... Attempted to forget, to pretend it never happened, as if it hadn't been him—as if someone else had slipped these fragments of memory into his mind.

At times, he thought of ending his life to finally free himself from this burden that had haunted him for years. But that made no sense, for the outcome would be the same... He had tested it.

Be that as it may—nothing helped. Daniel wished he could believe it was some magical trick of his brain and memory, intent on tormenting him.
For he had long forgotten the faces of his parents, his sister, his brother, his fellow musicians in the troupe.
He had forgotten them long ago and irreversibly, yet that evening with Tess he could not forget.
Sometimes, it seemed that the memory of Tess and that night was all he remembered—or ever would.
But the truth was simpler. In reality, he simply didn't want to forget.
Despite all his self-convincing, Daniel wasn't ready to let go of that night or Tess.

And truthfully... it was already too late. Perhaps earlier, he could have undone it all, but not now. Not when so much was at stake.
Though... what were those stakes worth compared to his sacrifices, his sanity, if victory could save her...

Today, she would return again... As always, every week on this day...
Daniel had lost count of how many meetings this was—perhaps the hundredth, or maybe the thousandth.
He had spent more than one human lifetime on this game, thereby becoming its captive.

Not immediately, but he began to notice changes in himself... His memory was the first to suffer.
With each new round, each new life, he lost something from his past.
He forgot batches of people dear to him, and with that, the spark in his heart grew smaller and smaller.

Now, it took just a gentle breath of wind to extinguish it. Yet no matter what storms assailed his soul, he couldn't fade. And frankly, Daniel didn't want to.

Then he began to lose his senses. Food no longer delighted him with its taste.
He no longer felt warmth, nor pain, hunger, or thirst... Step by step, all the unnecessary—withered by his brain, or something more transcendent—sensations died away, leaving Daniel forever. They were needed by the living; Daniel, however, could hardly be called alive.

Not alive, not dead—just a lump of bones and skin, continuing its "life" path for one reason alone.

In the end, nothing remained but memories of Tess and her... her, who came to him again and again for the game.
— Why does she do this...? She could have ended it all long ago!

Now, he craved only the end of it all... He was too tired...
At the beginning, he believed it would work... Fire burned in his eyes, his heart beat swiftly...
He had something to fight for; he was ready to sacrifice everything to save her, as he believed—to preserve the beauty and colors of this world in her likeness...
But over time, that zeal faded...

— The matter was started... So... It must be brought to an end...

And when that end would come was unknown... Daniel had to bring it about himself.

Today, as always, it was raining in London... Daniel pulled out a cigarette and lit it... Strangely, he could still taste the tobacco.
Most likely, because it resembled the general feelings in his body—bitter, sticky, gray nothingness...

Cold raindrops enveloped his body completely. He was thoroughly soaked, but of course, he felt no cold...

— Under different circumstances, this might even be nice... I wonder... Where is she now?

— My name is Tess, and you?

It took Daniel a moment to find his voice... He was still captive to that moment.

— Are you mute?
— No... no... Sorry.
— Did the moon enchant you so?

Of course, Tess understood what was happening with Daniel, but it felt odd to address it directly. And besides, she decided it wasn't worth mentioning at all.
Some things needed no words... As if trying to describe them, you locked them in a more primitive form than their nature—stealing all the magic from that moment.

— My name is Daniel...
— Nice to meet you, Daniel...
— Me too... Yes... Very nice to meet you. Why are you here?
— What do you mean?
— Well, here. On the pier. Were you playing just now?
— That's a tough question. And what are you doing here so late?
— Also a tough question...
— I see...
— The way you played... You know, it was...
— I know my music isn't perfect. I've been learning for quite a while, but it doesn't come out that well. Especially when someone's watching.
— No!!! Are you kidding? It was incredible! Unparalleled. I've never felt anything like it in my life.
— Really?
— Of course! It was... It was as if my soul left my body and soared to the highest heights. Somewhere far, far beyond the sky. Where even birds don't fly and merged with the entire world.
— So high... Is there anything up there?
— They say God lives there, but I don't believe it. If God were really that close, as they claim, He wouldn't allow so much evil in this world.
— You think so?
— If He were truly that close, life on this earth would surely be more just and happy.
— You know... I probably think so too.

Daniel was so enchanted by Tess that he barely paid attention to what he was saying. At that moment, every part of his body seemed to exist separately... But that wasn't surprising, for his mind was so focused on reprocessing everything that had happened that it had neither the strength nor the time to monitor his words.

But Tess liked it... Daniel was likely the only person in this world who spoke his mind to her. Who was honest with her...
She would have preferred to stay here with him, but she needed to return...
Time was running out; if she lingered, a scandal would await her at home...

— Sorry... But I have to go.
— ... Really... That's a shame.
— Haha, how sweet.
— What!?
— We don't even know each other, and you're so reluctant to say goodbye.
— Did I say that out loud...? Sorry... That was pathetic.
— No! It was sweet. I liked it.

Daniel blushed. Of course... He didn't get compliments from girls every day. Especially not from someone as enchanting as Tess.

— Shall we play together again sometime?
— Gladly, Daniel... I'll be here next week at this same time...
— I'll definitely come!
— I'll be waiting for you... Take care.
— See you! Tess!

Her name sounded pleasing in his voice. For the first time, she felt truly valued by someone.
But... "We've only known each other for a few minutes! No need to imagine too much..." — this thought, like a cold rain, brought her back to reality.
She needed to hurry... She didn't want anyone to ruin this day.

Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted this memory.
Daniel rose reluctantly from his work chair and made his way to the hallway.

On the threshold stood a delicate woman of about 35, with long, curly black hair. From certain angles, it seemed almost painted, entirely unreal.
Though... that was indeed the case.

— New hairstyle?

She slowly folded her purple umbrella and cast a mysterious glance over Daniel.
After looking at him for a few seconds, her face relaxed into a cryptic half-smile.

— Don't like it?
— Indifferent...
— You're always like this... Couldn't you give a compliment? I put in effort every time.
— For yourself?
— Well, you're partially right. People have invented so many hairstyles, so much interesting clothing... I want to try it all.
— You're not bad at it.
— Oh! Seems you've complimented me for the first time! We should celebrate! Do you have that stuff I tried once at your place? The one with bubbles???
— Sparkling wine?
— Yes, yes! That! I want some!
— Sadly, all I have is water and very strong tea...
— Ugh... You're never prepared for my visits.
— Sorry... Should've ironed a jacket too... How could I forget.
— I like it when you get a little cheeky, but please don't overdo it. You're more cute than rude. And that's what I like about you.

Daniel said nothing. What could he say... These empty conversations only delayed the inevitable—the game in which he would lose again, and everything would start over.
Her jokes, the changing hairstyles, faces, clothes— they had long worn him out.
Yet no matter how much he told her about it, she wouldn't stop.
It seemed to annoy her slightly, yet it also fueled her for more taunts.
Though she didn't see it that way. Frankly... It hurt her to watch the most beautiful soul to her wither by his own will.
A pity she couldn't help him, except in one way...

— So? Shall we start the game?