Chapter 2:
Won't You Please Hold On
“Finally done with the work,” I said, stretching my arms above my head.
“Yeah,” Jason replied. “That took longer than I thought, not gonna lie.”
“I know, right? After all that, I’m kind of starving.”
“When are you not hungry,” Jason sighs lightly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I shot back, acting like I was offended.
“Nothing, nothing,” he said, brushing me off like he didn’t just call me fat.
“Well, I can cook us something if you want.”
“Oh, that’d be great,” I immediately reply, forgetting about his insult.
He grins. “You seem a little too happy about that.”
“Maybe. Just a little.”
“Alright, I’ll get on it then.”
After buying groceries we made our way back to our apartment. Before Jason started to cook I offered to help him, he said, “You would burn down the kitchen if you tried to cook.” It annoyed me a bit, especially since I was just trying to be nice. But if he wants to do it on his own then he’s free to do whatever. While Jason cooks I lie on the couch until I hear a random buzzing noise.
“You hear that?” I asked.
“I think it's my phone… could you see who's calling?” He sounded worried, as if he was ready for the worst. He normally sounds more flat or distant. So it was rare to see him sound this concerned.
“Uh yeah, sure.” I walk over to the table and grab his phone. “Looks like it’s your fathe—”
“Don’t pick it up,” he cuts in, his voice sharp.
“Oh uh, okay…”
I gently laid his phone back onto the couch, setting it face down. Ever since I knew him I could tell that there was something going on between him and his parents, especially his father. Every time any of them would call, his tone would shift, from the calm Jason I know to someone who was paranoid and on edge. I want to know what’s going on so that I could help him, but would I just be prying into his personal life? I wonder what happened between them to make him look like that. As I stared at his phone a silence filled the room. The warmth from earlier was drained out of the room. What was left was the sound of sizzling and a quiet yet tense person. Looking at him now, he does seem troubled. I just hope that he’s okay. With nothing else to do, I walk back to the couch and wait for him to finish cooking.
“All done.”
Should I ask what’s going on with him? I really do want to help but I’m not sure what I can do.
“Hey Alice, aren’t you hungry?” he loudly asked.
Snapping out of my head I answer “Oh uh yeah, I’m coming.”
I walk to the table and notice that all of the food was already at the table. Without saying anything, I grabbed my portion and started to eat. I want to help him talk about his problems but I have no Idea where to start. We sat in an awkward silence for a bit, I can feel the awkwardness strangle me.
I should say something. He’s helped me with so much already... I want to be there for him too. Okay, here goes nothing, hopefully he opens up.
“So uh, something happened between you and your dad?” I hesitantly ask.
“It's nothing…,” he mutters, eyes fixed on his food.
“Oh okay, but just so you know, I’ll always be here if you want to talk about anything.”
Jason looked up at me with a strange expression. I was expecting him to be annoyed or mad that I was trying to pry into his personal life but he wasn’t. He looked at me wide eyed, somewhat hopeful. Like a starving man who’d just caught the scent of food.
He hesitates a little before saying, “It’s just that…” Before he could finish his sentence his eyes drift over to the right, “never mind it’s kind of a lot to explain. Thanks for the offer though.”
He smiles as he speaks, but there’s a sadness in his eyes. I hate when he does this. Any time he would come close to opening up he restrains himself. I won’t let it happen this time; this time, I’ll be able to help him.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind hearing you out,” I asked, worry lacing my every word.
“I promise it’s no big deal,” He takes a deep breath and clenches his fist then says “Yeah definitely, don’t waste energy worrying about me. ”His eyes were dead and hollow, like someone had drained the light from them. The hopeful look he gave me earlier was completely gone, he isn’t even able to make eye contact anymore.
I stand up from my seat blurting out “It’s not a waste of energ–”
The way he worded that, it doesn’t sit right with me.
“Enough about me now” he cuts me off “What about you?” He said it with a faint smile.
“Huh, what do you mean?” suddenly confused. It felt so random to ask something like that at that moment. It had completely caught me off guard so I couldn't say anything else. I slowly sit myself back down as he starts to speak.
“Well that writing competition, did you send in any of your work?”
“Oh that… I kind of backed out last second, again…” I murmured, avoiding his gaze.
“What, why? I read your story and it seemed great. I’m sure you would’ve won. Or at least by entering you would have a higher chance of getting noticed by publishing companies.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah of course, you’re an amazing author.” He always knew what to say every time I would have a problem. His words made me feel a lot better about backing out.
“I guess I was too scared to do it. What if they think my story is bad and entering this competition is too nerve racking. I haven’t done anything like this so I’m kind of too scared to do it.” I said with a tight feeling in my chest.
“Don’t worry about that. I know how talented you are, so don’t doubt yourself.” His voice was calm, almost soothing. I always joked that Jason was a jerk, but deep down, I knew how caring he could be. “And besides,” he added, “eating is the only thing you’re good at. You’ll have to become a successful author.”
“Hey! And what exactly are you trying to say?” I shot back with an exaggerated pout.
“Oh wow isn’t the food amazing,” he quickly changes the subject.
“Oh yeah it's great, I guess..”
“You guess?”
Yup, can’t go feeding your ego now.” We shared a quick laugh, but then a quiet settled between us. My gaze drifted to the food in front of me. After a pause, I said softly, “Thanks, by the way.”
“Yeah… anytime,” he answers back with a gentle smile. At times like these I’m grateful to have Jason as my friend and roommate. But even though our interaction was fun, I failed today. I wasn’t able to help him out.
Of course, when I try to help him he only ends up comforting me, can’t believe I suck this much.
“Hey, I can do the dishes since you cooked.”
“Okay, thank you. I gotta head to work so I’ll see you.”
“This late?”
“Yeah I need a little extra money so I've picked up some night shifts. Only on Tuesday though so don’t worry too much about me.”
“Uh okay, if you say so. Just don’t overwork yourself okay?”
“Can’t make any promises,” he paused for a moment, “okay I’ll see ya then.”
I waved him goodbye as he headed out.
I guess I’ll start on the dishes then.
There wasn’t much, just some plates, forks, knives, and a pan. The quiet clinking of the dishes fills the room, but my mind is elsewhere. I wonder why he picked up the extra job. He doesn’t really eat out much, so what would he need the money for? I scrub the plate in my hands, frustration and shame bubbling up. Ugh. I feel like he’s going through a lot and I’ve just been useless. I should've done something—anything—by now. He cooked for me and comforted me for goodness sake. Next time, for sure, I’ll figure out how to help him. Maybe tomorrow I could cook for him. Hmmm, yeah that sounds like a great idea.
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