Kazuki Hayama

Kazuki Hayama stood at the gates of Seijo High, seemingly a normal high schooler. At least, that’s what he wanted everyone to think.

He glanced around. Girls were chatting with their friends or boyfriends, boys were doing the same. Just another average morning.

Then, his eyes landed on a girl standing alone. A random line he’d heard somewhere echoed in his mind. Without hesitation, he walked up to her and blurted:

“Greetings and salutations, fine shit.”

The girl froze, then burst out laughing at how absurd it sounded.

“There’s no way you said that,” she laughed. “Do you live on the internet?”

Hayama blinked. “Is that not how mor—people talk?”

Before the conversation could continue, a harsh bark ripped through the air.

“Hey why the FUCK are you talking to my girl?”

Hayama turned to the voice. A buff high schooler stomped forward, fury on his face.

“Oh I was unaware this was your mate,” Hayama answered calmly.

The jock practically exploded. “What the FUCK did you call me?!”

Hayama raised an eyebrow. “Are you stupid or something? I didn’t call you anything.”

“Did ya call me STUPID? We’ll see who’s stupid when you’re in the fucking dirt jackass.”

Before he could charge, his girlfriend grabbed his arm.

“Jack calm down, he didn’t mean anything by it,” she pleaded.

Jack growled. “I don’t care if he meant............. Uhhh, I don’t care what he meant!”

He swung a fist at Hayama, aiming to flatten him.

But instead, a loud, pinched, almost girly scream rang out — not from Hayama, but from Jack.

Jack cradled his shattered hand.

“What the FUCK!!!!”

His girlfriend rushed to him. “Jack are you okay?!”

Jack yelled back, “Lily, my hand is BROKEN, OF COURSE I’M FUCKING GREAT!”

Hayama just stood there, stunned.

“Wait a minute.... Holy fucking shit I fucked up.”
‘Wait Author-san that’s not in my vocabulary.’

“Shit I have to use my powers so soon.”

With a quick gesture, he restored Jack’s hand and erased the memories of everyone who had seen it happen.

‘Ok, I did it, Author-san next time tell me before I fuck up. Wait what’s going to happen now? I fucked up the flow. Shit, I’m talking to myself, I’m fucking mentally insane.’

Jack sneered. “I was going to punch you, but then I decided you’re not worth it.”

Hayama stayed silent.
‘I forgot about this jackass, whatever the fuck that word means, I say even though I know everything.’

Out loud, Hayama finally spoke. “Uhhhhhhhhhhh, excuse me sir? Can you let go of me?”

Jack was about to fire off an insult, but then paused mid-script.

“Are you insul— Nevermind, I’ll let go........ dickhead.”

Hayama looked at me instead of moving on.
‘What you say fuck me for?’

‘Ok fine I’m going,’ he sighed.

He glanced down at his—
Why the FUCK are you picking your nose?

Ahem. Anyway, Hayama looked back at his schedule.

“Huh, I have Mr. Grape first, a PE teacher…”

‘Ok this guy’s a pedo... You gotta do better naming than this.’

He kept going with his verbal rampage.
‘Does he go into girl’s locker rooms? I bet he’s fat as hell.’

Uhhhh, no, he’s muscular and goes into the boy’s locker room — he swings for the same team 💅. It’s 2025, you can’t assume shit like that.

Hayama looked up with the dumbest expression, acting like he didn’t realize I was fucking everywhere.

‘Ok so I was right and you didn’t like that so you changed his character?’

…Yes. 😔

‘End this chapter, this is way too fucking chaotic.’

I was going to do that anyway. You didn’t have to tell me.