What's Mine is Yours

It wasn’t supposed to have been this way.

It was never supposed to have gone this far.

She was beautiful. Stunning. Seductive.

As so many women were.

But none of them were quite like her.

Raz had been right.

Nothing good would come from this.

But he was too far in to ever find his way out.

Ben had been drawn to Celeste, and he knew the same went for her as well. But feelings mean nothing when you have a reputation to withhold, and those with royal blood withhold the highest. It certainly wasn’t uncommon for those of higher status to mingle with those of lower. To hide relationships and slip away where no eyes could bear witness to that of which God was not fond of, but could forgive. Some of it for fun, some of it turned to more, but the hierarchy always keeps its bonds within its own.

Pure.

Unsullied.

Holier than thou.

He hadn’t expected to see her again. There was hope, but he wasn’t naive to just how far out of the realm of attainability she was, and he wasn’t going to go searching for that which he couldn’t have.

But he didn’t have to.

Because she found him.

She was already waiting outside of the shop when he had finished for the day, the very same one they had met. She had smiled and asked where he lived, and he more than happily obliged by showing her through the door and to the bed.

It hadn’t been his first time.

Or hers.

But it might as well have been.

The way they looked at each other, touched, and explored. How their bodies melded together and pulled apart, the heat of their flesh searing into the other, leaving their mark. The sounds that spilled from their lips, whispering promises and devotion.

It was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

And when she had rolled away from him that first time, slipped on her dress, and gave him one last kiss, he didn’t want to let her go.

But he did.

Because he would never have her.

Even though she kept coming back, and he would take all that she offered. Each time sinking deeper and deeper into the vastness of her ocean eyes, voluntarily sinking with a smile. Giving themselves over to one another; their bodies, their minds, their spirits, their souls.

She was only meant to be like all the others. Good for a time or two or three. She was never meant to plague his mind with constant longing for her touch. Craving for her taste. Pleading for her looks.

But things don’t always go as planned.

Had one of them been of opposite standing, Ben wouldn’t have hesitated to mark the woman as his One, binding the two of them together for all of eternity. But they weren’t, and at some point, Celeste would give herself to another.

Whether or not she wanted to.

“You should stay.” Ben looked up at Celeste above him, her bare chest heaving as she caught her breath, his hands on her hips willing her to stay connected for as long as possible. He knew she wouldn’t, but he had to try. Just like he always did.

She smiled sweetly, her body leaning over his, taking his lips for only a moment. “I can’t. But I’ll be back later.” Then she was off and across the room, leaving his skin cold and lonely, as she covered her own.

The words were on his tongue, but he bit them back.

Let's run

But that would never be an option.

She had her place, and he had his.

They could never turn their backs on God.

So he took her farewell kiss and watched as the door closed behind her. His hands went to his face, pushing against his eyes, trying to silence the chaos in his mind.

He should have listened to the warnings.

But it was too late for that now.

He was drowning in the depths of her ocean and refusing to go up for air.

It was only a matter of time before he sank to the bottom.

Following after her.

Celeste slipped from the home; a small, humble abode among many further from The Kingdom’s center where the castle of The Guard resided. Those of higher standings were situated closer to the center while the subjects extended out further until reaching the expanse of the forest. She could feel the soft glow of love and pleasure still radiating from her skin while she made her way to the castle, and she smoothed out the sleeves of her Guard uniform.

Not a single wrinkle would do.

Ben had asked her to stay, and she wanted to, but that would only complicate things further and she still had her duty to The Guard that she couldn’t ignore. So, she would go to the castle and enter its grand doors...

And find the chaos within.

Raziel.

The name on everyone’s lips.

Celeste barely felt her feet hit the floor as she weaved through the hallways and past the distressed angels all around, gathering the tidbits of conversations and piecing them together as she went. The whirl of their voices wrapping around her, squeezing tightly, forcing the oxygen from her lungs.

Raziel

Two devils

Killed

His prayer

Why would he do this

How could he

She burst into the Grand Duke’s cabinet, the large, heavy doors slamming against the walls as all eyes turned on her. “Get out!” her voice booming, frantic, desperate, not her own. “Now!”

“All of you,” Raz commanded calmly from behind his neatly organized, mahogany desk. “Go.” And they would all obey, filing out of the room, the last one to leave closing the doors behind the woman.

“What have you done, Raz?” Celeste felt as if she was breaking, one small piece falling and shattering at a time. She hadn’t seen her brother in months, and now that he was in front of her, he was taking everything and leaving her nothing.

How cruel.

There was no simple way to go about the conversation, so he would be blunt. “I’ve relinquished my duties. Cassiel will take over for now. I’m going to leave the heavens and live on the land. Mother will arrange your ceremony. You’ll have to discuss the details with her, but who you choose is up to you. When you birth a son, I’ll pass my title onto him, and Cassiel will oversee him until he comes of age.”

How could he sit there and be so calm, so casual, while she was barely keeping it together? “You can’t just give up your title. Our family’s title. It was given to you by Him.”

“I already did, but good thing you’re here to carry it on since it’s so important to you.

“It should be important to you. You’re the Grand Duke. You are the most loyal and just man I know.”

“Not anymore.”

“How could you do this to Him?” The tears flowed without thought, hopeless and angry. “How could you do this to me?”

“I didn’t do this to you. You knew this day would come.” There was no sympathy from the man as he turned his attention to separating the remaining paperwork in front of him into neat stacks. “It makes no difference whether I’m here or not to see it.”

“You’re forcing me to bond with someone I don’t want!” she screamed, her cry echoing across the walls and high ceilings, reminding her of the fate she wanted to avoid.

Raz sighed, “And what was your plan, Celeste? Continue sneaking around with Ben, acting like you’re so clever and no one knows, until you birth his bastard? That might be fine for others, but not for you. You were going to have to choose your One sooner or later, and it was never going to be him. You should have thought about that instead of spending the last year fucking things up for the both of you. I didn’t make that choice, you did. Remember?”

He was right. Her life had been decided for her before she was even born. She was meant to be marked by a Duke, birth his sons and daughters, and further the line of the most holiest of God’s creations, the most dedicated of angels. She had been the one to tip toe around it, tease God with her childishness. But like a child, God had forgiven each of her transgressions.

Because God loved her.

But God had expectations of her.

Just like He had of Raz.

It wasn’t fair.

“And why is it okay for you to leave?” she growled through clenched teeth. “Why do you get to walk away from all of this? From your responsibilities.”

“Because I killed a devil, and God answered my prayer.”

But he hadn’t just killed a devil.

He had killed two.

Celeste slowly made her way to her brother, reaching for his face and bringing it to meet her pleading gaze. “Please, Raz…”

The man pulled away from her touch, continuing with his task. “No.” She didn’t need to ask. He didn’t want to hear it. He had been told to stay out of it, and he would. And even if he hadn’t, he needed his other prayer in order to ensure his own freedom in case he left any loose ends, and The Guard came for him.

She wasn’t that little girl anymore, and he couldn’t take the blame for her behavior any longer. Maybe if he hadn’t always when they were younger, taking all the punishment while she received all the praise, she would have learned that her actions have consequences that she alone has to live with. Instead, he taught her that no matter what she did, that someone would be there to make things better, to protect her when she came calling.

Raz couldn’t do it anymore.

Celeste would have to do it on her own.

“But you have two,” she tried to argue. “I just need one.”

“If you need one.” His ocean eyes, the same as hers, cold and merciless. “Then you can kill a devil yourself.”

She stepped back as though the suggestion had pushed her. “That’s not fair! You can’t just do that! You can’t...”

“Enough!” Raz roared, his body springing up while his hands slammed into the desk, scattering the papers to the floor. “You will not tell me what I can and cannot do. I’ve spent my life taking your lashings and cleaning up your messes, and I won’t do it anymore. I warned you that this would happen, but you knew better. You always know better when really all you know is how to fuck things up and then take others’ charity to save yourself. You’re not going to come to me now with an open hand begging when you rejected my attempts to protect you earlier. You’ve made your choices, and I’m not saving you from your consequences this time. You will cut ties with Ben, and then you will marry a duke and bring forth the next generation of God’s loyal servants as you were meant to. Do you understand, Celeste?”

Celeste wanted to scream, to fight, to cry until she finally got what she wanted. But all she could do was sink to her knees, the weight of the ruination of her life pushing her to the polished marble floor. Every choice she had ever made, and everyone she would have to make screeching through her brain, tearing at her soul.

There was no one to save her now.

She only had herself.

She concentrated on the clasping of her hands against the coolness of the ground. Something physical to grasp onto, to ignore the emotional. The gleam of steel entered her vision and it took her a moment to process what it was.

Raz’s sword.

Celeste looked up at her brother who crouched before her, an unfamiliar sadness across his otherwise morose face.

His hands covered her cheeks as he lowered himself closer to her. “Forgive my sins,” he prayed quietly as his lips pressed against her forehead before pulling away. He unstrapped the baldric from his chest and set it atop the sword before standing. “It’s yours now. Give it to your son when it’s time. If you need me, I’ll be in the Northern Mountains. I’m sure you’ll find me if you look. I’m sorry, Celeste. I really am.”

She stared, unbelieving, at the weapon. The one she had always begged for. The one she wanted more than anything.

She got what she wanted.

She wished she hadn’t.

But it was hers now.

And she would accept it.

Because what other option did she have?

The woman watched her brother stand and walk to the door, a stranger she didn’t know, ready to leave her behind for the final time. To leave everything behind. “What happened to you, Raz?” she asked, barely finding her voice. “This isn’t like you.”

He paused but didn’t look back. “It doesn’t matter.” His voice dropped, mournful and desolate, a man with nothing left to live for. “God doesn’t care.”

Celeste felt her heart crumble. Not for herself, but for him. For every sacrifice he’d made for her with her being none the wiser. For carrying every burden without complaint. For always taking while overlooking his suffering. Without a second thought, she scrambled to her feet and rushed after her brother. “Wait!” she demanded as she tugged at her own baldric that held her glaive.

The one that Ben had made.

The only real thing she had of him.

She would give it away.

Because he had nothing left.

And neither did she.

Raz turned back as she pushed the handle against his shoulder, her hand going behind his head to push his forehead down and against her lips. “Forgive my sins.” She pulled away and smiled, the tears having never stopped. “For the pests. You know how the mountains on the land are. You need something.”

The man grasped the handle, the feel completely different than the sword he had always known. “Are you sure?”

“I am. Please take it.”

He nodded and turned away, leaving her.

What more could he say?

What more could she?

Celeste went back to the sword, wrapping her delicate fingers around the hilt and lifting the large blade in front of her.

Now, it was hers.

And one day it would be her son’s.

A child she never wanted to have.